Archive for the ‘mitchieville 2.0’ Category

We’re Nearly There

Wednesday, February 20th, 2013

The comments are still down, the sidebar is a mess, but Fenris and The Mayor are now able to post. Better than nothing, The Mayor supposes.

Without enabled comments, think of Mitchieville as the ultimate in quiet time. Now there is no pressure to leave a comment. What’s that? You never commented in the first place? Wow, aint that something.

The picture above represents what the internet God’s have done to Mitchieville’s face. A perfect analogy, and a pretty amazing post, if The Mayor does say so himself.

Ya ya, no comment.

Mitchieville Health & Safety

Monday, May 28th, 2012

You should always wait at least an hour to go swimming after eating a meal. If you eat a full meal and have a dessert as well, it is best to wait 1.5 hours. If you start off with an appetizer and a cocktail, followed by a main course and a dessert, you should always wait at least 3 hours before going swimming.

Brought to you be Health & Safety Mitchieville. What you do, affects us all.

Mitchieville Speaks

Friday, May 11th, 2012

Former Playboy model Julia Orayen hands out cards to the four Mexican presidential candidates during a televised debate at the  Federal Electoral Institute in this handout still image taken from video, in Mexico City on Sunday. Mexico's electoral authority apologized to voters on Monday after Orayen upstaged the debate.

The following post was suggested to The Mayor by a Mitchievillian reader who has chosen to remain anonymous (his name rhymes with CLorris).

The Mexican Presidential debate took an unexpected turn last Sunday, as all eyes gravitated toward Playboy “model” Julia Orayen, after she made a brief appearance onstage carrying an urn filled with bits of paper determining the order that candidates would speak:

She wore a tight, white dress with a wide, teardrop cut-out that revealed her ample decolletage. The image was splashed across newspaper front pages and websites by Monday.

“The best was the girl in white with the cleavage at the beginning,” tweeted former Mexican Foreign Minister Jorge Castaneda, who is also a New York University professor.

“Anonymous” suggested to The Mayor that he conduct a poll to determine if the average guy would rather:

A: ogle the cleavage on a beautiful woman or,

B: listen to a Presidential candidate tell lies for hours on end.

Being a man of the peoples, The Mayor brings this important and timely question to you, the constituents of Mitchieville. The Mayor also asks for a brief reason why you chose A or B as your answer.

Mitchieville Number One

Wednesday, March 21st, 2012

Indeed, doing a Google search on Great Red Corporation gets you a number one spot for Mitchieville. It brings up the post titled Big Red Corporation, but that is on Google, not me. You can blame them, much as you can blame the camera for this somewhat shaky picture. Do not consider context. Speaking of context, is that a mans wedding ring worn around the neck of Sonjia DeSade here? That ring must have a deep emotional meaning; either that or it is a powerful amulet with strange powers. Maybe the amulet is affecting the picture, kinda like Googl’ng Great gets you Big.

Welcome To Mitchieville

Wednesday, July 28th, 2010

May Live to See

Toronto is nearly identical to this, except where you see four underground levels, replace that with where the fish-people and mentally ill are housed; where you see the schools, offices and living quarters on the right, replace that with cheap, overly-priced crap condos; and where you see the aircraft landing fields at the back, replace that with the Buddies In Bad Times Gay Theatre Troupe.

Other than that though, spitting image.

**Ka-Ching!

Balloon Dog

Saturday, May 22nd, 2010

How is Balloon Dog being suspended in mid air like that? Through the magic of , well, ahhhh, magic, of course. Magic and helium. Magic, helium and small incisions into the dogs head, back and paws where trick wire is specifically placed causing the dog to be elevated. But mostly magic. And helium.

This is one of four pictures The Mayor currently has saved on his computer. Today is a new day. Mitchieville 2.7 is here.

Mitchieville Is Under Repair

Friday, May 21st, 2010

Remind The Mayor to shoot his outsourced, offshore IT Team in the face.

Mitchieville has been attacked (I suppose), and all information stored on The Mayor’s computer has been wiped out. Vanished. Like the gold in Fort Knox.

2500 pictures, 500 bookmarks, etc. Gone.

So, I’m taking today off to kick animals get my head together. I may be back later to post something, but for now I’m just going to stew in my juices for a spell.

Tasteless & Offensive? Why Thank You!

Monday, April 12th, 2010

The Classical Liberal was at a hospital in cheesehead country last week and when he tried to access Mitchieville, this is what he got.

I’ll be perfectly honest with you, this really upsets The Mayor. I try to run a classy operation around here. If you care to notice, I’ve really cut down on the swearing in the last few years, I’ve stayed away from overt sexual references, stopped posting (mostly) semi-clad women, and have really given this place a makeover. And then I get this? Wow, that hurts down deep.

Tasteless & offensive? Man, I don’t have a clue where they got that from.

Anyway, come back to Mitchieville later tonight for another segment of I Can See Your Pee Pee.

Mitchieville – now with 75% more pee pee!

**Click for larger image (something you can’t do on Andy’s site)

Mitchieville 2.1 Update

Monday, January 18th, 2010

header_winter_2009

I have received quite a few emails lately from concerned citizens, wondering why Mitchieville has been running so poorly. Keep in mind, those concerned citizens weren’t saying that the quality of our writing has gone down, or that the entertainment factor has been blowing whilst sucking at the same time, but rather, why it’s taking so long for Mitchieville to load, why Mitchieville is down for stretches at a time, and blah blah blah, something something something, sorry, I wasn’t listening.

I have two words for all the concerned denizens of Mitchieville: Flux capacitor.

Sure, the good folks (and they really are good) at Media Temple (the joint that hosts Mitchieville), said Mitchieville is timing out and effing up because of something called the *GridContainer *, and to remedy the problem I must purchase a new MySQL GridContainer, but in my heart I know Mitchieville wasn’t running well because the on/off switch on the flux capacitor was stuck.

According to Media Temple reps, Mitchieville was getting too darn busy and needed some special attention. You see, when Mitchieville switched over to Media Temple about 9 months ago, we had about 600-800 visitors a day. 6 months after signing up to Media Temple, Mitchieville was up to about 2500-3000 visitors a day. And that’s when the problem started.

I guess what I’m saying is that Mitchieville is getting too busy, and I would appreciate it if you folks wouldn’t come here as much any more. Instead of coming here once or twice a day, why not show up once a month, or even once every six months. It’s better that way.

I’m not lying when I say this newest expense has completely devastated the operating budget of Mitchieville for 2010. Put it this way: If Obama is trashing America to the tune of $1.7 trillion dollars in debt for 2010, in scale, Mitchieville makes him look like a piker.

Mo money mo money mo money. If that’s what it takes to put a smile on your face, bring you top-notch entertainment every day, and make your tingly spots tingle, then by George, it’s completely worth it to me.

My promise to you is this: I will go broke trying to make you happy. I do not care.

Send Fenris money.

It’s A Gold Medal Day For Mitchieville

Saturday, January 2nd, 2010

gold-medal

I know this will come as a surprise to some of you, but it’s not every day that Mitchieville is bestowed medals or awards for the significant work we do here. I know that every one of you are shaking your head saying that cannot possibly be true, that The Mayor must have a closet full of citations, medals, awards and trophies considering the incredible posts that are churned out here on a daily basis.

Surprisingly, I do not.

But today I was informed that Mitchieville has risen to the #1 spot in a category so special, so unique, so exclusive, that even the biggest and most popular websites vie for it, but only a few select few will ever reach this pinnacle. Well, Mitchieville HAS reached this pinnacle, and we couldn’t be happier.

I would like to thank all the contributors to Mitchieville who made this dubious honour possible. I would like to thank all of our readers who have stood by us throughout the many years we have been up and running. I would like to thank our Lord and saviour for shining his loving light upon us. But mostly, I would like to thank me.

Man, I am SO nervous right now that my hands are shaking.

We.Are.The.Champions.Of.The.World.

Gold medal sticker courtesy of Zazzle

Happy Birthday To My Daughter Clare, Happy Anniversary To Mitchieville, Happy New Year, Etc…

Thursday, December 31st, 2009

stripping

There are a lot of things to be happy about today. First and foremost, Happy Birthday to my baby daughter Clare. She is one year old today, officially at 11.33 pm. She has brought so much joy and happiness into the lives of TLDG and me that I can’t even state it in words. She is beautiful in every aspect. She is perfect. We love her so much.

Happy Anniversary to Mitchieville! Mitchieville turns 5 today, and to mark this momentous occasion, Fenris is issuing a purple privilege to all resident Mitchievillian’s. And you know what that means? It means that you are entitled to an extra large okra milkshake and a small tofu pizza, available at your government-run helping Hands Food Bank & Peoples Shelter.

It’s hard to believe that we started this endeavor five years ago. Between the gang at Mitchieville, we have put together just under 8000 posts, have received over 27000 comments and have have gotten no less than 40 death threats. To be honest, I thought there would be more death threats.

I would like to thank all the contributors at Mitchieville – Fenris, Rocky, Mike, Raph, Kate, and everyone that sends The Mayor articles, cartoons, and various other nonsense. You folks are fantastic, extraordinary, and quite possible delicious.

I would also like to thank our wonderful readership for showing up, making comments and driving this blog. Without your comments, without your emails and support, Mitchieville would have folded up long ago, I guarantee you that. But you guys show up every day and always put a smile on The Mayor’s face. In the New Year, I’m going to try to make it a resolution to make more comments on Mitchieville. Trust me, I read EVERY comment and I LOVE them, I really do, but sometimes time is a killer and I don’t get to comment on things I should. Anyway, once again, thanks for making this worthwhile, I really love you folks.

Happy New Year!! Those of us here at Mitchieville wish you and your loved ones a new year filled with peace and love. We wish you health and happiness and all the blessings of the Lord. We have a pretty tight and great group here at Mitchieville, I often say to TLDG that we are one giant, dysfunctional family, and I have really become close, sometimes only in spirit, with many of you. You guys mean the world to me. This does not mean that I will ever lend you money.

The Mayor xoxo

It’s Okay, I’m Back

Saturday, December 19th, 2009

ADDITION North Coast Toppled Crane

Sorry for the lack of posting lately, but I was called out of town Thursday and just got back this afternoon. Relax, everything is alright, everyone is good, I just had to tie up a few loose ends on something I was working on/with.

I intend on posting this weekend, but for now I’m going to go have a nap and try to drain a few litres of this airplane booze out of my system. Airplane booze isn’t like regular booze, it’s like 8x stronger. Like Starbucks coffee compared to any other coffee. Ya, that  type of serious.