Archive for the ‘Mitchieville Election 2007’ Category

Election Mitchieville

Thursday, September 15th, 2011

As you are all aware by now, Mitchieville’s general election has been scheduled for October 6, 2011. The Mayor would like to start off by apologizing to his fellow Mitchievillian’s for not declaring that he would be running for re-election sooner, but he was very busy the last 3 week’s helping to build an orphanage in lower Mitchieville. The Mayor always thinks of the children first, after all, children are our future.

It looks as though there will be a full slate of candidates running for Mayor of Mitchieville this election cycle, and The Mayor couldn’t be happier. This is proof positive that Democracy and the love of Mitchieville is foremost in everyones mind. To all the candidates, The Mayor wishes you well.

The Mayor would like to ask all the candidates a favour though – let’s stick to the issues this election, let’s not get into heated rhetoric and personal attacks, the constituency of Mitchieville  deserves better. The constituents of Mitchieville DEMAND more.

Heated rhetoric and personal attacks benefit no one. It doesn’t matter what your past looks like, it only matters what your future looks like. For instance, what difference does it make that Cudgel was involved in a ponzi scheme that centered around frauding the Muscular Dystrophy Association when he was 26? It doesn’t make any difference, at least not in the eyes of The Mayor. Or does it really matter that rumours abound that Mockingbird likes to dress in potato sacks, visit local libraries around town and give Red Bull drinks to pre-schoolers? Not at all, it matters not at all. It doesn’t even matter that Marc in Calgary® has been treated at walk-in clinics for an Elmer’s glue addiction (sniffy sniffy). And if that doesn’t matter, it certainly doesn’t matter that Maximus Thrax hasn’t paid taxes on his luxury cottage in northern Mitchieville for close to 30 years. And if all that doesn’t matter, why would it matter that Pizzamancer was the Grand Kleagle for the Black Panthers between 1994 – 1997? It doesn’t matter, that’s the answer.

What matters is our vision for Mitchieville going forward.

And going forward, The Mayor will release his 28 points of light. 28 ideas for a better Mitchieville. And that is exciting. VERY exciting. The Mayor is also sure the other candidates have plenty of ideas as well, and can hardly wait to hear what those ideas are. Sure, no ideas have been brought forward to date, but The Mayor is confident they will be brought forward soon. The Mayor has been told by Fenris not to hold his breath, but let’s face it, anything is possible.

Again – good luck to all the candidates, may we keep this election free from heated rhetoric and personal attacks.

Election Mitchieville

Tuesday, December 7th, 2010

We seem to have elections in Mitchieville every time there is an election. The Mayor, up to now, always wins. Lisa is the usual runner up, and has even won on from time to time.

On the eve of the Mitchieville democratic election, Fenris has announced a coup, claiming the backing of the Senate. I think not. Note the Senate is outnumbered by cabinet ministers and backbenchers seeking promotion. The will of the people is not to be abused lightly and Fenris is about to face the wrath of the other candidate’s minions who have so generously donated their time and money to fairness and change. Eating mush is not on their agenda.

Stand up for change. Resist collective autonomy enforced by tyranny. Vote Lisa for Mayor of Mitchieville on October 14th. Vote often and earnestly. If necessary, a lift to the polling booth in a bulletproof armored vehicle is available.

Mitchieville 2008 Election – Reg’s Hope For Change

Tuesday, September 2nd, 2008

After weighing the pro’s and con’s of the various contenders for the office  ‘Mayor of Mitchieville’ I have hastily made my choice.  I, Reg Reginaldson, Minister of Munitions, Textiles As It Pertains To Munitions Production, and Mitchieville Keg Restaurant Franchise Holder, hereby endorse LISA FOGGY for Mayor of Mitchieville.

I’m sure long time readers of Mitchieville will be shocked by this endorsement. Lisa and I have been battling on this sacred and hallowed blog for nearly 2 years now. Despite her cruel comments a couple months back about the reason for my current lack of female company in my life, I have chosen to forgive.  Forgiving is what good people do. I have come to realize that a woman as skilled as Lisa can give a man like myself that one thing The Mayor and Fenris never could: cooking lessons. 

Indeed, Lisa knows that her place is in her kitchen.  Lisa is a woman who can cook, and that my friends is proof of her solid anti-feminist social conservative credentials.  I  made a point of vetting her various blogs for almost 3 minutes tonight and with that exhaustive research complete I feel I can say that I feel the same way that Lisa feels or claims to feel with regards to the important issues facing Mitchieville in the one or two posts I actually bothered to read.  These clear and well defined policies of Lisa Foggy bodes well for the future of Mitchieville.

My Pro-Lisa Choice decision is more than about than pure policy though. Lisa is the senior blogger at The London Fog, and as such Lisa has been in command of the Home Guard there for the past 2 years now!  Let us not forget that London shares a border with Mitchieville’s mortal enemy – Fostertown – which of course means that Lisa is an expert dealing with defence issues.  What about foreign affairs you say?  Lisa is an expert at cooking African, Indian, Thai, Turkish, Greek, Mexican and Eastern European food.  With this kind of extensive international cooking experience Lisa shouldn’t be running for mayor, she should be running for leader of the free world!

I’ve only met Lisa in person twice, but I have a gut instinct that LISA FOGGY is the right woman for the job.  Sure I actually chat with LINDS a couple times a week, and comment regularly at Ice Princess, but my gut says Lisa.  I should add that Lisa’s husband, Mapmaster, a champion cartographer, is as handsome as he is handy.  And their pet cats, Cooter, Rosco, Enos, and Cletus, are well loved and I’m pretty sure all have either been spayed or neutered lest there be any kittens born during what would already be a stressful campaign.  I feel I can say with 1000% confidence that Lisa Foggy is the best choice for Mayor of Mitchieville.

Know that Service Hopes First for Change, VOTE LISA FOGGY on October 14!

Overthrow the Mayor!

Tuesday, September 2nd, 2008

The election laws in Mitchieville are clear and direct. Whenever there is a provincial or federal election, there is an election in Mitchieville. Now that Harper has thrown down the federal gauntlet, the same happens here!

Are you not tired of the same old same old rule of Mayor Mitch and his gang of cronies? He only won by one vote last time. He is tired. He is distracted by romance. He has no hair. Who needs reasons when there are emotionally charged innuendo?

Whose hands would you have searching your pockets? The answer is Fenris Badwulf.

Whose cronies would you have replace the current lot? The answer is Fenris Badwulf.

Whose ink do you want on the cheques written by a strong central authority? The answer is Fenris Badwulf.

Who would lead a better collectivist organization? The answer is Fenris Badwulf.

Endorsements for Fenris Badwulf: ‘There can only be one head for the octopus, although it has eight arms’ Emperor Shang, industrialist and inventor of the Remote Control Punishment Taser.

Secret Societies for Fenris Badwulf: In addition to our good works in expediting human organ transplants, The Brotherhood of the Steel Rat supports Brother Fenris Badwulf for Mayor of Mitchieville. Hurrah!

Working man on the street supports Fenris Badwulf: I have never worked for Fenris as a telemarketer. He is my personal choice and would make the best Mayor. Overthrow Mayor Mitch, who has no hair!

The campaign has begun. What has Mayor Mitch done lately? Is he asleep at the wheel? Are You, the People of Mitchieville being looked after?

I, Fenris Badwulf, candidate for Mayor of Mitchieville, wrote this

Dalai Lama Endorses Mitch For Mayor

Monday, October 29th, 2007

In the subtle world of internationally diplomacy the Dalai Lama, Nobel Laureate and revered spiritual leader, has spoke out in strong support of Mitchieville’s ex-mayor, our beloved Mitch. Noting the motto for Mitchieville is “Think Globally, Act Locally, and Demand Handouts”, the Dalai Lama encouraged Canadians to ‘think globally’ within hours of arriving in Ottawa yesterday. International diplomats are stunned by this unprecedented foray into Canadian municipal politics by a world leader.

Representatives from the Lisa Campaign were unavailable for comment, though off the record a buff and chiseled black gentleman who went by the name ‘XX’ conceded that Lisa’s short tenure as mayor had been an “abject failure that has earned the scorn of the international community”. As of 5pm this evening reporters from Dublin, Ireland confirmed that U2’s planned ‘Concert Against Lisa’ was still in the works, but may be shelved if Lisa was to endorse Mitch. Bono was quotted as saying “Lisa’s reign of tyranny and hopeless oppression must end so that I can plan another useless concert for some other lost cause somewhere else in the world”, he then added, “I think if U2 was to have an anti-oil sands concert in Fort McMurray this January we could get 250,000 people to attend”. Bono then broke down and cried.

Today is a good day for the oppressed

Saturday, October 20th, 2007

Fenris’ Zombies failed to take control of Mitchieville City Hall this evening thanks to the quick response of the Mitchieville Fire Department and YY’s crew. Live footage here:

Meet the new boss…

Wednesday, October 17th, 2007

The people have spoken and Fenris Badwulf is now the new Mayor of Mitchieville (soon to be renamed Fenrisville). Realizing way too late that I was backing the wrong horse I will now do what public servants do best – kiss ass.

Fenris Badwulf is a man of the people. His prune mush has nourished the less fortunate souls of Mitchieville (soon to be renamed Fenrisville). His devotion to Set, The Snake God, has provided a spiritual example for us all. He provides shelter and canned salmon to our homeless raccoon Canadians. Fenris cares. Most importantly of all:

Fenris Badwulf is mighty!

This post is offered as my tribute to the greatness that is Fenris Badwulf. All hail Fenrisville!

An important news bulletin from Mitchieville Local News

Tuesday, October 16th, 2007

Martial law has been declared on the streets of Mitchieville tonight by Mayor Lisa after she learned that the minions entrusted with the recount were not only drunk but related to and/or employed by Fenris Badwulf. These conditions nullify the agreement to abide by the recount. Until the next recount, Lisa has announced she will remain the first popularly elected Mayor in Mitchieville’s history. City hall is presently surrounded by SUVs and fire hoses and friends of YY have just entered the building to escort Mitch and Fenris out.

We now join Lisa for a live proclamation of her power over the people:

Dearest Mitchievillians. Since my election to the honoured post of Mayor of Mitchieville, I have been working tirelessly to sort out the mess that Mitch has left behind him for you, the taxpayer. Now that I have access to confidential budget and expense files that the former mayor did not have time to destroy before my people took control of City Hall, I’m uncovering the specifics of Mitch’s shocking abuse of your money.

The important business of managing your involuntary contributions was interrupted this evening by a corrupt recount of your voluntary votes. In order to set the natural course of events in order, I deem it necessary to impose martial law on the collective until such time as an agreeable consensus can be reached.

Thanks and you’re welcome

Sunday, October 14th, 2007

I emerge from my underground chambers with a strong army of justified rebels following behind. There can be only one Mayor of Mitchieville – not three all at the same time. The people have spoken and they, together with the them, and the we, will fight against Family Day because it discriminates against the individual proletariat.

I promise you that a recount of last week’s victory ballots reaffirms the values of our democratic system of systematic manoeuvering.

Lisa Counts. Do you have enough fingers and toes to keep up to the algorithm?

All By Myself…

Saturday, October 13th, 2007

I’m so hurt and lost now that Mitch is no longer Mayor of Mitchieville. I’ve wanted to tell him how much he means to me, this song pretty well sums up how I feel. I love you Mitch. You will always be my Mayor.

Posted by mayorluver69 for Mitch cause he’s dreamy

Congratulations to Me, Fenris Badwulf!

Friday, October 12th, 2007

Yes, as you have diversely both dreaded and slavered for, Fenris Badwulf is now Mayor of Mitchieville. This is Good News!

If you are reading this, you have not been arrested. This is good! You are not considered enough of a threat to The Fenrisite Collective (typified by the silver wolf upon a black diamond slab ring wore by cadre) to have been taken away to be recycled. You have been sorted, and found suitable for your present station.

Get up and go to work tomorrow! is this weeks workers happy slogan. Say it to yourself when you get up early in the morning to do volunteer work at the immigrants work pit. Happy workers! Dance a jig as you rush to work!

Be happy at the fate of The Divine Mayor, Mitch the Mayor. Yes, he resides at the Elysium Spa and Motel. He returns to you, improved with the latest medical secrets from a crashed UFO. Do not underestimate his new powers, foolish mortals.

Lisa soon came to be known as ‘Ma Barker’ amongst the staff here at Secret Supreme Headquarters. She is a master of inciting street violence using a text messanger. The Markham massacre was her work.

Impress me with your eagerness to make your quota early. There are rewards for those who go to work sick. Go and barf on your oppressors. Onward, happy workers, to your rowing bench, to work for the good of the collective.

Stalinism is the rule of the Steel Plant Factory Union Boss. Otherwise, Communism is rule by the Post Office Administration Apparatus. You may be relieved to know that your new existance is under my vision of rule by a Telemarketing Manager.

Pushtwo Quickie, wrote this down while fearing the flashing gilded, steel boot of Fenris Badwulf, Mayor of Mitchieville.

Before my posting privlages are revoked….

Thursday, October 11th, 2007

The YouTube post below has become the Chocolate Rain of October. Posted only a few days ago the clip has already had 475 000+ hits. In this clip we see a hot little Norwegian number try the “Ali G” thing on New York City Councillor James Oddo till the good councillor catches on. Consider this your F-bomb warning.

This clip could also be an example of how recklessly women use power. Women lying to get what they want would never happen in Mitchieville though. Or would it?