When The Mayor chose American Beauty as last week’s mystery movie, he honestly thought there wouldn’t be anyone able to guess it, especially considering the lack of decent clues he gave his constituents. But nay and ahk, Rhebner, MikeG81, Wolfie, Mr Fnortner and D Morris all guessed American Beauty. And that angrily surprised The Mayor. Not pleasantly surprised him, but angrily surprised him. The Mayor has a tendency to get angry over the smallest things, and when you successfully guess the mystery movie that he tried so hard to stump you on, well, that’s one thing that makes him go nutty.
This is a different week though. And The Mayor knows it’s a different week by the markings on his calendar. And with a different week comes a different mystery movie. That’s how it works around here. Unless The Mayor is busy. Then nothing works around here.
Today’s mystery movie was directed by Ron Howard (the cute little shit on that Andy of Mayberry show back in 19 dickety doo), written by George Lucas (rhymes with mucus), and stars such notables as Val Kilmer, Joanne Whalley, and Warwick Davis (and Billy Barty – can’t forget the Billy Barty).
Here is a brief description of this movie, brought to you by people that speak in short sentences:
A reluctant dwarf must play a critical role in protecting a special baby from an evil queen.
The Mayor clearly remembers not wanting to see this movie when it came out in 1988. He dreaded seeing it. The Mayor’s angry, bitter troll of a girlfriend at the time talked The Mayor into seeing this flick. The Mayor thought it was going to be a movie about “feelings” and such, and when he heard there were midgets involved in the movie, that made his decision final.
But a strange thing happened on the way to the theatre. The Mayor’s friend phoned him and said that he just saw this movie. He told The Mayor that it had a low suckability factor, and that if I saw it I would be pleasantly surprised.
“But what about the midgets? The Mayor inquired.
“You really have to get over the whole midget thing” he said.
“But they have tiny arms and enormous heads!” The Mayor exclaimed.
“Seriously, you have to get over it, they’re humans for crying out loud.”
And even though The Mayor never did get over his fear of midgets, he did see this movie and enjoyed it.
True story. Tell your friends.
What movie is this?