Archive for the ‘Mugshot of the Week’ Category

Mugshot Of The Weak

Friday, June 1st, 2012

Leonard Dewayne White

Of The Weak….that’s great.

Well, it looks as if the po po arrested Dirty Leonard again:

A 65-year-old man with 10 felony convictions was arrested Monday on accusations that he burglarized a Skiatook house, records show.

White has spent 18 years in prison since 1982, including from 2009 to July 2011, records show.

He was convicted of grand larceny in 1982, 1994 and 1996; drug possession in 1999, 2005 and twice in 2009; and three counts of possessing a stolen vehicle in 2009, according to Department of Corrections records.

Hot Damn, Leonard, you be giving smelly, old, crusty white dudes a bad name! Now stop yer burglerin’ and go get cleaned up, you ole foo!

Mugshot(s) Of The Week

Tuesday, May 8th, 2012

You will laugh out loud!

Kinda reminds you of the first three rows at a Willy Nelson concert, donit?

Mugshot Of The Weak

Thursday, April 12th, 2012

Since *Mugshot of the Week* is being used by so many of The Mayor’s fellow blogsters, The Mayor has decided to change this segment to what we have now. Extremely witty stuff. You should be proud to be a Mitchievillian.

Oh, and girrrrl, youze guilty!

Mugshot Of The Week

Wednesday, November 23rd, 2011

Not only is she a criminal, but she does a terrible impression of The Fonz. Aaaaaaaayh. Correctamundooooo. Whoooah!

Anyway, if you deduct the bruising, swelling, greasy hair, dirty fingers and arms, raccoon eyes and a face full of age spots, that’s not a half bad looking chick. At least that’s what The Fonz said. Aaaaaaaayh.

Mugshot(s) Of The Week

Friday, October 21st, 2011

What on earth did Beaver Cleaver’s mom do now, you ask?

The 71-year-old Michigan woman arrested last month after police found her naked and having sex with a younger male companion in the back seat of her Buick was fined $585 and sentenced to a probationary term after she pleaded no contest today to a misdemeanor charge.

Rita Daniels entered her plea to a disorderly intoxication count this morning in District Court in Farmington Hills. Prosecutors dismissed an indecent exposure charge that had been filed against the septuagenarian following her September 3 arrest with Tim Adams.

Adams, 54, today also entered a no contest plea to disorderly intoxication (and had an indecent exposure charge dropped by prosecutors). He was placed on a year’s probation (like Daniels), fined $785, and ordered to perform 50 hours of community service.

As detailed in a City of Farmington Police report, Daniels and Adams (who was also nude) were discovered trysting inside the vehicle (license plate: DIVA 145), which was parked in front of a pair of restaurants. The car was rocking gently and its windows had steamed over, noted Officer Andrew Morche.

After opening the Buick’s passenger door to break up the Saturday evening clinch, Morche asked the naked pair what they were doing. Adams provided a succinct reply: “I’m fucking this chick.”

Cops subsequently learned that Daniels and Adams, pictured in the above mug shots, had met for drinks at a nearby bar “before moving to the back seat of the Buick.”

It’s pretty funny that the two humpers’ have completely different expressions on their faces, but for the same reason. Buddy looks sombre and somewhat dejected because he was caught having sex with a dinosaur, where as grandma Walton looks really happy because she was just fed the bone by someone a few decades younger than herself. Then again, everything is pretty much a few decades younger than that fossil.

**Smoking Gun

Mugshot Of The Week

Wednesday, October 5th, 2011

The Mayor isn’t one for being easily scared, but when he first laid his beautiful green eyes on accused murderer Caius Veiovis, a dookie fell all the way from his upper cockles right to his sub-cockles. And The Mayor isn’t a big fan of unwanted dookie movements within his cockle region. So he will not comment on this picture, but he will say that Caius Veiovis is an innocent man. And good looking. And probably really smart. And considerate. And fair. Definitely a fair man. And a man who respects political figures (after all, he might be deemed innocent, if you know what The Mayor means).

**Comments are open to your discretion.

***The Smoking Gun

Not Wanted

Monday, September 19th, 2011

The other day The Mayor was out and about on his Mayor travels (he was cutting the ribbon at the new Women’s shelter in SE Mitchieville), when he ran in to an old friend he hadn’t seen for years and years. While talking to his friend, some other dude – who looks like the guy in the picture – walked over and stood right beside us. He wasn’t being an idiot or anything, he was just looking for a place to stand and he chose us to stand next to. After about 1/800th of a second, a waft of gross permeated the air. The stank didn’t come from my buddy, and it certainly didn’t come from The Mayor; the stank was so nose-hair curdling that it was apparent it was coming from Sir Grossness who was standing next to us.

Buddy had no interest in washing let alone wearing deodorant. He was a smelly man from dawn to dusk. He was a stinker. And he looked like the dude in the picture. Even if you had never heard The Mayor’s most interesting story before, and you had looked at the picture above, $50 says the first thing that came to your mind was that buddy stinks. Some guys (and women, but mostly guys) look like they stink. For sure Ivan Angulo stinks. And that’s probably why there’s only a chump change reward for him. No one appreciates a stinker, not even the justice system.

Mugshot Of The Week

Thursday, September 1st, 2011

From looking at the mugshot above, it’s hard not to believe that whatever crime buddy committed was probably something pretty goofy. Like getting caught tying silly string around his genitals at a rodeo, or slobbering copious amounts of sauce on his genitals at a Ribfest. Whatever his crime was probably involved his genitals and sauce and or string (and yes, The Mayor realizes he can’t let the whole *slobbering sauce on a body part at a Ribfest* go silently into the night).

Truth be told though, Mugshot Boy is probably a violent offender. He’s probably taking out his hostilities on folks because his daddy never told him he loved him, or he was never breast fed, or maybe he was always picked last when his so-called friends played baseball. One thing is for certain though, and that is The Mayor used the word “genitals” three times in this post, the word *breast” once, and managed another reference to slobbering sauce on one’s private parts while attending a Ribfest. And folks, that’s pretty darn impressive if The Mayor does say so himself.

Mugshot Of The Week

Monday, August 15th, 2011

If you were to ask The Mayor what kind of sports team does a man follow, and that man is addicted to meth, was caught next to a graveyard screaming bloody murder, dressed in a g-string, socks, and a hair scrunchie around his pills – The Mayor would say an Oakland Raider’s fan. No doubt. Every time. Well, unless he was from Canada, then The Mayor would say a Canuck’s fan.

Mugshot Of The Week

Tuesday, March 8th, 2011

It’s as if Joesph Edward Martin is still watching the fires he set. He’s frozen, it seems.

Honestly though, it wouldn’t have been shocking to any of us if the words “setting two fires” were replaced by “buggering neighbourhood cats”. Whatever buddy is accused of, he’s guilty.

That justice, Mitchieville style.

Mugshot Of The Week

Wednesday, December 8th, 2010

Maybe he just needs a hug. I nominate Dmorris.

Can someone please second the motion?

Mugshot Of The Week

Tuesday, August 3rd, 2010

Description: http://georgia.mugshotlist.com/wp-content/uploads/MugShots/Georgia/Cobb/000895283.jpg

As Jeff, who sent me this email pointed out, this picture really could be categorized under “What the Hell Am I?”

It could also go under the new category, “Things that Scare The Living Hell Out of The Mayor”.

But The Mayor decided to place this fine looking human under Mugshot of the Week. After learning this creature, Paderes Norcalis (name of creature), was arrested for Child Rape, The Mayor was thinking about putting him/her/it into another category called “Vermin That Should Swing From My Maple Tree”.

As for Jeff, who sent this picture to The Mayor – well, Jeff is now in his own personal category with The Mayor – “People The Mayor Needs to Thank Personally For Haunting His Dreams”.