Archive for the ‘MindTrap Friday’ Category

MindTrap Friday

Friday, April 27th, 2012

The Mayor sent that graphic to Obama’s security detail, in the hopes that those wacky “knuckleheads” take it to heart. “Knuckleheads”, that’s how Obama referred to those guys. Just a few, crazy, wacky knuckleheads. He actually used that word. Knuckleheads. Like they got caught pulling some silly college prank. Like putting firecrackers down a toilet. “Those keraaaaaazy, knuckleheads.”

JDN and the condom sucking Pizzamancer were the two big winners from last week’s MENSA game. Mr Fnortner decided to give last week a pass, along with 3800 other Mitchievillian’s. They are resting up, The Mayor supposes.

JDN and the Pizzamancer are the MENSA-Headed Smarty Panted Winners of the Week. Although there are no actual prizes in this game, Fenris will be dedicating a midnight basketball court in their names. They’ll be on a plaque, you know. Until some gangbanger grafitti’s the hell out of it. Scarborough east side, represent, all all that.

This week we will be taking a break from MENSA, and in its place we will be playing MindTrap. It’s along the same line: The Mayor asks a few questions, you answer them. For more instructions, please refer to the website www.iamtoostupidtolive.net

Let’s git ‘er dun!

1) Something extraordinarily unusual happened on the 6th of May, 1978 at 12:34 p.m. What was it?

2) This is a most unusual paragraph. How quickly can you find out what is so unusual about it? It looks so ordinary you’d think nothing was wrong with it and in fact, nothing is wrong with it. It is unusual though. Why? Study it, think about it, and you may find out. If you work at it for a bit it will dawn on you. So jump to it and try your skill at figuring it out. Good luck!

Kinda like MENSA, but not MENSA. It’s what the kids would refer to as, “the same, but different.” Damn kids and their rock ‘n roll.

Good luck to all, and to all a good night.

The Mayor is outtahere!

MindTrap Friday

Friday, January 27th, 2012

 

Every couple of days The Mayor receives a comment from a Mitchieville newbie, a comment that is sitting in moderation, waiting to be approved or axed. These comments nearly always have to do with an old post, sometimes from posts The Mayor doesn’t even recognize. Many times, the newbie commenter’s from these posts insult The Mayor and his constituents, saying some rather nasty things about us. 

And that makes The Mayor smile. For The Mayor believes that no matter how idiotic these malcontents are, they do have a right to their stupid opinions. 

The Mayor will link up these posts as they come along, because he knows how much his constituents like this sort of outrageous entertainment. Here’s one to get you started – Kathleen Turner’s Looking Good

Speaking about people with names that are difficult to pronounce, Mr Fnortner was the only person who correctly identified both questions in MindTrapthe last time we played. As the kids would say, “Mr Fnortner did rather well”. It’s so good we have well-mannered children. 

Mr Fnortner stands alone. He is quickly becoming legend around these parts. Most likely he drives a foreign car and speaks upwards of two languages. The Mayor supposes he likes expensive scotch and has small dinner plates, possibly the 8″ kind. He’s good with animals, no doubt, and is wife is always satisfied when it comes to matters of the sexual nature. My Fnorter can still climb a tree, and he can throw a curve ball when asked. He has an expensive laptop, and the drapes in his living room are vacuumed by a team of professional maids every three years. That’s Mr Fnortner for you. You people never stood a chance. 

Here are today’s MindTrap questions, and try not to hate Mr Fnortner too much: 

1) There is an ancient invention still used in some parts of the world today that allows people to see through walls. What is it? 

2) All the vowels have been removed from the following proverb, and the remaining letters broken into groups of three letters each. Replace the vowels to find the proverb. 

BRD SFF THR FLC KTG THR 

And there you have it. Good luck to all our MindTrap players. Everyone is encouraged to play, you don’t have to have a small, expensive, European sports car to get into this game (like Mr Fnortner does). We all all treated pretty much equal in the eyes of your Mayor. 

Start!

MindTrap Friday

Friday, January 13th, 2012

Our first MindTrap of the year went off without a hitch a few week’s ago, with The Godless Commie and Andy(of the red letter type), answering both questions correctly. We were all amazed here at MindTrap Central that despite being our first MindTrap of the year, not one soul got injured or hurt, and everyone made it out alive. Unlike what happened in 2003 at our first MindTrap of the year. Those memories will haunt The Mayor’s dreams for an eternity. Maybe longer.

The Mayor doesn’t remember what the two MindTrap questions were a few week’s back, but he does remember that one involved smoking, and the other involved midgets and dope. He could be wrong, but he doubts it.

If you’re wondering what today’s MindTrap questions are, you just need to read a bit further to find out. One more sentence should do it:

1) Every Tuesday evening Hardy Pyle drives up to his cottage to visit his wife. On these weekly visits he drops off the clean clothes and picks up the dirty laundry. Since Mrs. Pyle changes her underwear each morning, what is the minimum number of underwear she can own?

2) Which word from Group B belongs with the words from Group A and why?

A) PAPER, BLAST, BANK, BOX
B) JUICE, BAG, CRADLE, CARPET

Do you know what makes some people really, really angry? The fact that Tim Tebow is really good at MindTrap. Their anger doesn’t stem from the fact that Tebow is a Christian and loves God, oh noes, it’s that he knows MindTrap really well, and wins most games he plays, but he should never win, because apparently he’s not that good. And he prays. Or something like that.

 When The Mayor first heard of Tim Tebow, he thought the guys on the TeeVee were calling him Tim T-Bone. The Mayor thought that was a terribly delicious, although silly, name. Enough said.

MindTrap is open to every and all Mitchievillian’s and non-Mitchievillian’s alike. Simply place your answers in the appropriate spot (preferably in the comment section), and The Mayor will sit down next week and go over your answers with his panel of seven judges, to declare who are the winners and who are the idiots that walk among us. Like that drop-dead dumb fool in the picture above.

Hahaha, just kidding. You could never be THAT stupid.

MindTrap

Thursday, January 5th, 2012

It’s incredible to The Mayor how many cock stories end up in tragedy.

If you played Mensa Teaser December 16 and you have a name of Rob Huck, Soylent Green, Pizzamancer (from Nagasaki!), Don Morris, V-Logging Andy, or  The Retired Geez, the chances you answered every Mensa Teaser question correctly that day are somewhere in the neighbourhood of 100%. Actually, 100% is exactly where that neighbourhood is. And that’s a pretty fine neighbourhood. A neighbourhood where there are no gangbangers, no graffiti on the mailboxes, and no K-Mart stores with semi-literate employees. Boy, what a great neighbourhood.

But today we play MindTrap, and many of our settler’s to this fine neighbourhood will soon be uprooted and placed in a welfare building. That’s right. Welcome to GutterTown, swinehoofen.

MindTrap is like Mensa, only a tad bit harder. Same rules apply. Good luck to all:

1) An old beggar collects cigarette ends from ashtrays and sidewalks and uses the tobacco to roll her own cigarettes. She has this practice down to a fine art, knowing it will take seven cigarette ends to make one cigarette. Since she has collected 49 ends, how many cigarettes can she make from these and why?

2) What is a five letter word in the English language whose pronunciation isn’t changed by removing four of its letters?

Those are some good looking questions, The Mayor hopes you enjoy them. Mmmmmmm.

Mindtrap – Mitchieville Marathon

Tuesday, December 7th, 2010

The Mayor has this rolling series, a quiz. I do not know where he gets his material. I used to think I knew, but my first theory did not pan out. From March 13, 2009 * OK, this one is not called MindTrap, but you know what I mean:

The more I look at this picture the less funny it becomes. I’ve looked at it so many times in the last 10 minutes that now it bugs me. It’s not even very creative when it comes right down to it–some broad wrapped 8 babies up in a scarf or something and put on big lips, which I can’t figure out the significance of. I suppose what bugs me about this picture is that the little porker making fun of the octomom is the type of girl I usually see with a gaggle of babies. So, in essence, porker is making fun of herself. Wait, the humour is rushing back. Oh ya, I got it now.

Bravo, porker, nicely played.

Hey, if you’re been leaving comments and they haven’t appeared, or even disappeared, I haven’t been deleting them or messing with them, it seems to be the fault of some outside influence. I’m thinking Wordpress or some blogging God, or James Carville, or some equally treacherous monster with no conscience. Whatever it may be though, fret not, my crack team of outsourced, out-of-country IT professionals should have that fixed up shortly (but don’t hold your breath, if you know what I mean.)

Last Friday, Greg and Steamboat McGoo came up with the right answers and became Mitchieville’s Smarty Panted Co-Winners of the Week. They weren’t easy questions, but Greg and Steamboat-in the words of Paula Abdul, if I may), made them their own. They overcame, they persevered, they fought and fought until the answers formed in their over-ripe melons. I’m proud of them and so should you be. They are 5 billion times better than the octomom.

Here are today’s MENSA questions:

1) Unscramble the letters in each word below., then unscramble the order of words to create a Tom Swift sentence. (Tom always speaks adverbially.)

ELKA MOT PLACDIYL DISA I WGRE PU NO LLYOVE HTIS

2) Name the capital of each of these U.S. States. Then take a letter from the same position in each word and, without rearranging, read the letters down to get other capital. Be careful!

Oregon

California

Texas

Florida

New York

Everyone is encouraged to play, we’ve actually had some newcomers get involved in this week’s MENSA teaser and that made Steamboat very happy. Even if someone has the correct answers listed in the comment section, put your answers in their anyways, we trust your honesty (personally I don’t, but the lawyers made me type that). Good luck, God speed, and may the force be with you. Nanu nanu.

MENSA Friday

Friday, October 8th, 2010

It hardly seems that it was over three months ago we had our last MENSA Friday. To The Mayor, it seems like two and a half months tops. Maybe two months and three weeks, but no way just over three months. That’s nearly 100 days. I’m not sure how many hours that is, but I bet you it’s over 50,000. Maybe more. Where has the time gone?

For those of you who are new to Mitchieville, we have been playing MENSA Friday for nearly six years now. I’m not sure how many days or hours that would be, but if my calculations are correct, that’s nearly 23,000 days and 2 million hours ago. Wow.

MENSA Friday is one of the most popular segments Mitchieville has ever had. And it works like so: The Mayor asks two or three MENSA approved questions, and 90% of my constituents ignore them completely, leaving one or two souls to fill the void of the white space left. Yes, it’s as much fun as it sounds.

The winner(s) of each MENSA Friday gets the dubious distinction of being the MENSA-Headed Smarty-Panted Winner of the Week, and with that comes a crown, privilege tokens, and an array of shiny and very expensive gifts. That’s no lie, Paul Mitchell has made out like a bandit and now has a garage full of fast European cars.

Let’s go right to the questions, or as I will say for the next 42 weeks – Let’s git ‘er dun!

1) If six packages of paper cups and nine packages of paper plates cost $12, but six packages of paper plates and nine packages of paper cups cost $10.50, how much does each package cost?

2) Below are proverbs in which each word has been replaced by a rhyming word. (ignore punctuation, which may have changed.) For example, “Wet, bleeping hogs “sty” yields “Let sleeping dogs lie.”

1) Factions seek chowder an’ curds.

2) Gold bands for part.

3) School’s star played new, free token.

4) Doubt dove might clout love-blind.

5) Wears so much bling – has the key punch.

Did The Mayor mention this game is best when you hop yourself up with a gallon of coffee first?

And there you have it, the new season of MENSA is upon us. Autumn is here. The World Series has started. Santa is making presents as we speak and Christmas is around the corner. And you look beautiful. And I’m not just saying that, it’s no wonder your better half always wants to make sweet love to you.

Best of luck to all!

MENSA Teaser

Thursday, May 20th, 2010

I’m not sure if I’m looking at rain on the window, or sweat pouring off the big mama cuz she just finished her workout – getting up off the couch, putting down the bowl of Ringalo’s and going outside. Either way, it’s another fat peoples joke in Mitchieville, someone was sure to be offended, and Philadelphia is going to take the Habs tonight 3-2.

There are only a few more weeks left of MENSA Teaser before we put it away for the summer and get on to more pressing posts – like that Fancy Furniture idea J.M. Heinrichs gave me yesterday in the comment section for the Scott Baio post. A post everyone loves, but pretends they don’t. You folks shouldn’t suppress your true feelings, it’s not healthy.

For the first time in a long time, we didn’t have a MENSA winner last week. We had a few losers, but no winners. MPalef and Andy got the first question right but the second question is actually six, five, sixteen. I know that doesn’t make any sense right now, but that’s because you don’t remember the question. Here is the question, go acquaint yourself with it. But try not to get too close, remember the 2 foot rule. Pervert.

I’ve decided to dumb it downmix it up this week and bring you a quiz based on classic rock questions. For those of you not familiar with classic rock, it’s a genre of music you’ll find on the FM dial where DJ’s that introduce the music will have voices like they just gargled a mixture of fertilizer and battery acid. But enough romanticising about your youth, let’s get on to some classic rock trivia questions:

1) Who brought us the song “Live Wire”?

2) What band gives us the song “Long Cool Woman in a Black Dress”?

3) Which is NOT a Lynyrd Skynyrd song?

4) What band sings “Smoke on the Water”?’

5) What song do these lyrics come from? “I think of you every night and day/You took my heart then you took my pride away”

6) Who is the lead singer of the band Winger?

7) Which song is by Creedence Clearwater Revival?

8) Who sings the song “Ready for Love”?

9) Which is NOT a Bon Jovi song?

10) Who sang “I wanna Rock”?

Man, those are some lame questions, I don’t feel so bad about not linking up the source for them now. Yes, I know, that’s terrible blogging etiquette. But that’s how I rock and or roll, amigo. The Mayor got 8/10 on this quiz, missing out on the Winger and #5. I suppose those questions are impossible, or I would have gotten them right.

Seeing as though there are so many questions today, put down what you can, Idon’t expect anyone to go 10/10, but you never know, Mitchieville is crawling with old farts. Best of luck, and ya, there you go.

MENSA Friday

Friday, March 13th, 2009

The more I look at this picture the less funny it becomes. I’ve looked at it so many times in the last 10 minutes that now it bugs me. It’s not even very creative when it comes right down to it–some broad wrapped 8 babies up in a scarf or something and put on big lips, which I can’t figure out the significance of. I suppose what bugs me about this picture is that the little porker making fun of the octomom is the type of girl I usually see with a gaggle of babies. So, in essence, porker is making fun of herself. Wait, the humour is rushing back. Oh ya, I got it now.

Bravo, porker, nicely played.

Hey, if you’re been leaving comments and they haven’t appeared, or even disappeared, I haven’t been deleting them or messing with them, it seems to be the fault of some outside influence. I’m thinking Wordpress or some blogging God, or James Carville, or some equally treacherous monster with no conscience. Whatever it may be though, fret not, my crack team of outsourced, out-of-country IT professionals should have that fixed up shortly (but don’t hold your breath, if you know what I mean.)

Last Friday, Greg and Steamboat McGoo  came up with the right answers and became Mitchieville’s Smarty Panted Co-Winners of the Week. They weren’t easy questions, but Greg and Steamboat-in the words of Paula Abdul, if I may), made them their own. They overcame, they persevered, they fought and fought until the answers formed in their over-ripe melons. I’m proud of them and so should you be. They are 5 billion times better than the octomom.

Here are today’s MENSA questions:

1) Unscramble the letters in each word below., then unscramble the order of words to create a Tom Swift sentence. (Tom always speaks adverbially.)

ELKA  MOT  PLACDIYL  DISA  I  WGRE  PU  NO  LLYOVE  HTIS

2) Name the capital of each of these U.S. States. Then take a letter from the same position in each word and, without rearranging, read the letters down to get other capital. Be careful!

Oregon

California

Texas

Florida

New York

Everyone is encouraged to play, we’ve actually had some newcomers get involved in this week’s MENSA teaser and that made Steamboat very happy. Even if someone has the correct answers listed in the comment section, put your answers in their anyways, we trust your honesty (personally I don’t, but the lawyers made me type that). Good luck, God speed, and may the force be with you. Nanu nanu.

Friday MindTrap–Cancelled

Monday, January 12th, 2009

**I’ve had this stuck in pending for quite a while now and I’m not sure if I actually posted it or not. I honestly don’t remember posting it, but sniffing glue and drinking windshield washer fluid has pretty much taken away any remaining braincells I have left, so you’ll have to answer this for me: Have I already posted this shit?

Lack of preparation, lack of motivation, and a hangover that would make Don Martin proud, MindTrap Friday has been cancelled this week. Besides, Finn went 3/3 last week and buried you people, so it will take at least a week for those bruises Finn laid out on you to heal.

Who is this Finn character? If he from FINland? Is he half man, half dolPHIN, therefore invoking the FINN part of his moniker? I can’t tell you that, I’m not sure myself. I do know one thing though, Finn is the MindTrap Smarty Panted Winner of the Week, and gets to revel in our adoration for a full 168 hours.

Breathe in that adoration, Finn, that’s some fine smelling stuff.

Since MindTrap is a bust this week, what else is there to do? How about marvel at the picture of the bald, pug-nosed, alcoholic, S & M midget for a while. Ya, it’s hard not to turn away, isn’t it?

MindTrap Friday–New Years Edition

Friday, January 2nd, 2009

Have you checked out the new pair of Air Nike’s Mambusa is sporting? Man, they have those cool open top intake valves for better performance, a sleek new design for better toe comfort, and now they’re made with 40% less plastic, so that’s great for the environment. I won’t lie to you, I’m just a little bit envious.

The last time we played MindTrap was two full weeks ago. I remember two weeks ago well: I had more organs and less children. But that was a different time, a different era. We have all, collectively, moved on. And thank goodness, two weeks ago sucked.

In order to find the questions from the last MindTrap, you can either go into the Mitchievillian archives and search, or simply follow this handy lead which I have provided for you. The answers to those questions are as follows: 1) $14   2) A musician band    3) 15

If you answered those three questions correctly, your name is either Rob Huck or Todd. It is not Steamboat McGoo.

In order to answer the next set of MindTrap questions, you will have to follow me past the jump. Don’t be scared, it’s very well lit in there…

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MindTrap Friday

Friday, December 19th, 2008

Reading between the lines–the old, haggard, busted lines–since I see the word Princess, that must mean there already is either a Prince, or the Princess is waiting for her Prince charming to come calling. That Prince charming, btw, could be you.

If it is you, and you have been selected to be the snuggle bunny to this mound of fun, I suggest you start pounding back the rye and gingers right this second. Even if you don’t meet her until next year, start drinking now. Do not wait another minute, go get blottoed. And another thing, you have exquisite taste in the ladies, your daddy would be proud.

Of the myriad of MindTrap players from last week, only the Godless Commie came away with a perfect record. He correctly guessed that 1) was thick glass, 2) outside back 3) 20.

Sure, the Godless Commie is a Godless Commie, but I have to admit that he is one smart Godless Commie. So smart in fact, that he is Mitchieville’s Smarty Panted Winner of the Week. That and all the five year plans won’t get him into heaven, but I have the feeling that’s the least of his worries.

Congratulations, Godless Commie, mother Russia will be very proud of you.

Let’s have a boo at this week’s MindTrap questions, starting with…

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MindTrap Friday

Friday, December 12th, 2008

I was doing a little Christmas shopping at the Mitchieville Town Center yesterday when I saw Santa come barrelling down the aisle in one of those motorized scooters that seem quite popular with the aged. I always remembered Santa as being spritely and lively and less handi-capable, so it was a bit of a shock to see him hobbled down into a scooter, ho ho ho-ing from a motorized wheelchair. Not that it matters, I don’t care what Santa’s physical form is, just as long as I get that pony I want.

It does make you think though, that if Santa is now handi-Claus, there’s a bunch of things we’re going to have to change in order to accommodate him from now on. For instance, we’re going to have to install a lift in his sleigh, as well as hand peddles and levers. We may have to cut out the back of his sleigh so he has somewhere to put his wheelchair. Which brings us another problem: There’s no way handi-Claus is going to make it down a chimney, so if you want any toys this year, you best be making a wheelchair accessible ramp to your house.

Mobility will be handi-Claus’s enemy this year. A non handied-Claus has trouble getting around to every house as it is, I can hardly imagine how handied-Claus is going to attempt this feat. What we need this year is a miracle. A Christmas miracle.

Let’s get some MindTrap questions into us, and let’s forget about handi-Claus for a bit, if I think too much about him I’ll get depressed:

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