Even celebrity moose knuckle can’t class this segment up any. Especially when The King is sportin’ a hunka hunka burning little knuckles betwixt his tights.

No, thank you very much.

Long before American Idol, we use to have a show up here in the Great White North called, “Me and My Disgusting Smokers Teeth Can Sing & Smile Way Longer Than You Can”.

It was on the air for more than 19 years, ask any Canadian over the age of 40 and they’ll tell you all about it. The man in the You Tube video is Dimitri Yoskanovek, winner of the Open Mic, Immigrant Edition of the show, circa 1977. He held his smile and song for more than 35 minutes, a record for Canadian immigrants to this day. With winning, Dimitri won dinner for two at the Old Spaghetti Factory in Toronto, as well as a $50 gift certificate to Bargain Harold’s.

The show is long gone now, but the memories are still as sharp in my mind as they were back when I was pre-teen, settling in with a bunch of my friends on a Saturday night to watch M&MDSTCS&SWLTYC.

Who needs Saturday Night in Canada hockey, when you have singers with terrible dental hygiene.

If you are in the greatest mood you have ever been in and happen to view this clip at the exact same time, you will find this to be marginally amusing. Any mood less than that, well, you takes yo chances.

**NSFW language in song

Are you ready to cock & roll? I said, are you ready to cock & roll?!! One mo time - Are you ready to cock & roll?!!!

You’re not? Oh. Sorry to disturb you then.

Various drummers from around the world - some famous, some not - “drummed for peace” in Sudan Saturday, sending  a message to world governments to prevent future bloodshed in the war-worn country:

The Sudan 365 campaign calls “on global leaders to take urgent diplomatic action over the next 365 days to prevent all-out conflict returning to Sudan,” a statement by the organisers said.

Celebrity drummers took part in a “beat for peace” film featuring a drumroll starting in the war-wracked nation “and being picked up and passed like a baton between drummers in over 15 countries” — including Brazil, Egypt, France, Japan, South Africa and the United States.

The drummers included Radiohead’s Phil Selway, Stewart Copeland of The Police, Nick Mason of Pink Floyd, as well as Egyptian musicians Yehia Khalil and Mohammed Munir and Ghana’s Mustapha Tettey Addy.

Nine organisations including Amnesty International, Human Rights Watch and the US group Save Darfur joined efforts to organise the campaign along with the drummers.

In London, around 150 people gathered outside Prime Minister Gordon Brown’s Downing Street office, drumming loudly and calling for peace in Sudan.

Gatherings were due to take place in a dozen cities across the world on Saturday as the film was launched on www.sudan365.org and YouTube, organisers said in a statement.

“I wanted to be involved in this project because I think music is such a powerful way of bringing people together,” Selway was quoted as saying.

“Hopefully this film will show that together people can make a huge noise and through this film I hope people’s focus will be brought back to what is happening in the Sudan over this very important next year,” Selway said.

Because without watching the film, you would never know that people could make a huge noise.

I’m pretty much positive that drumming for peace will work. I’m not sure about the science behind it, but from what I hear it’s pretty sound. At least as or if not more sound than the science behind gorebal warming. Put it this way: I started a cause called *Urinating in a Tin Cup In Order to Save the Suburban Raccoon* (UTCOSSR). The idea was that like-minded people, concerned about the dwindling number of suburban raccoons, would urinate in tin cups at the exact same time at various suburban locations across the world. I got a bunch of has-been and never-was musicians, industrialists, government officials, and regular Joe-six-packs together, and we all urinated into tin cups at the stroke of 11:45 pm - the approximate time most raccoons wake-up and start their day.

Well knock me over with a feather and call me Joanie, but dontchaknow it, the suburban raccoon is now flourishing. You can’t swing a skunk by the tail without hitting a raccoon in suburbia any more. It’s true that I can’t prove what I did worked by quoting some scientific method or fact, but the scientific fact is in my heart and soul, something that can’t be measured with a test-tube and a few elements from the periodic table.

Remember: Doing anything - no matter how outrageously stupid and knuckle-headed - will work and succeed, if you base it on emotion and mass hysteria only.

I’m sure that after this has made its rounds on the interwebs, Playgirl, or Playpen, or Play-Doh, or whatever that magazine that showcases steamy, hot men, will run with this and make this most-studly gentleman famous.

Oh right, now I remember what that magazine is called - All Eyes On The Mayor Of Mitchieville.

It sells more than MacLean’s. But then again, what doesn’t?

In fairness to Captain Kirk, he really does love that mountain.

I’m pretty sure Mike from New Zealand is watching this right now, giggling like a school girl.

Sure, this might be really hard on the ears, and twice as hard on the eyes, but Ken Lee Or Without You is pretty darn funny.

My momma always said that I should never make fun of anybody, but momma dun never saw Ken Lee Or Without You.

I bet you’re wondering what’s on M’Gumbo’s IPod Shuffle this week? Mostly Taylor Swift and Miley Cyrus. But when going out with the gang to rape and loot a village, M’Gumbo prefers to listen to Amelia Bloom and the Jonas Brothers. He finds that Iron Maiden and Anthrax makes him too nervous.

Good choice, M’Gumbo! And for making that good choice, you win $10 of ITunes courtesy of Radio Shackage in the Mitchieville Mall.

This YouTube video of Homeless Mustard singing Creep on the Opie & Anthony show blew me right away. Homeless Mustard has some serious soul. His rendition of this tune is better than the original by Radiohead.

Enough talkie, just watch and listen…

True, the first minute 30 or so is pretty strange, but somehow buddy ratchets it up a few notches and turns the bizarre into something where, after you’re finished viewing it, you will want to give your eyeballs a nice acid bath. I don’t need vision any more, it’s not as if I can unsee something.

I was whistling a song earlier on today that I really enjoyed listening to at one point of my life but haven’t heard on the radio in ages. After I finished whistling it, I started humming it. Then I thought you might get a kick out of it, so here we are. Just you and me.

See if you can guess the tune, it goes a little sumpin’ sumpin’ like this:

La da la da deeee

de da doo do da deeeeee

La la la la dee la dee da dooooo

La la la la la la I love you…..

dee da da la la dee dee da doooo

Dee la dee la dee la , tooooooo

La la la la la la deeee doooo

I love you, dooo dee da dooo.

**To be honest, I’m not sure the words “I love you” are in it, you would do well to replace them with “la la dee dooo la dooo”.