Archive for the ‘Michael Vick’ Category

Buy A Michael Vick Philadelphia Eagle Jersey For Your Dog

Tuesday, September 1st, 2009


The marketing geniuses that work for the Philadephia Eagles may want to rethink their decision to offer Michael Vick Doggie Jersey’s that are currently for sale on the Eagles website. You see, if you brought home a Vick jersey for your mutt, your poor dog would think you are going to slit its throat as it sleeps. What better way to tell your poooch you love it, than by outfitting him with a jersey of a known doggie killer.

Why stop there though, now that your dog thinks you are going to send him to the great kennel in the sky, why not also offer a Michael Vick Giant Vat of Water. Your dog will be so smartly dressed as you (and possibly Michael Vick) throw a bag over Fido’s head and toss him into the Limited Edition Michael Vick Giant Vat of Water – now only $29.95, while quantities last (cinder block extra).

Scott’s Tip of the Day tipped me off to this

Vick Apology

Friday, August 31st, 2007

Days after pleading guilty for his role in a dogfighting racket, NFL quarterback Michael Vick offered a public apology. Slate’s partners at asked 300 people to rate how sincere Vick seemed. Here are their real-time responses.

The best part is right at the end, stay with it to the conclusion.

Thank, Reg, for hooking me up to this.


Michael Vick Thinks God is #1
Michael Vick To Plead Guilty
Michael Vick is Being Sued For $63 Billion
Dan Wetzel is Disingenuous
Michael Vick On Dogfighting Charges

Michael Vick Thinks God Is #1

Tuesday, August 28th, 2007

Michael Vick declared that he found God today, which makes me think that the saying, “Religion is the last refuge of scoundrels”, as absolutely true:

“We all make mistakes,” said Michael Vick. “Dogfighting is a terrible thing and I reject it … I found Jesus and turned my life over to God. I think that’s the right thing to do as of right now.”

This guy is unreal. As I said in previous posts, a mistake is an error in judgement due to poor reasoning. What Vick did was no error, it was calculated, it was reasoned and he was in a sane mental state.

People like Vick tend to find God when they are in jail, not before being sentenced. Although I think that’s exactly why Vick found God, it may make an impression on a judge.

Everything this work of art does is calculated. Don’t let him fool you by telling you he made a mistake, don’t let him fool you by saying he found God, don’t let him fool you when he tells you his name is Michael Vick, that’s probably horseshit, too.

Don’t let the dawg out

Michael Vick To Plead Guilty

Monday, August 20th, 2007

Michael Vick has agreed to plead guilty to dogfighting conspiracy charges in return for a one year to 18 month (possible) prison sentence:

“Mr. Vick has agreed to enter a plea of guilty to those charges and to accept full responsibility for his actions and the mistakes he has made,” Martin said in a statement. “Michael wishes to apologize again to everyone who has been hurt by this matter.”

I wouldn’t exactly call what Michael Vick did a *mistake*. Pitting animals against each other and letting them fight to the death can’t be classified as an error in judgement, unless his error in judgement was getting caught.

Don’t let the lawyers fool you into believing that Michael Vick is sorry for what he did or that he made a mistake. A mistake is forgetting to pick up milk, or wearing a white belt with white shoes. What Michael Vick did was the behaviour of a calculating, demented, psychotic asshole who loves abusing animals.

You’re sorry? Great, go fuck yourself. Apology not accepted.

Michael Vick is Being Sued For $63 Billion

Wednesday, August 15th, 2007

No, he’s not being sued by Dr. Evil, although the person that’s suing him is most definitely evil (but not a doctor). An South Carolinian inmate is suing Vick, and had some pretty damning evidence to back up his claims:

Jonathan Lee Riches filed the handwritten complaint over “theft and abuse of my animals” on July 23 in the U.S. District Court in Richmond, Va.

Riches alleges that Vick stole two white mixed pit bull dogs from his home in Holiday, Fla., and used them for dogfighting operations in Richmond, Va. The complaint goes on to allege that Vick sold the dogs on eBay and “used the proceeds to purchase missiles from the Iran government.”

The complaint also alleges that Vick would need those missiles because he pledged allegiance to Al Qaeda in February of this year.

“Michael Vick has to stop physically hurting my feelings and dashing my hopes,” Riches writes in the complaint.

Riches wants $63 billion dollars “backed by gold and silver “ delivered to the front gates to the Williamsburg Federal Correctional facility in South Carolina. Riches is an inmate at the facility serving out a wire fraud conviction.

Wow, who woulda thunk that Michael Vick is not only an animal abuser, but a God-damned terrorist.

Get your checkbook out right now, Mr Abdul Al Mohammad Vick, that boy has got you dead-to-rights.

And yes, I did see that the inmates last name is Riches

Michael Vick, victim of racism

Friday, July 20th, 2007

As all activists, I was moved to rage at the media coverage of the dogfighting charges against black role model Michael Vick. Since when has dogfighting been a ‘crime’?

Racism bites. So why is it that this black role model is singled out for attention? Is it because ‘dogfighting’ is a crime? or because Michael Vick is black? Where are the white NFL quarterbacks being charged? There are none! This alone is sufficient grounds to have the charges dropped. Better yet, have the police and prosecutors who charged Michael placed under investigation, and found guilty of crimes against political correctness!
Dogfighting is not a crime. The only people who think dogfighting is a crime are people contaminated with Christian ‘morality’. Just because dogfighting was suppressed under the racist heteronormative hater state of the Vimy-Ridge-Canadians does not mean that it is wrong. Situational ethics dictates situations may exist where owning a breeding farm for gladiator dogs is perfectly acceptable. Michael Vick is not a member of a privileged group … so why should he be held accountable? Many cultures celebrate dog fighting. In a multi-cultural state, we embrace diversity, and that means letting people put dogs in a pit and watching them fight. This includes cockfighting, lobster brawls, and mixed species matches. My multi-cultural Canada includes dogfighting.
The whiny right wing fascists have their white underwear in a knot because some of the gladiator dogs were shot, drowned, or electrocuted after the match. Well, so what? What does termination of a fetus have to do with killing? This sounds like an issue in government regulation. Did the Mike Harris conservatives make cuts to the government inspectors that oversee post dog fight dog abortions? Cuts to social spending is the issue here. Maybe if our disadvantaged youth had access to subsidized dogfights they would be less inclined to be forced into youth crime and illiteracy.
Like most activists, I am paid to attend many social events. Some cultures celebrate abortion rights with toddler versus poodle pit matches at family picnics. There is nothing more romantic than taking a first date to the cockfights. The sounds of the crowd, the flying feathers, and the final crow of victory! How romantic! How multi-cultural! What could be more anti-Christian and more Earth friendly than pitting animal against animal in a flesh rending duel of slashing claws and biting teeth? If black role model Michael Vick likes to watch a few dogs bite each other, then who are we to judge? Beyond paying more taxes for inspectors, a registry, and an ombudsman, tell the nosy right wing whiners to shut up.

Turn back the clock to a time when dogfighting, cockfighting, and even gladiatorial games were celebrated. Only when the state can send eco-criminals and Global Warming deniers to hack each other up in a barbarian frenzy at the Air Canada Center can we call ourselves truly free of Christianity. Enemies of the state to the arena! Let them fight packs of dogs, or wallow in mud to wrestle giant iguanas. Let the people be entertained with bread and circuses. The Americans owe Michael Vick an apology, and reparations!
I, Fenris Badwulf, wrote this at Mitchieville and DustMyBroom

Michael Vick On Dogfighting Charges

Wednesday, July 18th, 2007

Atlanta Falcons quarterback (for now) is in a poo load of trouble after being charged with competitive dogfighting, procuring and training pit bulls for fighting, and conducting the enterprise across state lines:

The operation was named “Bad Newz Kennels,” according to the indictment, and the dogs were housed, trained and fought at a property owned by Vick in Surry County, Va.

Conviction carries up to six years in prison, fines of $350,000 and restitution.

Among the grisly findings: Losing dogs either died in the pit or were electrocuted, drowned, hanged or shot. The indictment said purses climbed as high as $20,000 for fights.

I’ve always believed that if you can do something like that to an animal, crossing the line and doing that to a human aint far behind.

I know everyone is innocent until proven guilty, and I really like Michael Vick as an athlete, but IF he is found guilty, he should be shot through the head. No, he should be electrocuted, drowned, hanged or thrown to the ground until he’s a lifeless QB.

Or, send him to Cleveland to play. The animals at the Dogpound would love to see him there.

Who let the QB out? Who, who, who?

Michael Vick and His Secret Stash

Tuesday, January 23rd, 2007

Prosecutors will not file charges against Atlanta Falcon’s quarterback, Michael Vick, after a drug test on his water bottle came up negative.

For those of you not in the know, Michael Vick was stopped at the Miami International Airport last Wednesday and made to surrender his water bottle, which not only had a *secret compartment* in it, but smelled of pot. Vick wasn’t arrested, and the water bottle was sent to a crime lab in Florida to be tested.

There are more questions than answers in this case, things are just way too bizarre to overlook. For instance: Why in the hell would a grown man have a *secret compartment* in a water bottle if he wasn’t carrying something secret? If Vick was transporting water, surely he would have used a plain ole water bottle and not a water bottle with a *secret compartment* in it.

Say what you want about cops, but they are experts when it comes to two smells: donuts and pot. If the cops, not cop but copS, smelled pot in Vick’s water bottle, rest assured it was pot. A cop can smell a joint from 1000 yards, and a donut from 3 miles away, there is no way a bunch of cops were wrong about that. No way. Especially in Florida.

Why would general manager Rich McKay say that owner Arthur Blank was *Upset* with Vick right after the news broke on this? Surely Vick was in contact with Blank and told him he was innocent? Wouldn’t Blank, who signed Vick for $130 million, stand behind his prize quarterback a little heavier than that. Oui?

Why wasn’t Vick questioned on the FACT that he tried to take something with a SECRET COMPARTMENT onto an airplane? Remember 9/11? Is there one rule for Vick and one for us? Put it this way, if airport security stopped YOU and found a water bottle with a secret compartment that smelled like dope, would you be questioned? Would they allow YOU to board a plane?

Why isn’t Vick freaking out about being unfairly accused of a serious crime? If someone accused you of a crime you didn’t commit, wouldn’t you freak out to save your reputation?

If that smell wasn’t pot, what was it then? What was in Michael Vick’s water bottle?

Remember, this is the same Michael Vick who last April settled a lawsuit with a woman who accused him of knowingly giving her herpes, so herpe boy isn’s exactly a saint.

I do know one thing for a fact though, Vick was in Miami when this went down, and that’s the closest he’ll ever get to the Superbowl.