Archive for the ‘MENSA Friday’ Category

MENSA Teaser

Friday, February 25th, 2011

It’s not true that to be a MENSA-headed Winner of the Week you have to have a giant head. Mr Fnortner, G Bush and Rob Huck were all MENSA-headed Winner’s last Week and I have to say, if anything they have rather smallish heads. I suppose though that they have giant brains, I mean, how else do you explain answering all three of last week’s questions correctly? That’s the only logical conclusion there is.

Rob Huck is back to blogging again after an absence of what, three years? The Mayor couldn’t be happier. Rob (and his brother) and The Mayor go waaaay back, back to the days when blogging was cool and kind of meant something. Now blogging is for circus freaks and those who like watching circus freaks. That would be you. The watchers of circus freaks. Rob is a good guy, you should visit him daily (right after spending a few hours here) and give him your support. Not financially, that’s reserved solely for me (see that, Dmorris, I spelt *solely* correctly this time).

Congratulations to our three MENSA winners. Can they repeat this week? I have no idea, let’s find out:

1) Fill in the blanks to complete the 14-letter word below

__  N __  N __  __  U __  I __  __  T __  C

2) Unscramble the letters in each word below, then unscramble the order of words to create a Tom Swifty sentence. (Tom always speaks adverbially.)


That should keep you hopping for a while.

Good luck to all our participants this week. MENSA-Teaser if open to all, every last one of youze. Leave your answers in the appropriate section, don’t cheat too much, and remember to visit Rob.

MENSA Teaser

Friday, February 18th, 2011

It would take too much time to explain the picture above, but let’s just say Fenris and The Mayor will never forget that weekend in Vegas.

Out of all the answers from last week’s MENSA Teaser, Mr Fnortner was the only unit to correctly identify every question. Impressive. Mr Fnortner must have a brain the size of my colon. Huge-like. Not blocked, but huge.

Congratulations, again, Mr Fnortner, you are the MENSA-headed winner of the week (MhWotW).

Yes, you’re the MhWotW!

Clare is at home today, sick with the flu, so The Mayor is playing male nurse, comforting the poor child and trying to get her back on the road to recovery. It’s a bumpy road, a road filled with potholes. And vomit. Having painted that lovely picture, let’s get on with some MENSAing.

1) Which of the following words would best fit in with this sequence: 1) Chime, 2) Cherish, 3) Wits 4)…

- waffle

- watch

- whisker

- three

2) What word can be found if one fills in the missing letters: S_ _ _u_p_ _ _ _i_n?

3) Two flagpoles are each 100 feet in height. A rope 150 long is strung between the tops of the poles. At its lowest point, the rope sags to within 25 feet of the ground. Exactly how far apart are the two flagpoles?


And so starts another week of MENSA Teaser. We have been going at this for five years now. Count ‘em, FIVE! Within that time The Mayor has watched you grow into adults, fine upstanding men and women. You’re voices have changed, your bodies strengthened. This is what we call in the blogging business a *moment*. I am so glad you’re here to share it with me.

Good luck to this week’s participants, may you all do as well as resident victor, Mr Fnortner.

MENSA Teaser

Friday, February 11th, 2011

I betcha that kids name is Darko. Just got a feeling about that.

This is going to come as a shock to my fellow Mitchievillian’s, and I do hope you are sitting down when I tell you this, but Sarah Knott has yet to accept The Mayor’s apology. I suppose as I said in my apology post, I didn’t really expect Sarah to accept my apology, but deep down in the recesses of this old crappy heart, I actually did think Sarah was going to come by and forgive me; and we would have a little laugh, sing Waltzing Matilda, and then get on with our exciting lives.

Not to be, yo.

On the bright side, last night I found a pair of socks I hadn’t seen for nearly three months! They somehow fell behind my dresser. But they’re fine now. Safe and secure.

MPalef, Mr Fnortner, Paul Mitchell, Andy, Rob Huck, Rebellious Todd and Polska all correctly identified last week’s MENSA Teaser questions, making them the MENSA-headed winners of the week.

At this rate, we’ll have to build a bigger podium.

Thems a lot of winners. Thems a lot of people that know their radishes. Thems a lot of people with a ton of information inside their skulls.

Congratulations to all our winners and thank you all who participated last week.

Thanks, and have a great day.

Oh right, you’re probably waiting for a new round of questions.

We’re going to mix things up a little this week, as I know you love having your junk mixed up, so, in lieu of that, today we are going to tackle five – count ‘em – FIVE non-MENSA movie trivia questions.

All five movie questions will be chosen from the decade known as the “80’s.” And whether you like it or not, this is going to be fun.

Here goes:

1) What was the very first James Bond movie that was shown in the 80’s? What was the last?

2) In the movie Porky’s, why did they call Meat Tuperello ‘Meat’?

3) In The Empire Strikes Back When The Ghost of Obi-Wan Kenobi Said That Luke Was Their Last Hope Against The Empire, Who was Yoda Referring To When He Said:No, There is Another

4) What is Indiana Jones main weapon?

 5) In the movie “Stand By Me”, what did Gordy, Chris, Vern and Teddy set out to find?

The Mayor can already see how this is going to play out. Some of you will answer some questions correctly that other will not. Others will answer some questions thinking they are right but not all of them will be. A few of you will answer only a few questions with some of those answers being correct with the other answers being wrong. While only a chosen few will answer all of the questions correctly.

Will you be part of the chosen few? Hahaha, no.

The Mayor got an unpressive 4/5, setting the gold standard for 80’s movie trivia. Are you as smart as The Mayor? Hahaha, no.

Good luck to all out participants. Everyone and anyone is encouraged to play. Even if you are not the chosen one, still put your answers in the comment section, because that’s where the answers go.

Have a lovely day.

MENSA Teaser

Friday, February 4th, 2011

As far as MENSA Teaser participation goes, last Friday’s game set the gold standard. We had new players, old players, borrowed players and blue players. Thems a lot of players. We also had our share of winners’ and our share of losers’. Among those that correctly identified all three questions correctly include: MPalef, Polska, Johns 1959, and Mr Fnortner.

Among the losers include everyone else.

Congratulations to our four winners. I did promise a prize for last week’s MENSA winners, and The Mayor fully intends to come through on his promise. How does a deep dish pepperoni and extra cheese pizza sound? Sounds pretty great, doesn’t it? And how about splitting that pizza with a special friend? Sounds pretty great, doesn’t it? Well, this is your lucky day.

All four of last week’s MENSA winners have won a deep dish pepperoni and extra cheese pizza courtesy of Big John’s Pizza Calhoun & Bait Shop. John even told The Mayor that after the pizza, he has another *special* gift or two waiting our lucky winners.

Lucky? Yes. Yes you are.

If you are wondering what today’s MENSA questions look like, well, they look a little something like this:

1) Which vowel comes midway between J and T?

2) Pear is to apple as potato is to?


If you’re wondering how The Mayor did on these questions, I got 2/3. For those of you not into fractions, that’s about 90% or so.

Good luck to all the Mensaheads who participate in this week’s game. These are tricky little questions, but if I know you like I think I know you, I’m sure you will come through in flying colours.

MENSA Teaser is open to everyone with a pulse. Good luck to all. And to all a good night.

MENSA Teaser

Friday, January 14th, 2011

It’s been a while since we’ve played MENSA Teaser, since last year, in fact. And The Mayor can tell by the deafening silence that you want to see MENSA Teaser back right this very second. Not next week, not next month, not tomorrow, but NOW!

Hey, settle down, The Mayor is way ahead of you. Patience is a virtue, you would do well to remember that.

The Mayor has chosen three questions for your consideration today. I wish you well, I know you can do it. In order to successfully answer these questions you will need a sprinkle of faith, a dash of hope, and a speckle of functioning brain cells. Yes, just a speckle.

1) There are 1200 elephants in a herd. Some have pink and green stripes, some are all pink and some are all blue. One third are pure pink. Is it true that 400 elephants are definitely blue?

2)Only one other word can be made from all the letters of INSATIABLE. Can you find it?

3) One of the following proverbs is closest in meaning to the saying, “Birds of a feather, flock together.” Choose one:


MENSA Teaser

Friday, December 17th, 2010

Looks as if someone took the phrase *kissing the porcelin God* waaaaay too literally.   Actually, is it *kissing the porcelin God*, or, *praying to the porcelin God?*

The Mayor’s family is still down with the flu, only arising from their beds every few hours in order to pray to the porcelain God. Talk about a depressing household right now. It’s all barf, toilet, ginger ale, crackers, barf, toilet, rinse and freakin’ repeat. The Mayor has had no reason to get out of his pyjamas for two days, so I guess that’s a plus. Mind you, they’re covered in puke, so that’s a minus. And, I’ll probably get the flu and die, so that’s another minus. I’m not looking forward to that, I feel as if I still have much to offer. Which would/could be a plus. I love you all.

Everyone was a winner last week. In the new “no one is ever a loser” world, you’ll be thrilled to know that from here on in, everyone will always be a winner. Even the losers. Of which there are none.

This week, The Mayor has decided to shake things up, and instead of our usual MENSA fare, we will be running 80’s trivia for your general consumption.

So, let’s get consumin’, shall we?

1) What star of the Breakfast Club was also part of the original cast of the Facts of Life?

2) What is the name of the fictional planet where ALF is from?

3) Which TV evangelist did George Bush defeat to win the Republican nomination in 1988?

4) Who beat Carl Lewis in 1988 in Seoul but was later disqualified? (**Hint – I didn’t take no stereo!)

5) What kind of disaster claimed some 100,000 lives in Armenia in 1988?

And while The Mayor would love to give you a few dozen more questions, I’m afraid I have to attend to a sick baby, a sick wife, my two sick legitimate boys, and besides, Man vs Food is on.

Good luck to all and to all a good night.

MENSA Teaser

Friday, December 10th, 2010

The Mayor is feeling a little off today. I don’t have a cold or flu, it’s nothing like that. I’m pretty sure it stems from something that happened last night as I was caroling the neighbourhoods of SE Mitchieville with the theatre troupe I attend every third Wednesday at the Mitchielle Little Big Theatre in central Mitchieville.

I got ready to leave The Manor last night around 7 ish. I tied up my boots and took a few steps, and felt a discomfort, an irritation really, in my left boot. I shuffled my foot a bit, but I could feel that there was some sort of object caught in my size 12. It wasn’t a pebble, but it could have been a shard of a pebble. A pebbles pebble, actually.

I shuffled my foot again, but to no avail, it wouldn’t coming out or move to the side. Instead of removing my boot and taking out the impediment, I decided to suck it up and try to ignore it. But you can’t ignore boot impediments, just as you can’t ignore that horrible feeling when you wake up at 3 am and have to pee, but decide you can go back to sleep and pee in the morning. It doesn’t work like that, when you have to pee it’s awfully uncomfortable to just lay there thinking about it, isn’t it?

So I kept going all night with this pebbles pebble in my boot, every step I took was more gingerly than the previous. 9 hours later when I got back to The Manor, I took off my boots and what I saw freaked me right out – I had a blister the size of Oprah’s head on my left foot. It even looked like Oprah (minus the lesbianism and the tears).

It was so bad that I decided to call my private physician to have a look at it. Fortunately, my private physician was actually at The Manor for poker night with Sargon, Fenris, Thrax. My doctor took at look at my foot and made an immediate decision – the foot has to come off. To be extra safe, my doctor decided to also remove my right foot and my left hand (my left hand was suffering from a touch of frostbite, maybe).

And that’s the reason why I feel a little off today.

Or maybe I have a cold, I’m not sure.

There were quite a few smarty-panted winners of last week’s MENSA Teaser.

They include:

Uncle Scott (who got extra privileged tokens for using the phrase *pony sex girl* in his answer).

Mr Fnortner

Paul Mitchell (who has a disturbing picture on the front page of his website this morning).

Andy from Redneck Ramblings (who always has a disturbing picture on the front page of his website).

Not-winners include:



Congratulations to all out MENSA winners, you have made every citizen of Mitchieville proud. The Mayor would stand up and give you a big round of clap, but that is no longer physically possible any more.

There is but one question this week, but it is actually many questions within one question:

Each of the answers is a word or phrase that commonly ends in an exclamation point! However, all of the consonants have been replaced by blanks. So get to it! (That’s a clue to #1.)

1. _ U _ _ Y   U _!

2. O _,  _ O!

3. _ O _’ _    _O    I_!

4. _ O O _ A Y!

5. _ EA_E      _E     A_O_E!

6. _ _ A _’_     A    _IE!

7. _E   _UIE_!

8. _U _ _ _ I_ E!

I hope the way The Mayor spaced the letter doesn’t throw you off too much, but it’s not easy typing with one hand.

Good luck to all those that participate in Mitchieville’s MENSA Teaser. By playing, you will be blessed. I can back that up with facts. But you don’t need facts right now, you need a pencil, a piece of paper, and a few zillion functioning braincells. Wish I could help you with those items, but I have my own problems right now.

MENSA Teaser

Friday, December 3rd, 2010

Mitchieville’s Minister of Agriculture, Two Dogs, gave a call-out the other day on his blog (like 3 week’s ago about), asking for fellow bloggers to send him their bestest and or most memorable posts they have created over the years. Paul was going to take those posts and make one gigantic post of his own, and this and that, laa dee da, that’s all I can remember. Point is, Paul wants some posts and The Mayor is a little stumped as to what to send. I have three posts in mind, but seeing as Mitchieville has nearly 10,000 posts (we should hit 10K this year), I figure there should be one or two more that stand out, but my memory has failed me terribly.

So, what I would like to do is ask you, my gracious, caring, and brilliant constituents to come up with a few of your favourite posts that have graced these pages over the years. I know, I don’t expect you to come up with 7-8K of them, although I’m sure that’s how many are your favourite, but if you do remember a few (or a lot) let me know so I can send them along to Paul.

MENSA Teaser went from having zero winners two week’s ago to having a whole buttload of winners last week. Included in the buttload was MPalef, Mr Fnortner, and Andy of Ramblings fame. Granted, it was not a big buttload, but it was a very tight buttload, and each member in the buttload should be quite proud of themselves. And as for MPalef’s question as to whether he won a car or not. I can honestly tell you that no, there will be no car winnings for you. Your winning is knowing you are part, nay, a GIANT part of a tight buttload.

You all are. You should all be proud. You are all giant parts of a tight buttload.



Here are today’s MENSA Teaser questions:

1) Mare has five more brothers than she does sisters, but her brother Cudgel has twice as many brothers as he does sisters.

How many siblings are in the family. And, is one of the girls known as Pony Sex Girl?

2) The Mayor has removed the vowels from two contradictory statements (joined by the word “but”) and changed the spacing into groups.

Can you figure out the original?


The Mayor can honestly say that he has no idea what the second question even means. I’m not even sure that question is in English.

What a glorious day, it’s as if The Mayor just made $23,000 in one singular business deal that just wrapped up 20 minutes ago. It’s just like that!

Good luck to all of our MENSA Teaser players. The game is open to everyone. Yes, everyone. YOU could be just like the tight buttload winners that were featured today. And when all is said and done and you’re taking a dirt nap, wouldn’t it be nice to know in your dead brain that you were once a tight buttload winner on an obscure website in 2010?

Well, wouldntcha?

MENSA Teaser

Friday, November 26th, 2010

I was driving down a sideroad in Mitchieville yesterday behind a guy that had his left turn signal on. There was no place to pass for about 20 k, so the whole time I was driving 25 km below the speed limit, cursing this dolt who had his idiot signal on. At the 19.9 km I got fed up and beeped my horn at him, hoping he would pull over. What kind of a fool would drive for nearly 20 k with his left turn signal on? About four seconds after I beeped, he turned left into his driveway.

So he WAS turning left. He was probably just giving me ample time to make by indicating his intentions. He’s kind of like a hero, I suppose. Now who’s the fool? Man, was my face red.

True story, tell your friends.

The Mayor can count the winners of last week’s MENSA Teaser on one hand. Actually, I could could them on one hand even if I didn’t have a hand a just a bloody stump. And the stump doesn’t count for one. In other words, there was not a soul that correctly identified last week’s questions. And that’s unfortunate, because the prize package for last week’s TEASER was outrageous. The Mayor isn’t even going to tell you what the prizes were because after I told you I’m sure you would cry. Let’s just say one of the prizes goes vroom vroom when DRIVING it. Too bad, so sad, na na na na, good bye.

Here are the questions for this week’s MENSA Teaser:

1) For a $300 office party where everyone chips in, five people did not want to participate, but they eventually changed their minds. If they had not participated, everyone else would have paid $2 more.

How many people participated?

2) What two words, formed from different arrangements of the same six letters, can be used to complate the sentence below?

The desk clerk was unable to check the __________ of participants submitted by the tour conductor because the print was too light, so he had to _____________ to taking an actual count.

I believe you will all agree that the key word in question 1 is “to”.

Less than a month until Christmas, where has the time gone? I don’t know. I do not know.

Good luck to this week’s participants, I wish you all the best. And remember, it’s okay to keep your turn signal on while you drive if you figure you’ll eventually turn.

See how I brought that whole turn signal thing around? That’s pretty sharp.

MENSA Friday – And Red Letter Andy’s Wife’s Birthday

Friday, November 19th, 2010

It’s amazing when you think about it: yesterday was Dmorris’ birthday, today is Andy’s wife’s birthday, and tomorrow? There’s probably a chance it will be someone else’s birthday. Keraaaaaazy when you think about it.

Happy Birthday to Mrs Andy (it’s times like this that I really wish I knew more peoples names), I hope today is a little bit of special for you. In honour of your birthday, Mrs Andy, I have posted a picture of a child whacking a seal on a cord. In my culture, demolishing animals, especially seals, and then posting the pictures online, is considered a great tribute. And we know you are a wonderful person, Mrs Andy, because you are married to such a wonderful guy. But it’s not his birthday, it’s yours, so let’s stop pumping Andy’s head up with all sorts of compliments and stuff, today is all about you. Man, that’s just like Andy to try to take away your spotlight, isn’t it? Honing in on YOUR day, that really ticks me off. Good job Andy, you’ve ruined The Mayor’s tribute and destroyed your wife’s birthday. I hope you’re happy!

Hey, the Maple Leafs won last night, just like Sargon predicted. More amazing things, eh?

Do you know that Mr Fnortner was the only person to correctly identify BOTH MENSA Teaser questions last week? Then again, how would you have ever known that? Are you Kreskin? Do you have fake powers like Kreskin? Of course you don’t, only Kreskin has the fake powers of Kreskin. But ya, Mr Fnortner got them both right and is now the MENSA Teaser Smarty Panted Winner of the Week. I betcha he’s feeling quite smug right about now. I betcha he’s looking down his nose at you and laughing. “HAHAHA, I am WAAAAY smarter than you!!! HAHAHA”

That bothers me, Mr Fnortner, you’re starting to sound like Andy! Not white letter Andy though, more like the other Andy – the guy that DESTROYED his wife’s birthday by trying to act all big-shotish.

Anyway, congrats on your amazing victory, Mr Fnortner, and congrats for acting like a true sport (by laughing in your opponents faces).

Here are this week’s MENSA teasers, I shore do hope you enjoy ‘em!

1) A hat contains 40 slips of coloured paper. The colours are red, green, and blue. There are twice as many green slips, and the number of red slips is five times greater than the number of green slips.

How many slips of each colour are there?

2) A well-known slogan is given in fancy language below. Put it back into standard English.

“Make sure to attach your farm or antique (probably horse-drawn) means of transportation to a scintillating object observed in the galactic sky.”

And just like that, it’s done. Man, doesn’t that feel really good? Sure it does, it feels great!

MENSA Teaser is open to all, The Mayor doesn’t care what you look like, what you drive, or even the colour of your hair. The only thing The Mayor cares about is what social status you are. Man, that didn’t come out quite right. Anyhoo, good luck to all participants, and good luck to red letter Andy as he tries to talk his way out of the mess he created this morning by destroying his wife’s birthday. I still can’t believe he did that.

MENSA Teaser

Friday, November 12th, 2010

I really like the picture I posted today. Not so much for the subjects in question, but rather for that most-excellent wallpaper. That’s top shelf, baby. You know you have reached the pinnacle of success in Lithuania when you have wallpaper like that.

MPalef and Mr Fnortner were the MENSA Teaser Smarty Panted Winners of the Week a few week’s back, the last time we played this game. Surprisingly, I have NO prizes to award this week. Austerity measures have gripped Mitchieville, times are tough all around. Welfare payments have been cut 3%, there are now user fees for dispensing drugs, no more “free” children’s breakfasts – there is even talk of capping The Mayor’s expense account to $12,000.00 a month! If the electorate thinks The Mayor is going to cut back on his six tumbler Black Bowmore 1964 liquid lunches, well, the electorate do be wrong, yo.

I’ve got two MENSA questions this week that are literally going to blow your mind. Granted, I’m using the word literally wrong, but let’s just say someone’s mind actually does blow up, then who’s the fool? Ya.

1) How are all these words related?

Vaseline   —   Verve

Cove     —-    Catch

Valley   —-   Deice


2) MPalef is now one-third as old as Mr Fnortner. In six years MPalef will be as old as Mr Fnortner is now.

What is the pin # to MPalef’s debit card  How old are they now?

How is your mind now? Is it sufficiently blown? That’s what I thought, it blow’d up real good.

The Mayor mentioned this a few years back, but I still marvel that we have been playing MENSA Teaser now for over five years. And boy are my arms tired! HAHAHA.

Everyone is encouraged to play the Teaser. The more the merrier. Even if you only have one of the answers, you can still participate. Look at it like the cup is half full, or whatever. Don’t look at anyone else’s answers, just jot down your own and be done with it. It’s THAT easy.

Mini Teaser

Tuesday, November 2nd, 2010

Simple. They aren’t eggs. They are dinosaur brains. Therefore, this is a trick question. As a matter of fact, that isn’t even a basket. It’s my auntie Mildred’s hat. And it’s beautiful. Just like auntie Mildred.