Archive for the ‘News and reviews’ Category

Mourning Nelson Mandela week grinds on in Mitchieville

Wednesday, December 11th, 2013

In keeping with the principle of solidarity, we here in Mitchieville were out necklacing some N-people. There was never any outrage over this when the saintly Nelson’s wife did it, so it must be OK. It is hard to tell what is acceptable with the white guilt slurping crowd. So, you just do what they do; as you always know they will call you names. Always.

Anyway, necklacing is fun. It is not a tradition in my culture, but my culture is the least acceptable of all equally acceptable cultures. So, I abandon reason and embrace emotion; just like I am told to do. So, necklacing is fun. It is like dooring Bolshevik cyclists, those milky skinned commissars of income confiscation who peddle around town here. It is the sign of the times: why is nobody calling the critics of the employment equity sign language interpreter racist? Being critical of an N-person at the funeral of the Supreme N-person is racist. There, I said it.

Philippines Total Global Warming Disaster Watch

Monday, November 11th, 2013

The need for your money has never been stronger than today. Tomorrow, it will be worse. Really, what use do you have for your money? The victims of the world’s worst environmental disaster need money, and they need money badly. You can see that now in the insightful media reporting coming out of the hotel bars in Manila. The same pictures appear in different articles, the same tale of woe. Tourists have been stranded. Flood waters reached the second floor of the hotel. Survivors are forced to step over bodies as they go about looking for money; all just to survive.

How can you help? Why not fly over to Manilla, stay in a hotel, and chat up the journos in the closest bar? You can write your truthy articles from there as these western hotels have ample internet access, bedbug free rooms, and plenty of liquor. And do not forget the easy access to a diversity of sex trade workers. Just ask for leads from the journos. There is plenty of leadership available if you wish to get in a few moments of diversity between crying over the suffering with your new journo friends in the hotel bar.

I, Fenris Badwulf, wrote this. I care.

Philippines Total Global Warming Disaster Watch

Sunday, November 10th, 2013

The world’s worst environmental disaster was the worst on record when the reports from the hotel bars in Manila started to come in before the Typhoon of Doom actually arrived. There was talk of dead people. There was talk of people left homeless when their huts were blown away by the big bad wind. It must have been pretty grim in the dark light of the bar, lit only by the back lights of the liquor shelf. To watch such news on the flat screens where normal scenes, like the traditional transgendered sex acts, would have been traumatic. The journo’s would have switched from see through drinks, like the vodka martini, to opaque ones, like the brown cow. If only to blot out the scenes of horror that they would have to rewrite for later. The horror was the worst. Then, it got worser.

This perfect third world paradise, never touched by environmental disaster, got fracked. Now our hotel dwelling journos have to interview cleaning staff and waiters for insight into the sufferings of the people outside. My heart bleeds. My anger at Global Warming deniers becomes a rage.

A moment of sanity. Peace can return to your heart. You need to escape to a caring place where people care about people. That place is the Mayor of Mitchieville Memorial Aquatic Center. There is ample parking in the parking lot (built with a grant to fund research into bicycle lanes along the 401). There is accommodation for gimps in the crip parking lot, around the back by the compost pits and the bear feeder. As you climb the steps you take in the majesty of the Hall of Majesty, devoted to relics from the life and works of The Mayor of Mitchieville (this includes his first car, set on blocks and leaking oil; and the preserved heads of his enemies, in keeping with his cultural beliefs). The soaring ceiling, the glass roof, the state of the art lighting inspires you to a greater vision of world order (and completely funded with government subsidy to promote literacy amongst street people). There are many delights, refreshments, and diversions to titillate the senses and realign your magnetic field. But today, it is Philippines Total Global Warming Disaster Watching gloom dispelling at the Mayor of Mitchieville Memorial Aquatic Center. Come, let yourself be hypnotized. You will become calm. Relax. Enter the poplar paneled Mayor of Mitchieville Memorial Aquatic Center’s Global Warming Awareness Sauna. There is a diversity of towels to accommodate your every need. You need a big towel? Something smaller to fold up and park under your rump? And we have colors, too. Baby blue for those seeking the sky. Bright yellow for the sunny at heart. And imperial purple worked with eagles in gold for the historically minded.

You can fight Global Warming. Come to the Mayor of Mitchieville Memorial Aquatic Center. Feed your problems to the compost pit. Celebrate nature’s wonder as you watch bears and crocodiles recycle the way Mother Nature intended. Have a sauna. Become refreshed. Tell them that Fenris sent you, and receive a privilege token! Soothe yourself with pre industrial tranquility

I, Fenris Badwulf, wrote this. I care.

Philippines Total Global Warming Disaster Watch

Sunday, November 10th, 2013

My eyes are red and swollen from weeping. Even more wallet grabbing news out of the paradise that is the Philippines. The transgendered neighbor’s nanny told me her uncle had an uncomfortable seat in the health clinic in Toronto when he had to wait for a replacement prescription of pain meds for his hip replacement. He had to wait for over half an hour, which is racism. The flat screen television in the waiting room had a clip about the Global Warming Disaster in the Philippines (sandwiched between Mayor Ford and Senate Scandal Villain Harper). How much suffering can a victim of racism endure?

Speaking of Global Warming Science, I am shocked that the Vanguard Media are not reporting on Crack Mayor Ford’s links to the fracking that caused the Philippine Typhoon 2013. He may have links to Philippine Typhoon Ondoy, Philippine Typhoon Pablo, and Philippine Typhoon Bopha. Typhoons are caused by fracking. Truth about this has been suppressed by the evil right white wing extemists. Since fracking causes earthquakes, then, logically, it must cause Typhoons too. And Hurricanes. We need journalists like Stephen Glass to do some digging here. Blame Ford, I say. The transgendered neighbor’s nanny told me her uncle overheard a conversation in the WheelTrans bus that implied that someone had a video fully implicating Crack Mayor Ford in a conspiracy to destroy the planet. Yup.

Do you feel outraged by Crack Mayor Ford’s links to the Global Warming Disaster in the Philippines because of cranio-fracking?
I know how you feel. I have felt the same way. I have found that giving money to the Mayor of Mitchieville Memorial Aquatic Center’s Global Warming Awareness Sauna gives relief. Open your wallet, purse, or man-bag, and heft over your money. The best way to fight unawareness of Global Warming is to fund the towel fund. Give, because you care.

I, Fenris Badwulf, wrote this. I care.

A cure for the disease of Liberalism

Tuesday, October 25th, 2011

There it was, on the front page of the Red Star, right at the top. Some music activist for that vanguard voice of the tax spenders * has been refused a reviewers ticket. Management has a longstanding conflict with comrade arts reviewer. Fair enough. Read the article yourself. Form your own opinion. Me, I figure if the critic got so disrespected, the suck up article he wrote is just him bowing down. In prison, he would be called a bitch. Hmmm. So, showing the leftists an iron fist is what is needed to get them to do your bidding.

I would suggest to you all to follow the example of Avril Lavigne.

Sunday, March 20th, 2011

Just the facts, Ma’am.

Using Cyprus as a base? That is where the Crusaders fell back to after the fall of Jerusalem. The state responsible for that geography is authorizing air strikes from its territories against a Moslem state. They will be none to popular at morning coffee.

Canada has war planes? Compared to a real war, six is a number that is small. During a real battle, at least six fighters could be expected to blow up during routine take off or landing operations, in the Canadian War Machine. Our military is too small.

Every country involved in this will be targeted by … the nameless ones, who cannot be mentioned. Now, they will have financing from an experienced (K.Q. was a big backer for the Fenians, back in the day; terrorist training camps; recruiting; recall) tyrant. Which continent will be destabilized next? Probably yours, especially your home town. Yup. (Was not Obama not supposed to do this?)

CBS Reporter Lara Logan Beaten & Sexually Assaulted In Egypt

Wednesday, February 16th, 2011

Protest War correspondent, Lara Logan of CBS *news*, was beaten and sexually assaulted “by a mob while covering the jubilation in Cairo’s Tahrir Square on the day Egyptian President Hosni Mubarak stepped down, the U.S. broadcaster said Tuesday.”

CBS News said in a statement Logan was covering the celebrations for CBS’s “60 Minutes” program on Feb. 11 when she and her team were surrounded by “a mob of more than 200 people whipped into a frenzy.”

“In the crush of the mob, she was separated from her crew. She was surrounded and suffered a brutal and sustained sexual assault and beating before being saved by a group of women and an estimated 20 Egyptian soldiers,” CBS said.

Good job of CBS sending a woman to the same place where other female reporters – like Anderson Cooper – have been physically assaulted by unruly mobs before.

It’s hard to imagine that the “mob of more than 200 people whipped into a frenzy,” the same ones who were celebrating the ouster of a murderous dictator, the same ones who were celebrating a new beginning, the same ones who were celebrating the chance for liberty and democracy, suddenly decided it was time for the raping to begin. I suppose in the midst of all that celebrating, they forgot to celebrate a women’s right not to be sexually assaulted and beaten to a bloody pulp.

It’s not as if there weren’t any other women around, either. According to the release by CBS, a group of women came to Lara Logan’s rescue. I wonder why those few women weren’t raped by the “mob of more than 200 people whipped into a frenzy?” Do Moslem frenzied mobs not want to rape Islamic women? What’s the matter with this frenzied mob, anyways? Is this “mob of more than 200 people whipped into a frenzy” prejudice against other religions and races?

Democracy. Liberty. Freedom.

That’s what our msm is telling us the “mob of more than 200 people whipped into a frenzy” actually want.

Something To Chew On

Friday, August 6th, 2010

When General Motors went through bankruptcy last year, it suspended its political donations. Now that it’s owned by the U.S. government, it’s donating to lawmakers’ pet projects again.

The carmaker gave $41,000 to groups associated with lawmakers, the vast majority of it — $36,000 — to the Congressional Black Caucus Foundation, the company reported on a disclosure form last week. The CBC Foundation is a charity with 11 members of the Congressional Black Caucus on its board.

**You scratch my back, and we’ll give you tens of thousands of taxpayer money


Christina Romer, chairwoman of Pres. Obama’s Council of Economic Advisers, has decided to resign, according to a source familiar with her plans.

Romer, an economics professor at the University of California (Berkeley) before taking the key admin post, did not respond to repeated calls to her office.

“She has been frustrated,” a source with insight into the WH economics team said. “She doesn’t feel that she has a direct line to the president. She would be giving different advice than Larry Summers [director of the National Economic Council], who does have a direct line to the president.”

“She is ostensibly the chief economic adviser, but she doesn’t seem to be playing that role,” the source said. The WH has been pounded for its faulty forecast that unemployment would not top 8% after its economic stimulus proposal passed.

**This is what’s commonly known as the rats jumping a sinking ship. Who wants THEIR name on this administrations record?


New York Representative Jerrold Nadler, who wants to exempt his own six-figure constituents from the tax hike he supports. Mr. Nadler’s bill would “require the IRS to adjust tax brackets proportionally in regions where the average cost of living is higher than the national average.”

In other words, the various tax brackets would apply to residents in certain regions at higher income levels versus other parts of the country. A family with an income of $50,000 or even $1 million in Manhattan would pay less federal income tax than a family with the same earnings in Omaha. The bill is called the Tax Equity Act, but a more accurate title would be the Blue State Tax Preference Act.

**Does this remind anyone of the book Atlas Shrugged?


As of July 31, almost half of all U.S. fatalities in Afghanistan have happened on President Barack Obama’s watch. Since Obama took office in January 2009, 558 U.S. troops have died in Afghanistan, out of 1,127 since the war began nine years ago, according to’s tally.

**Fortunately for Obama and his administration, the msm don’t deem it necessary to report daily body counts like they did when GWB was President.


Ship arriving too late to save a drowning witch

Monday, August 25th, 2008

And if you got that obscure reference I applaud you.

WINNIPEG – Someone claiming to be a sister of the young man stabbed and beheaded on a Greyhound bus in Manitoba last month has been trying to use the horrific killing to collect money.

The unidentified person posted messages on the Facebook social-networking site last week, claiming to be Tim McLean’s eldest sister, Amanda.

The pleas for donations were on a handful of McLean tribute pages for a couple of days before people got suspicious. They pointed out the McLean family had already set up an account to accept donations at branches of TD-Canada Trust.

At the same time, someone reported the matter to the RCMP and the person posting as Amanda McLean was removed from Facebook.

You know I pulled the same stunt with Bernie Mac… dice.

Bono-fied fatty

Bono has reportedly been ordered to lose weight before U2 release their new album and start a proposed world tour next year.

The singer – who has been entertaining celebrity friends including Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie and Robert De Niro on his yacht in France this summer – has been told he needs to lose his excess pounds before the band start their promotional duties again.

A source told the New York Post newspaper: “U2 have an album coming out around January. And then the band is going on another world tour in March and April – so the boys have been told to start exercising all the summer weight off.”

I don’t think he looks that bad.

Crocodile rock

A crocodile killed and devoured a 25-year-old man in Bangladesh who waded into a pond next to a shrine hoping to be blessed by the animal, police said Thursday.

Inspector Humayun Kabir told AFP that Rubel Sheikh and his mother travelled 50 kilometres (30 miles) from their home to visit the Muslim Khan Jahan Ali shrine, where the attack happened.

Kabir said hundreds of people visit the shrine every day to offer hens and goats to the five crocodiles living in the pond. Part of the ritual also involves bathing in the water.

Seems like a great place to take a vacation….with your enemies.

She’s too sexy for herself

Avril Lavigne is getting under the skin of Malaysian censors.

A hard-line Islamic opposition party in the Southeast Asian country is calling on the government to scuttle an upcoming concert featuring the “Sk8er Boi” singer, calling her stage act way “too sexy” for local tastes.

Officials with the Pan-Malaysian Islamic Party’s youth wing contend Lavigne’s Aug. 29 performance in Kuala Lumpur would set a bad example for citizens, especially coming two days before the nation’s Aug. 31 Independence Day holiday.

“It is considered too sexy for us…it’s not good for viewers in Malaysia,” party official Kamarulzaman Mohamed was quoted by the Associated Press as saying. “We don’t want our people, our teenagers, influenced by their performance. We want clean artists, artists that are good role models.”

Man, someone should tell her, she’s got to stop hanging around Bono.

Truth is stranger than Strange

The full retard

Sunday, August 17th, 2008

Advocates for people with intellectual disabilities are boycotting the movie ‘Tropic Thunder’ which opened this week, August 13. Outside some movie theatres, people carried signs calling the movie ‘Tropic Blunder” and wore t-shirts saying ‘Rally for Respect.’

They’re offended by the movie’s repeated use of the ‘R’word….

The “R” word? Holy Christ, now we have to worry about the “R” word? Add it to the list with the “N” word and the “C” word. Personally I don’t know how the good people at the CNR (Canadian National Railroad) are going to handle this?

They’re also offended by the treatment of a character named ‘Simple Jack’ who has an intellectual disability. The character is played by Ben Stiller who also wrote the movie.

Here is the scene all the noise is over.

Big foot, or big hoax?

PALO ALTO, Calif. — Bigfoot lived in North Georgia, and his cousins are still there. That’s what a pair of Clayton County outdoorsmen claim as they released this picture of their find.

I don’t know. That picture doesn’t look like Val Kilmer at all.

But if they have definitive evidence to prove it, it wasn’t presented at a press conference here Friday where they had said they would make believers out of everyone. Dozens of mostly skeptical reporters showed up, lured by a flurry of interest in the story since pictures of the supposed discovery hit the Internet late last month.

Matthew Whitton and Rick Dyer said a second round of DNA testing on what they claim is a dead 7-foot bigfoot they say they stumbled upon while hiking in June in North Georgia is still being completed.

That’s better.

Teen wolf

Not yet, but give him a few more years.

An 11-year-old “werewolf” boy who desperately seeks a cure for his condition is baffling medical experts.

Pruthviraj Patil is one of 50 in the world who suffers from hypertrichosis, a rare genetic condition known as Werewolf Syndrome.

As a result his face and body is covered in thick, matted hair.

But he is hoping doctors will one day find a cure for his ailment.

Or ship him off to those Big Foot Hunter dudes. Hey you don’t suppose?

Making my hairy potter invisible

Researchers have taken the next step on the road to constructing a cloak of invisibility or a powerful “superlens” capable of capturing fine details undetectable to current lenses. A group from the University of California, Berkeley, this week is publishing the first demonstrations of materials capable of bending visible or near-visible light the “wrong” way in three dimensions.

Yeah, yeah, yeah….just let me know when I can get one. Women’s dorm here I come! Gigady gigady…..all right.

The truth is stranger than Strange

Coma toast

Sunday, August 10th, 2008

Well we managed to get through the week without another decapitation on a Greyhound bus….oh but wait a minute….

Head on a PETA

No one ever went broke underestimating the taste of radical advocacy groups, but even in that context, PETA’s latest advertising campaign sets new lows. Last week, an attacker beheaded and cannibalized a man on a Canadian bus, a revolting crime that made headlines around the world. But where human beings saw tragedy and lunacy, PETA saw … opportunity:

Comparing the recent stabbing and decapitation of a young Winnipeg man to how humans kill animals for food.

People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals said the advertisement is meant to make people understand how animals suffer when they are killed in slaughterhouses. The group posted the imageless advertisement on its blog site Wednesday.

So much for killing and cannibalizing runaway teens. Now I have to worry about ending up on PETA’s website.

When you’re a Jet you’re a Jet all the way

Brett! Brett! Brett!

That was the seemingly universal opinion of Jets fans yesterday as supporters of Gang Green came down with Favre Fever.

The trade bringing quarterback Brett Favre to New York excited long-suffering Jets fans, who said the future Hall of Famer should help the team make the playoffs.

I guess we’re still stuck with their annoying chant except it will now be, ” B….R….E…T….T…..Brett, Brett, Brett!”

Goodbye Bernie Mac

Though I never knew you at all
You had the grace to hold yourself while those around you crawled
Goodbye Bernie Mac from the young man in the twenty second row
Who sees you as something more than sexual
More than just our Bernie Mac

Mr. Mac died from complications of pneumonia in a Chicago-area hospital, said his publicist, Danica Smith. A public memorial is planned for noon Aug. 16 at The House of Hope church in Chicago, Smith said.

“The world just got a little less funny,” said “Ocean’s” co-star George Clooney.

So long to a great comedian.

You’re an eight

Police say there’s been an alarming rise in urine-filled plastic containers found along a three-mile stretch of Interstate 84 in eastern Oregon.

A litter crew for the Oregon Department of Transportation picked up an estimated 200-300 urine filled plastic bottles, along the highway, about half of which were found in a short stretch dubbed “Three Mile Hill.”

The strange thing? Most of the urine was from women.

Pitting man against woman

A man and a woman found a new use for a barbecue pit _ one that landed them in jail. An argument over whether a third guest should stay in the house got so heated that the woman picked up the barbecue pit and hit the man over the head with it, police said.

The man picked up the barbecue pit and returned the favor and hit the woman in the head with it, police reported. The woman then told police that she picked up the barbecue pit and hit the back window of the man’s car with it.

Police admit that the whole situation was confusing, but after medics treated the man and the woman, they were handcuffed, read their rights and taken to jail.

Sounds like our camping weekend at Sibbald point last week.

Give me as S…T…U…P…I…D

What’s that spell?

Twenty-six teenage cheerleaders….

Not the ones in the picture, but hell, you need something to look at.

…tried to cram themselves into an elevator at the University of Texas to see how many would fit, but then they got stuck and had to be rescued.

Wow this is eerie. That was the first thing we did when we got up to Sibbald Point…except replace elevator with outhouse.

One girl was treated and released at a hospital and two others….

….Including an Asian dude trying to take up-skirt pictures…

….were treated at the scene after the Tuesday night prank, officials said.

Woman Riding A Donkey Fights Off Lion With Machete

You really should have been camping with us.

Truth is stranger than Strange

Strange holidaze

Saturday, August 2nd, 2008

Since I will be away, yet again, this weekend and since Jose Marrone is not available, having previous obligations judging the finalists at his villages “Best One Legged Prostitute” competition, I will be regurgitating “News and Reviews” from the past.

As a compromise it will also include some of Jose’s posts as translated by his wife.

So here are “News and Reviews Re-chewed” from 2007.


You have the Wong number

China has been forced to mull the possibility of allowing double-barrelled surnames in a break with the ancient tradition that citizens adopt one of a hundred single character surnames.

The top ten Chinese surnames are: Wang, Li, Zhang, Liu, Chen, Yang, Huang, Zhao, Zhou, Wu.

The official total of permitted surnames is 161, but this doesn’t do much to offset the fact that there are now 93 million Wangs in China – albeit very tiny wangs- something which is causing the authorities a bit of a problem.

Proposed additions to surnames are: Hung Low, Sum Yung Guy, Jones, Smith, Wong Way, Biff, and Angel-Drawers- just to name a few.

Police Official, Xang Biff Angel-Drawers, explained that “there are so many people who share an identity that it is becoming confusing”, a name like Wang Tao is shared by no less than 100,000 people. “You can see how police work can be very difficult.”

(Jose Marrone)

Cheee! Soy feliz de expresar mis pensamientos en noticias de mundo.

Hello again. I Jose wife, and I translate Jose. He say “He happy to be able to share his….how you say?…..’thinks’ with the people on world news”.

The answer is Owen in the wind

The incident on Sunday afternoon that landed actor Owen Wilson in the hospital was called in to police as a suicide attempt, according to Santa Monica Police Department phone logs.

According to the records, a call was received at 12:08 p.m. on Sunday for an incident listed as “attempt suicide.” Wilson remains in stable condition at Cedars-Sinai Medical Center in Beverly Hills, California.

Este hombre es un cobarde. Cuán puedele más explica alguien que mira tan bueno que mi esposa lame su cartel como lo está hecho de frijoles refritos. El finalmente Le debe haber mirado Mí y Dupree. Eso es lo que lo manejó sobre la orilla.

Jose say,”Owen is a coward”- He is not!
Jose also say, “He good looking and I lick his poster at night like it’s made of refried beans”- I do not!
Jose also say, “Owen must have finally watched ‘You Me and Dupree’ That’s what drove him to try to kill himself.- Jose is sleeping on the couch tonight!


Big breast is not so bestest

Studies now concur, women who have had breast augmentation…’s my chance to insert a picture of a overly large breasted woman

……are three times more likely to commit suicide or to die from drug or alcohol dependence.

Really, I can empathise with these women. Why, after I had my penis extension I thought about ending it several times. Personally, I think their mortality rate is tied in to the fact they get given more free drugs and alcohol than their budgie-sized-breast counterparts. But that’s just me and my giant penis talking.

(Jose Marrone)

Greece fire

Fire officials in Greece say progress is being made in fighting deadly wildfires sweeping the country but many fires are not yet contained.

The fires have claimed at least 63 lives and burned numerous villages and thousands of hectares of forest.

Estas personas son estúpidas. Haga ellos no saben que usted es supuesto poner bicarbonato de soda en un fuego de grasa?

Jose say, ” Don’t people know baking soda is best to use on grease fire?”


Look out Barbie

Twelve inches high, these soft plush toys come in three beloved Bible characters ?
Moses, Esther and, of course, Jesus complete with biblical messages.

Like what? “Please don’t crucify me.” and “Thou shall not worship other plush dolls.”

The doll’s voice is activated when the child hugs its red heart. The simple but profound messages the dolls speak are at the heart of what these lovable teaching tools are all about. Here’s a sample of those messages:– I love you and I have an exciting plan for your life. (Jesus: Jeremiah 29:11)–

Say Jesus, did that plan including living paycheck to paycheck, with the government busting my balls for money I owe them, 7 STD’s, a rare form of prostate cancer and a partridge…in a pear tree?

Sorry, I couldn’t find out if the dolls were anatomically correct or not. “Moses’ rope belt is hanging out of his robe. hey! That’s not his rope!”

(Jose Marrone)

From Dog to God

NFL star quarterback Michael Vick pleaded guilty yesterday to a dogfighting charge, then took his first steps toward what he hopes will be redemption. Saying “I need to grow up,” the quarterback apologized to the league and to the “young kids that I’ve let down who look at Michael Vick as a role model.” He also said he has found God.


Jose say, “Michael Vick is a good and honourable man. Dog fighting an honourable sport. He bet all the time with his aunts, uncles, grandparents, nieces, nephews and children back in Mexico” He say, ” Vick should be hailed as a hero not a criminal”…..but Jose wrong!

Qué es usted le haciendo mujerzuela grande???

I say he should be locked up for long time- And don’t call me a slut Jose. You are already sleeping on the couch remember?- If Vick has truely found God, let us pray that he doesn’t drown, shoot or electrocute our heavenly father too…..

Eso es suficiente usted vaca gorda!!!!

Usted duerme mejor con el pene en una mano y el sissors en el otro…..usted pedo parcialmente calvo viejo!

Translate easily here.

Truth is stranger than Strange