Archive for the ‘Moobs’ Category

Moobs

Friday, January 20th, 2012

Knock The Mayor over with a feather, but he never knew until he saw this picture just how chiseled Bawney Fwank actually was. And good looking. No wonder the citizens of Massachusetts’s 4th congressional district keep voting this fashion statement back into office.

Say, is it cold in here, or is it just Bawney Fwank?

Moobs

Thursday, December 22nd, 2011

For those of you not familiar with moobs, The Mayor would like to point you in the direction of Mitchieville’s search engine. From there, type the word “moobs’ into the internal search engine, and prepare to be amazed. Prepare to be dazzled. Prepare to make all your wildest fantasies come true. Oh yes, it’s that great.

Today’s moobie has taken moobs to an entirely new level not seen before on these glorious pages. A belly-shirted moobie. Couple that with the demand that buddy “Want Woman”, and you have yourself possibly one of the most sought after single men in North Dakota. Heck, even South Dakota. If there was an East or West Dakota, he’d be the shit there as well. Pick a Dakota and watch our large moobed friend fly. Fly to the sky. Like a diamond in your eye. Now join The Mayor for a drink, you lounge lizard. You pay.

Moobs Week

Tuesday, November 2nd, 2010

If I hear one more idiot pundit declare that the Republicans didn’t do as well as they were expecting, The Mayor is going to start wasting hostages.

60 seats!

7 in the senate?

Hey, there’s a dude in a skirt with erect nips!

Moobs Week

Monday, November 1st, 2010

It’s hard to believe, but it’s been over a year since The Mayor last posted Moobs Week. Yup, hard to believe. Who woulda thunk it? So many moobs, so little time.

The Mayor figures that election week is one of the more stressful weeks of the year. And what better way to de-stress than with a week full of large tittied dudes? There is no better way, that wasn’t a question as much as it was a statement.

This picture saddens The Mayor. It is sad on many different levels. No matter what level you’re on, this is sad. Funny though. Funny and sad. All at the same time. Wow, talk about emotions gone wild.

Moobs Week

Friday, June 25th, 2010

Hahaha, the Mayor doesn’t know what he finds funnier: the size of those moobs, or that girlie top buddy’s wearing.

I bet all the guys make fun of him when he strips down to take a shower at the gym. LULZ -Loooooozer!

Moobs Week – Thursday Edition (On Friday)

Friday, June 25th, 2010

The Mayor couldn’t post up Moobs Week or Green Shoots & Leaves last night because TLDG and I were at my youngest legitimate sons grade 8 graduation. However, I would like to thank those that sent me angry emails demanding to know why I hadn’t posted Green Shoots yet, and “what the hell is going on?”

Your anger proves how much you care, and that touches The Mayor in places where The Mayor doesn’t get touched very often. I promise to make a more concerted effort from here on in to completely ignore the lives of my family and concentrate on getting Green Shoots & Leaves out to you in a more timely fashion.

The Asian in the picture (or is he an Oriental? Hmmm…) has the largest moobs in the world. Imagine, he’s the world record holder for having the largest moobs. And to think his family said he would never amount to anything. Funnily enough, his large moobs seem to be causing some sort of problem for him, as explained in this rather lengthy, but funny news article.

Buddy in the picture, let’s just call him Titti Sou Big, is a poor farmer and is complaining to doctors that his new-found package is causing him mental and physical discomfort. If Titti Sou Big would just push his enormous breasts away from his eyes, he would be able to see that his massive breastuals are money in the bank. Titti Sou Big could charge admission to see his hooters; he could join a freak show/circus and really rake in the dough. If he became a porn star he would be awash in yuan.

But no, Titti prefers instead to bitch and moan. He’s letting doctors – like in the picture – touch his melons, yet he receives no recompense. And I’m not even sure what “recompense” means, but I think it means money. To think, if Titti grabbed that doctors breasts, he would be charged and most likely thrown down a giant hole into a pit of vipers, yet, the female doctor in the picture is grabbing him like she’s testing the freshness of a cantaloupe. Where’s the justice?

Titti – when life gives you eggs, you make egg rolls. That’s what The Mayor always says. Yes, The Mayor ALWAYS says that. You can Google it, sweetheart, it’s all on record.

Moobs Week

Wednesday, June 23rd, 2010

Celebrity moobs. The Mayor pondered whether or not he should post celebrity moobs, but then I figured, why the hell not? I mean, what difference does it make? Why did I even waste time pondering it, I pondered? So then I went right ahead and posted Jack moobs. And I’m glad I did.

True story.

For a split second after I saw this picture I actually felt sorry for Jack. But then it dawned on me that Jack is sitting in a yacht, probably 10 miles off shore from some amazing resort, kicking back, eating a sub and taking in some rays. Plus he’s worth about $400 million bucks. So ya, my sorry went to jealousy, then to hatred. And that’s where I currently stand – at hatred.

Man, The Mayor could sure use a sub right now.

To all Buffalonian Mitchievillian’s – what’s the difference between a hogie and a sub sandwich?

Moobs Week

Tuesday, June 22nd, 2010

He’s a hunka hunka burnin’ moob meat, he is.

There are quite a few things wrong with this picture, but I’m thinking the top two revolve around that rooster and those red underpants Elvis is sporting. As for the moobs? Funny enough, but they are among the least disturbing things in this picture.

May God (any God but the Christian God) have mercy on our collective souls.

Moobs Week

Monday, June 21st, 2010

I’m hesitant to use this picture tonight as I know there is not a chance in hell I will be able to come up with a better one for the rest of the week. The proverbial wad has been blown.

The Mayor expects a certain number of Mitchievillian’s to leave comments such as “that is gross”, and “why are you doing this, Mayor, make it stop”, etc, etc. Yet, these same comment-makers have been staring at buddy’s ample bosom for more than 10 minutes now. That’s hard to explain.

Welcome to Moobs Week. I have a feeling I may not see some of you ever again.