The weekly horoscope has moved to The Fenris Badwulf School of Telemarketing Excellence.
Archive for the ‘News’ Category
Yeah, sure, my racist, rapist, oozing white privilege wanna be plantation owner (with slaves) co-workers were having a white privilege sausage squeeze-fest over some articles in the corporate media about some ‘baby fight club’ article. One of my sadist co-workers was at the point of tears during the discussion about the case. I wanted to strangle her for her white privilege, the honky bitch. Obviously, this story is just some sort of cover to protect Donald Trump from the critical eye of the progressive media. And, and I mean and, let us face it, ‘baby fight club’ is a racist weasel phrase designed to appropriate foreign cultural practice and vilify them.
Other cultures celebrate conflict between children, and, unlike the dominant racist patriarchy which oppresses us all here, encourages it. I nearly vomited listening to all the white privilege. Racist scum. After lunch, I denounced them all to human resources, using the confidential snitch line. How dare they impose their hate filled culture of institutional racism!
When I got home, I went down to the basement where I keep a few undocumented-Canadians in culturally appropriate housing. Inspired, I (using google translate) suggested that the occupant of cell A fight the occupant of cell B. The winner would get the food ration for both, and the loser would be burnt alive, in keeping with their cultural practices and traditions. A blessing actually, as the person being burnt alive gets an express ticket to the pleasures of the afterlife in the Welfare State shopping mall in the sky. I drank some beer while A and B brawled in the basement rec room where my pool table used to be. Then, the bar-b-que outside in the snow. The lucky victor had a double helping of creme of turnip soup, and four brussel sprouts (what a roughage plus feast!). I could only think of their delight for tomorrow when they get all you can eat pork roast, cut fresh and steamy off the tibia.
Still, the atmosphere of hate that lingers at work oppresses me. These co-workers of mine, they need to suffer.
When am I going to get paid? Where is my money? I want my money.
Yes, we have all had this problem. Remember the time you lent twenty bucks to your drunken friend at the Superbowl … years ago, now. And the miserable cactus has not paid you back. Hundred dollar emergency loans to decrepit relatives and fawning in-laws. Or the boss or business partner. Or the bank. Did they lie to you? Take advantage of your spiritual, caring nature? So many questions. The self doubt begins to ooze out of your eyes and armpits like black snot.
Astrology, the science of predicting the future, older and better than the snake oil mumbo jumbo and endless pills of the white coated wallet rapists of the public health care system, has the answers. Be at rest. Send me your money. Solutions will come after. Why wait? Your friends are consulting astrologers about stuff.
You want answers. I want your money. Go suffer without your horoscope for a while. Go to your room, no dinner. Brat. Send me your money.
I, Fenris Badwulf, wrote this. I care.
Whenever someone says something to The Mayor, or re-tells negative financial news, or anything that isn’t positive, The Mayor covers his ears and says out loud, “La la la la la la la la la” very, very loud.
It helps. It helps alot.
OPEC’s Serious Decline Forecast For U.S. Shale Is Exaggerated
Negative Interest Rates Already in Fed’s Official Scenario
Whether it’s falling oil prices, trouble in China or geopolitical uncertainty, Wall Street has a long list of worries steering money towards safe havens like gold.
“As we have seen stock markets around the world tumble dramatically, the need to protect capital has increased — and gold has benefited from that,” said Juan Carlos, director of investment research at the World Gold Council.
GoPro is Poster Child for IPO Market Scams
The credit ratings of ten of the largest energy companies just got downgraded by Standard & Poor’s.
The International Maritime Organization said it had received a shipping warning from North Korea of its intention to launch an earth observation satellite between 8 and 25 February.
How The Masses Deal With Risk (And Why They Remain Poor)
Relatively immune until now, Montana is being positioned for a flood of “refugees” over the next 18 months, as the IRC is urged to open offices in heavily populated Missoula, Montana
Retail Apocalypse: 2016 Brings Empty Shelves And Store Closings All Across America
Sears Canada is about to drop the Craftsman hammer on more stores throughout Canada, as sales have been sucking more than an Eureka SuctionSeal upright vacuum cleaner:
Sears’s sales declines over the past decade underline the urgency for it to reduce its footprint. The retailer’s sales have plummeted by almost half to what is expected to be just more than $3-billion in fiscal 2015 from about $6-billion 10 years earlier
According to the article, the big difference between this round of store closings and the previous 6 billion rounds of store closings, is that this time around, landlord’s don’t have businesses to replace Sears with. Before this, landlord’s would happily rip up a Sears lease because there were tons of other businesses ready and willing to have their asses handed to them on a platter (Target, Best Buy, Big Lots, Staple’s, etc). But now? Not so much. Landlord’s are stuck with giant anchor holes filled in between with 50% junk stores that are already dead but don’t know it yet (Rikki’s, Cleo, Dynamite, Claire’s, Tip Top Tailor, Old Navy, American Eagle, Bluenotes, Fairweather, Le Chateau, etc).
Brick and mortar for the most part has had it. The high end malls will still do well for a while, but sooner or later they’ll be finished as well. Outlet malls will survive until people realize that they are broke and outlet prices are ridiculous and the quality of their merchandise is pure shit.
Nothing is new and exciting, people are broke as a joke, quality isn’t a real word any more, and The Mayor looks terrific when he wears tight shirts. That’s the truth, and the truth shall make you horny.
The Mayor hasn’t posted a Green Shoots & Leaves in years because everything in the world is pretty much next to perfect now. The world economy, and especially the U.S of A’s, is coming along all tickety boo. Libya is now a hotbed of democracy, Ukraine is better than best, the Syrian people are enjoying their newfound freedoms, Egypt is back to a way better normal, and Yemen doesn’t even exist because you have never once heard of Yemen from those who would report news about that country if there actually was a country by that name that indeed existed.
Having said that, The Mayor has been sitting on a few links he would like to share with you. Crap links mostly. Just a bunch of lies really. Here goes nothing:
Germany Erupts Into Chaos As Protesters Declare “Rapefugees Not Welcome”
Was This Fantasy Syria Timeline Leaked To Push For Open War?
Fenris started posting his “Activist vs Activist” pieces about 8 years ago. Finally the world is starting to catch up:
“Arms-length bitches, Arms-length.”
A Nation of Fly Larvae: Obama and Gun Control
Baltimore Sun Editor Says She Feels Safer From Black Criminals Wielding Guns than she does from White Permitted Gun Owners **The Mayor will bet anyone a cheese sandwich that the woman in question lives in a predominantly white area of outer Baltimore than in the heavily black area of anywhere else Baltimore
2016 Theme #3: The Rise of Independent (non-state) Crypto-Currencies
This is What Happens after PE Firms Get Through with a Retailer
Study finds higher minimum wage hurting youth employment **UNpossible!!
The Clinton-Cosby Connection: Trump Shows How to Beat the Left
Autopsy – Lessons from Failed Startups
Residents say ‘slaughter to start any day’ after IS seizes Libya town
University of Guelph. A racist shit hole.
They need funding. They live in fear (6:23). Problems with professors and TA’s (7:01).
What a racist shit hole is the University of Guelph.
Catch the latest on twitter #BlackOnCampusGuelph
The Ontario Occupational Health and Safety Act, Part III.0.1, has been brought to my attention. A statist agent has shown up on my meeting calendar, filled with self importance, demands that will reduce time and resources available for revenue generation, and a presumption of familiarity with my person. He seemed more an emissary from a rival than a parchment pushing clerk seeking a prebend. Skinning him alive is not on the agenda, not with third quarter results coming in, and the big push to make budget recommendations for fiscal ‘16. To silence this magpie, from discretionary funds, I have decided to grant all his demands. Mitchieville will soon have a program to develop a Workplace Harassment and Violence policy. I have just signed the requisition. The ink is still hot.
The Workplace Harassment and Violence program needs a manager, responsible to create a program to develop a policy of Workplace Harassment and Violence. Here is an up and coming manager, you may recognize from the Mitchieville Spring Witch Burning Festival that was held at Ian Paisley Community Center. It was Mitchieville’s most popular spring community event! Everyone is still talking about it. I loved the food, the smell of burning cedar, and the good times. He will provide exactly the sort of leadership needed to push through this program so that Mitchieville can be in compliance. I am confident that everyone will support him.
Do not be so glum. Why worry? Your taxes are the lowest you will ever see before they get higher and higher and never, ever, come down. Enjoy this moment. Come, dance under the mango tree! As we speak, the forces of Social Justice are seeking to disturb the bones of Nathan Bedford Forrest. Back in the past, our white racist rapist ancestors had opinions about disturbing places of burial. But, ha ha ha, our present atheist rulers have no beliefs in things like bringing the dead back to life, or unleashing angry spirits whose rest has been disturbed. To even suggest such a thing is a micro aggression. So I will not drive the likes of big red feminist to hysteria, tears, and a disability pension fueled by lobotomy effect capsules, with belaboring the point. Instead, let us embrace Global Warming Climate Change Social Science. Let us observe the effects of the event, this disturbing the barrow of the long dead. Will his spirit walk the earth and motivate the actions of the living? Or not?
Anyway, here are some quotes attributed to the nazgul, er, paladin Nathan Bedford Forrest. It will shine some light on what sort of things that the risen spirit will be doing.
I, Fenris Badwulf, wrote this. I care.
After some thought, family plans to vacation in Baltimore have been cancelled. After all, if the progressives cannot actually pay their minions, then why go paid protesting? I was so looking forward to taking advantage of the cheap hotel rates brought on by the economic collapse in that city.
So, the next question that comes up at the family dining table is where to go vacation. Gosh, I do not have a crystal ball, but I suspect that the racist, black killing police will be adopting a hands off, ’safe space for looting’ approach to law enforcement. Which is to say, there will be a spike in crime rates. I suspect that the local businesses in these new freedom zones will adapt in some fashion. After all, if your store gets jacked for some beer, then the gentle giant who jacked the beer gets ventilated by some neo-nazi in blue, then you can look forward to getting special arson treatment in the ensuing riots. I sure hope the business owners doe not develop a vigilante attitude and start ventilating the ‘payback for slavery’ activists who now have a ‘do not shoot me’ card from the po-po. Anyway, I suspect some sort of corrosion of customer service in the freedom zones.
Where will the freedom zones be? It might be a good idea to avoid them. These can be identified as urban areas with freedom loving progressive rulers, who will be busy persecuting their own police apparatus.
Should be an interesting summer.
I, Fenris Badwulf, wrote this. I care.
Easter is upon us. Easter is a time when hate filled white racists worship their god of hate, eat unhealthy food, and persecute minorities. The newspapers do not even report on the widespread practices of witch burning, queer bashing, and trans-fat gobbling. The newspapers and television stations live in fear of Christians and only report news that makes them look good. Canada is a police state, with slavery, oppression, and poor food choices. Canada is a racist shit hole.