Archive for the ‘MYASS’ Category

We Get The Message

Thursday, September 6th, 2012

The thought disgusts The Mayor.

And she looks like the type that would first mentally undress The Mayor with her eyes; staring at his V-shaped chest, python arms, and large cannonball-like lump in his dungarees. From there, she would slowly undress The Mayor with her teeth – The Mayor would scream, but the little vixen would shove a ball-gag in his mouth, as well as her tongue and three different fruits and vegetables. After the clothes come off, she would undoubtedly pound The Mayor like he’s never been pounded before. She would be relentless, pounding and pounding and pounding and pounding, only taking a rest long enough to catch the final 5 minutes of Hogan’s Heroes (great show, Hooooogaaaaaan!!!!). After the pounding ends (three full minutes), she would spit brown sugar in The Mayor’s face and kick him in the scrotum, and then walk away humming Bette Midler show-tunes while chewing on bbq flavoured beef jerky.

Oh, the horrors!

The Mayor Lost 2300 Calories Today

Wednesday, May 23rd, 2012

The Mayor wonders if it’s a plus/minus if you engage in extracourse while eating a Sausage McMuffin?

It has to be a plus, anything involving a Sausage McMuffin HAS to be a plus.

Mitchieville – Out To Stop Sexism

Saturday, September 18th, 2010

The Mayor does not approve of the above “joke”. It’s hurtful toward women, it’s sexist, unwarranted and unnecessary.

Words hurt, “jokes” can kill. That’s a fact.

And that is why The Mayor is asking parliament to undertake one of the most comprehensive studies ever in the history of Mitchieville.

The Mayor has asked parliament to set up a committee, to explore, analyse, and report back to The Mayor with recommendations as how to best fight sexism in all its disgusting forms. Mitchieville & Your Association Stopping Sexism (MYASS) will be led under the guidance of Fenris Badwulf.

This $16.8 million dollar project will run over the course of the next 18 months; weekly meetings will be held at the Spotted Dick Pub in NW Mitchieville and is open for the public to attend. Tuesday night is half price wings and $3 pints. Visa and MasterCard accepted.

We, the peoples, can fight and beat sexism by fighting and beating sexism. It’s as simple, and as complicated as that.

MYASS is here for the citizens of Mitchieville. MYASS cares. MYASS is a powerful tool.