It’s nice to see that the ballet has finally started to visually reflect the changing society in which we live. Gone are the days when ballerina’s were petite, dainty, delicate little flowers, they have now been replaced by brawny, rotund, butterballish clod hoofers. And not a second too soon, if you ask The Mayor.

I can’t wait to see the new line-up of ballets at the Mitchieville Performing Arts Center and Agricultural Building this year. Ballets such as Romeo & Juliet Kill The Buffet, Midsummer’s Night Dream of Extra Cheese and a Large Coke, Caramelized Swan I Ate At The Lake, and my favourite of all ballets: The Nutcracker – Cuz She Sat On My Lap.

The new reality is here, and I’m lapping it all up. Mmmmmmm, yummy.

I’m talking about the flowering plant, not the birch tree which sits behind it. And that object to the left of the plant is a rock, there’s nothing to look at there. I think there may be some lilies growing behind the birch tree, but I can’t be 100% sure. Those little purple devils are periwinkles, they’re not in the equation either.

The main white plant is what we’re focusing on tonight. I’ll tell you a little bit about it, and then see if you’re up to the task in guessing what it might be: It’s a wildflower that seems to do well in shaded areas. In Mitchieville, this little beaut is protected by the gummint. Which means, unlike your nose, you can’t pick it. That’s pretty much all I know about it.

So, to recap: It’s a wildflower and you need to keep your digits out of your proboscus. That’s a helpful hint, you would do well to heed it.

I was very impressed that so many people knew the plant I posted the other day was the beautiful magnolia. Andy has one in his yard, a big, healthy magnolia that is absolutely beautiful. I’d like to eat it. Carin says she has one in her yard, too. As a matter of fact, Carin likes this series so much she has challenged The Mayor to a hosta competition. I think the idea is whoever has the most hostas, wins. I win.

I’m sure everyone knows what this gorgeous plant is, but what specific type  is it? Hmmmm?

This was the flower TLDG picked for our wedding. I wanted the dandelion. Guess who got their way? I’ll give you a hint: it was TLDG.

There were quite a few people that knew the plant I posted yesterday was a hosta. A boring ole hosta. Sure, the hosta will never be as exciting as a Red Twig Dogwood, but then again, who among us will ever be as exciting as a Red Twig Dogwood? Huh? Eh? Whubu?

Exactly.

The tree I posted today has a lovely flower that blooms in the spring and then after spring is over, just sits there like an awkward, zit-faced boy on his prom night. Tree frogs really dig this tree, and like the tree frog, so do I?

The petals are pinkly purplish, the leaves are green, and I have counted no less than three types of small animals urinating on it. And believe The Mayor when he says that if he ever catches those animals, I will urinate on them. It’s the whole goose/gander thing. Know what I mean? I think you do.

So, any of you outdoorsy types know what tree this is? Maybe Andy’s wife knows what it is? I betcha she does. I betcha YOU don’t. Na na na na boo boo.

Funny, but in this picture the plant looks rather sickly, like it just saw Katie Couric in granny panties, but in actuality this plant is thriving, like it just saw Megan Fox in granny panties.

The Mayor has over 50 different types of plants/shrubs/flowers/trees in his backyard, and loves every last one of them slightly less than he does his own legitimate children. Sometimes you will find me nestled beside one, talking to it, sometimes scolding it (but only if its been naughty).

I know what this plant is, but do you? It’s an easy one tonight, but as the days go on, the pictures will get harder and harder–just like the way you get when you see Katie Couric Megan Fox in granny panties.

See how I brought that whole thing around to a pretty admirable conclusion?

Impressive.