If you’re going to watch one terribly offensive video today, let it be this one. Although, The Mayor wasn’t offended in the least. Then again, I’m not black, Mexican, Hispanic, Jewish or Catholic.
Wow, being a privileged white man sure does feel good.
No, not the World Health Organization, you daft fool, the rock and or roll band from the 60’s-80’s.
My guess is that this picture was taken around 1967, around the time when The Who released “I Can See For Miles”. I have no way of knowing this, but Keith Moon doesn’t actually look smashed out of his gob, so that indicates to me this was before the 70’s when he became unhinged.
The Mayor has seen The Who a whack of times, I went to see them every year from 1982 onwards, at their “Final Tour” concert. I don’t follow them any more, but I know that last year they played halftime at the Superbowl, and away from that, Townsend and Daltrey still record and what have you.
The Who, Beatles and Stones – what a time for music, eh?
It’s a little hard to read the article attached to the picture of Lady Goo Goo, but here’s what the explanation is for Lady Goo Goo’s sudden weight gain – “…a surprisingly flabby belly, likely caused “by stress hormones and too many carbs”, says Dr. Liu”.
In other words, she’s eating too much crap. Perhaps that’s a little technical, but if you need me to dummy that down a tad, email The Mayor and I’ll be happy to draw you a stick-person diagram.
Before the “stress hormones and too many carbs”, Lady Goo Goo was about 100lbs. Considering she’s only 5′1″, that’s a pretty small package (haha – “small package”), so even if Goo Goo gained 5-10lbs, that’s really going to show. Then again, I find it hard to concentrate on this post because I can hardly think of anyone more boring that this short, tubby, attention-seeking hobgoblin.
Not many people know this, but Elvis Presley was an avid gun collector. He LOVED guns. He never left the house without one, or five. As a matter of fact, Elvis loved guns so much that he incorporated “gun language” into many of his songs, only to see the higher up muckity-mucks record producers demand he tone down his pro-gun language for to something that was “less offensive” to their delicate liberal sensitivities.
Like the song Heartbreak Hotel. We know the lyrics as”
Well, since my baby left me,
I found a new place to dwell.
It’s down at the end of lonely street
at Heartbreak Hotel.You make me so lonely baby,
I get so lonely,
I get so lonely I could die.
That was AFTER the PC police came a callin’. The lyrics BEFORE producers made Elvis change them consisted of these words:
My baby better not think of leaving me,
Or taking her possessions from the place where we dwell.
Or I’ll cap her ass and kill her cats
I’ll see that byatch in hell.Don’t make a life-changing mistake, baby,
Think carefully what your next move will be,
Or you’ll see both barrels of these fine made-in-the-USA weapons, and you could die.
You know, not to sound all liberal or anything, but maybe those lyrics were a bit offside. Then again, maybe record producers shouldn’t try to stifle creativity.
Bastards.
The Mayor loves a good mash-up. Truth be told, The Mayor also enjoys crappy mash-ups. I guess you could say The Mayor is a big fan of the mash-up. In my lifetime, I suppose I’ve seen, without any exaggeration, over 600,000 of them. You may think that’s a lot, but I have a lot of time on my hands, surprisingly enough.
The mash-up you are about to see definitely cracks the top 150,000. Possibly even the top 10 as far as the BEST mash-ups ever.
Now, together, let’s count up the amount of times The Mayor used the words mash-up in this post – I count seven,including the time I used it in the title.
We all need something to believe in, and it’s obvious to The Mayor that this well-adjusted child has found his inspiration.
Who and what is GWAR, you ask? In a small way, we are all GWAR and GWAR is us. Or GWAR could be a shock rock group that have come out with such classic discs such as America Must Be Destroyed and The Toilet Earth.
Either way, I betcha this child gets harassed and picked on in school.
This was by far Roy Head’s most popular song, Treat Her Right. Other songs that you may or may not remember, ones that didn’t do very well at all, include “Don’t treat Her Right“, “Hit Her With A Heavy Chair“, “Get Off My Lap, You’re Squishing My Testicles“, and “Who Told These Mexicans That They Are Allowed To Live In My Gated Community?“
If I was to guess what Robert Plant’s favourite flavour of ice cream is based solely on his shirt, I would have to say it would be Tuity Fruity.
Some of you may be worried that Robert Plant has way too much ice cream in front of him, The Mayor says don’t worry about it, there’s still plenty of room left on that huge chin of his.
**I was going to go with this line instead: Every Now and Zen Robert Plant like to have a tall, cool one, and generally he’s pretty white, clean and neat; but today he’s acting like he’s the captain of a ship of fools.
I’ll let history judge which line was better.
I’m sure it is, kinda like “I Don’t Know Whether To Kill Myself or Go Bowling”, “My Head Hurts, My Feet Stink, And I Don’t Love You” and, “She’s Actin’ Single and I’m Drinkin’ Doubles”.
Those songs shore do bring a tear to The Mayor’s eyes.
These pics were leaked to The Mayor less than 5 minutes ago, I’m sure a storm ‘o controversy is going to follow.
I’m surprised though that’s a football in Bieber’s hand, I guess someone must have Photoshopped out the Barbie Doll.
Boy, that was an unfair comment to make about a great Canadian.
There’s no doubt you all remember the video The Mayor posted a few weeks ago of the strung-out acid freak who went insane when he saw a double rainbow – that kind of performance tends to stay in one’s head a lifetime. Well, thanks to the internet and someone with far too much time on their hands, you can now experience “Double Rainbow Set To Music”.
The Mayor hates to admit it, but the tune is rather catchy and the whole thing well done. Why does The Mayor hate to admit that? Because I’m a petty and jealous type who hates watching someone pull off anything resembling success.
Marc in Calgary – who is having a pancake breaky this morning while taking in the sights and sounds of Day 2 of the Calgary Stampede, sent this to The Mayor.
Musician Prince, has declared the “Internet over”, and has decided to release his new music on CD only:
“The internet is completely over. I don’t see why I should give my new music to iTunes or anyone else. They won’t pay me an advance for it and then they get angry when they can’t get it.”
He went on to say: “The internet’s like MTV. At one time MTV was hip and suddenly it became outdated.
Prince also criticised the advent of gadgets and computers: “All these computers and digital gadgets are no good.
“They just fill your head with numbers and that cant be good for you.”
Prince has taken his war against the internet one step further by shutting down his official website.
Then that’s that, isn’t it? Man, the internet had a pretty great run there for a while, but all good things must come to an end, I suppose.
I’m going to miss the internet; I’m really going to miss you guys. I thought that maybe, just maybe, the internet might last a few more years, but I have no reason to doubt Prince, he really seems to know what he’s talking about.
Here’s the conversation my youngest legitimate son and I had when I tried to explain what Prince said about the internet:
“Prince Phillip said that?”
“No, not Prince Phillip, Prince.”
“Oooohhh, Prince Charles?”
“No son, Prince”
“Prince Harry?”
“Nup, Prince”
“Ahhhh, gotcha, dad, you’re talking about Prince Phillipos of Greece.”
“Nope”
“Prince Pieter Christiaan of Oranje-Nassau?”
“Nope”
“Prince Carl Phillip of Sweden?”
“Nope”
“Prince William?
“No”
“Prince Albert in a Can?”
“Yes son, Prince Albert in a Can. I’m talking about Prince Albert in a Can.”
“Wow, I’m really gonna miss the internet, dad.”
