Archive for the ‘Monster Breasts’ Category

Health Nut VS Chick With Large Breasts

Wednesday, January 9th, 2013

And in that competition, we all know who wins out every time.

If you think the picture of Gillian McKeith is exaggerated in any way, please refer to this picture as confirmation that the original picture can indeed be confirmed.

As for Nigella Lawson, if you think her picture is exaggerated in any way (for the better, that is), please refer to this picture as confirmation that the original picture can indeed be confirmed.

Now don’t get The Mayor wrong, Nigella Lawson isn’t exactly a prize pig. But compared to Gillian McKeith, well, soooo weeeeee. Besides, it’s always best to look at it this way – if you had a choice as to who was going to prepare and bring you a sammich when you’re wasted, who would you choose: a health guru, or, a chick with large breasts?

Check and mate. Bitchinado’s.

Moaning Lisa

Friday, October 5th, 2012

Thank you, internets.

Looking at that beautiful picture above, reminded The Mayor of the old Nat King Cole song, Mona Lisa. The Mayor believes it went a little sumpin’ sumpin like this…

Moaning Lisa, Moaning Lisa, men have named you

Your breasts are enormous and powerful, and smaller chested women are simply embarrassed being around someone like you that has obvious enormous assets.

Moaning Lisa, Moaning Lisa, why don’t you lift up your shirt and let me take a boo at those funbags?

I promise not to take a picture of them and post them on Pinterest…

Moaning Lisa, Moaning Lisa, you’re dumb as Obama in a debate…

But I prefer you that way because I don’t have to listen to you drone on and on about stupid things that are totally soul destroying and boring as watching Red Fisher at the Scuttlebut Lodge on early Saturday morning programming…

Moaning Lisa, Moaning Lisa, let’s get back to those most-impressive breasticles you sport underneath your slutty belly shirt,

The things I would do to you a farm boy wouldn’t do to a freaking goat….

Moaning Lisa, Moaning Lisa, how I wish you were homeless,

Because if you were, after I finish punishing you for your sins, I would drop you off anywhere I damn well please…

Moaning Lisa, Moaning Lisa, pull my finger…

I can’t believe you didn’t see that coming, man, you’re dumb, let’s have a look at your breasts again…

Moaning Lisa, Moaning Lisa, you have a face like a pot roast,

And although we’ve been *dating* for 6 months I never ever noticed your face until this exact minute. Damn, you are ugly….

What a beautiful song, the lyrics are forever. And so are you, at least in The Mayor’s heart.

Emily Scott – Hump Day Hottie

Wednesday, June 8th, 2011

The Mayor would like to clarify that the lack of posting around these parts has nothing to do with The Mayor’s health – he is still alive. Regular posting will resume this afternoon (Wednesday), and continue on forever.

In the meantime, here’s some broad with big cans (that should keep you amused until The Mayor gets back to The Manor).

You can still have a meaningful career and fabulous boobs!

Thursday, June 18th, 2009

full_of_incentives

Why is it so surprising that workers are attracted to incentives? Retaining and getting new hires for difficult trades is totally intuitive, and you have to explain it to people in a frustrating manner.

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Sheyla Hershey–Texas Big

Tuesday, February 3rd, 2009

Some little girls dream about being ballerinas, some dream about being singers. Sheyla Hershey, her dreams included being filled with silicon and having breasts so big that they are actually a threat to her health:

SHEYLA Hershey’s massive 38KKK breasts have been declared the world’s biggest boob job.

The 28-year-old American housewife and model has undergone nine ops to get her amazing figure.

And even though medics have warned that her breasts are in danger of exploding, she does not seem to care.

Sheyla, from Houston, Texas, said: “To me, big is beautiful. I don’t think I have anything to worry about.”

She had to go to Brazil for her last op after US doctors refused to carry out any more surgery on her Now Sheyla is in the record books for having the largest breast implants ever.

Her British ex-boyfriend started paying for her plastic surgery, but she left him after he begged her to stop.

She said: “I loved him very much but I had to leave him to follow my dream.”

Always follow your dreams. Even if your dreams include being filled with toxic sludge and having so much of it in your body that you are actually declared a health hazard by the medical community. Follow you dreams, even if it means that you become a freak of nature, someone who is ridiculed, scorned and laughed at, someone who will never be taken seriously. Follow your dreams, because if you are an attention whore with no discernible talents or capabilities, getting ridiculous breast enlargements may be the only way to get a man to create a FaceBook page dedicated to you and only you.

I have a dream…

Melons Crushing Melons

Saturday, January 10th, 2009

Shauna Sands Files Restraining Order Against Romain Chavent

Saturday, December 13th, 2008

 

Former Playboy Playmate, Shauna Sands, has filed a restraining order against husband Romain Chavent, claiming he hit her in the breasts, which she just had constructive surgery on. This is the second restraining order Shauna has had placed on Chavent, the first was due to this:

Shauna claims that in March this year, Chavent punched her in the stomach and threw her into a wall. She was granted a restraining order in 2007 when she claimed that he strangled, punched, and threw her across the room. Sand had the Temporary Restraining Order dismissed because “he promised to change.”

 He did change in the sense that he’s avoiding the strangling and throwing, unfortunately now he’s working on the breast hitting.

That’s not the reason for this article though, and it’s also not because it gives me an opportunity to showcase a fake blond with a monster rack, it was what Sands claims is another reason she wants a restraining order on Chavent:

 Shauna also maintains that Chavent once threatened to sell nude pictures of her children (from her marriage to Lamas)  that he took while he babysat them.

Huh? Is she claiming Chavent took nude photos of her kids while he babysat them? I’m not sure how the law works in Hollywood, but up here in Mitchieville, that’s not only a crime, that’s a crime with a severe prison beating. I would say that Hollywood police should probably look into that claim. Now I know Hollywood cops are probably very busy letting Hollywood *stars* off the hook for drug offences and drinking and driving, but something like this is worth looking into. Naked children, man with camera, babysitting–yup, that’s seems serious.

Sands of the hourglass

Friday’s Bigguns (posted on Saturday)

Saturday, November 8th, 2008

 

River Rat saw Wednesday’s bigguns and then called me a pig for posting it. However, being called a pig is just a codeword that actually means I am doing a suberb job and he thanks me for posting such esquisite pictures.

Men talk in codewords all the time. For instance: Hot can mean cool and cool can mean hot. See? So, being called a pig is a great compliment. Man, you assholes should know that. BTW, assholes is a compliment, but you already know that.

Thursday’s Bigguns

Thursday, November 6th, 2008

Seeing this picture reminds me of two things: I have to pay my water bill tomorrow, and I must remember to buy a couple bags of milk.

Tuesday’s Election Bigguns

Tuesday, November 4th, 2008

Folks, even if the messiah pulls it out tonight, life will go on. Remember the old canard that what doesn’t kill us makes us stronger. And if the messiah does win, we shall all be Herculian.

Sarah Burge Has Spent $1.4 Million To Look Like Barbie

Wednesday, October 29th, 2008

 

After being beaten up and left for dead when she was a teen, Sarah Burge started her journey into the world of cosmetic and reconstructive surgery. Her goal was to look like Barbie. After more than 100 surgeries and a whopping $1.4 million later, this is the end result (not that she wants to stop having even more surgery)

The half-million pound costs include: £32,000 have her whole face lasered to remove a layer of skin to give it a more youthful look; £26,500 on perfecting her bust – including having it reduced and the nipples moved; £30,000 keeping her jawline firm; nearly £15,000 on her tummy; and £14,000 on keeping her bottom pert.

‘It’s addictive – you find yourself wondering what you can have done next? It’s not that I’m unhappy with the way I look – I’ve always been confident about my appearance.

‘That’s why I want to keep my body and face as they are. All the work I’ve had done has been to stop the ageing.’

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Donna Jones Has The Biggest Boobs In England

Thursday, October 23rd, 2008

And you thought the labour party had the biggest boobs in England–rimshot!

You would think that having the biggest boobs in Britain would be as much fun as owning a liquor store, or having midgets as slaves, but according to Donna Jones, that couldn’t be further from the truth:

26 year old Donna Jones has the biggest natural breasts in the UK – taking over from 32JJ record holder Rachel Aldana. Each breast weighs about the same as two average-size babies.

She suffers from backache and hasn’t had a decent night’s sleep for years. She didn’t dare to breastfeed her three-year-old son Kyle when he was a baby, fearing she would suffocated him.

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