Archive for the ‘News’ Category

Baby Boomer Bye Bye

Tuesday, January 22nd, 2019

If you are looking to brighten your day, have a boo at The Baby Boomer Death Clock. All your baby boomer death clock needs on one not-so-tidy page.

Green Shoots & Leaves #2463

Wednesday, November 7th, 2018

I know we’re living in the end times and all, but i’m still really impressed that I can have an authentic Italian pizza delivered right to my door in less than 30 minutes. They couldn’t even pull that off during the last days of Rome. They were all like, “Ah fungoo, it’s beenalike 45 minutes and still no pizza. This whole-a country is going to a shit.”

A Kentucky woman who accused Supreme Court Justice Brett Kavanaugh of rape has been referred to the Department of Justice after she admitted that she lied.
The woman, Judy Munro-Leighton, took credit for contacting the office of Sen. Kamala Harris (D-CA) as “Jane Doe” from Oceanside, California. Jane Doe claimed – without naming a time or place – that Kavanaugh and a friend raped her “several times each” in the backseat of a car. Harris referred the letter to the committee for investigation.

For those of you keeping track, 2 Kavanaugh accusers have now admitted that they are lying whores, and the biggest lying whore hasn’t admitted she lied (yet), but has walked away with over 1 million dollars. The whoreiarchy of whoredom works this way – she who whores first and hardest walks away with a whore-fist of dolla’s, and all proceeding whores get nothing. Whores.

Moments ago GE found itself completely shut out of the Commercial Paper market, when Moody’s downgraded its senior unsecured rating to Baa1, from A2, and downgraded the short-term rating to P-2, from P-1, making future sales of CP impossible.

It seems like only yesterday when Obama and his henchmen bailed out GE to the tune of 132.5 billion (yes, billion, with a B). And since that time 9 years ago, GE hasn’t paid a red cent of tax to any level of gov’t. And now they are bancrupt. Bra Vo, GE. Another display of liberal ineptitude, brought to you by diversity inc.

Prescriptions for Millions of Opioid Pills Lead to Charges Against 5 Doctors – have a boo at the names of the doctors.

This is what diversity does to our society. Those that don’t have the same values and culture as us, have no problem eliminating us. At least when we are exterminated we can say we weren’t racists. Yippee.

Mattress Firm’s Moral Bankruptcy – Scam company meets scam economy, giant scam ensues

Two years of non-stop campaigning, denouncing and doxing—and all the Resistance has to show for it is a House majority smaller than the one Republicans currently have and a net loss of three Senate seats? (Thank you, Justice Brett Kavanaugh!)

Alyssa Milano Refuses to Speak at Next Women’s March, Cites Anti-Semitism

This may not be relevant to the article, but Alyssa Milano is one of the hairiest women ever to step foot on this planet. Apparently, she s (more…)

Horoscope for the week of August 19, 2018

Sunday, August 19th, 2018

Aries: Wednesday, you are drawn into an episode by people that do not know what they are doing. Friday, there is an explosive crowd scene. You are in danger of being bitten by an old man.

Taurus: You will be told something disagreeable by someone who just wants to savor your distaste. Mark this person down on your shit list.

Gemini: Your week begins with a recharged you. Everything works! Your special skills will draw attention. Monday, your superior driving skills will be challenged by a transport truck loaded with large animals.

Cancer: Dip into your cache of comfort food for solace on Wednesday and Thursday. Just before midnight on Wednesday, an opposing army will be obliterated using your suggested tactics.

Leo: A last minute birthday present arrives. Late Thursday, you will be in danger if you go into a back alley.

Virgo: A secret admirer will reveal themselves on Friday. Some questions will be resolved at that time.

Libra: You will have a week of barbarian pleasures. Cast aside your nominal veneer of civilization. At least once this week, run naked through the trees.

Scorpio: You can win the lottery this week, but you have so many reasons not to. This inner struggle will push you towards taking up smoking again.

Sagittarius: The plot thickens at work. Your independent research points towards a conspiracy. You will learn more on Monday, and they will make their first move on Wednesday.

Capricorn: Someone in your dungeon will finally spill their guts. This is a tribute to your foresight and good trade craft.

Aquarius: Somehow, your resistance just makes the opposition stronger. This is the spiritual moment in your quest when you throw yourself into the abyss and are saved by angelic forces.

Pisces: You will win the lottery with a ticket you buy on Monday. Maybe buy three, you will feel better until you get the results.

Yet Not Soon Enough

Monday, August 6th, 2018

The Ginsburger is hanging on longer than untreated toe fungus, and she may think she’s going to last another 4 years, but an angel of death told The Mayor personally that she’s due. May as well start shoveling dirt on that fossil..

The Mayor is returning to The Manor right after Laborious Day.

The alt-Fiscal Conservative Movement

Wednesday, September 20th, 2017

Sure is hard being a fiscal conservative right around now. Yup. People get all steamy eyed and their yap gets flapping about alt-right. Well, you know and I know that being a fiscal conservative and being alt-right are not the same thing, but those other people, the ones whose brain is in hibernation after one glopp-o burger and fizzy sugar drink at Bum Burger, well, their brain is too swimming in beef fat to be nuanced. Why bother? Voting does not matter anyway. All the parties are the same. Yes, well, the fiscal conservative movement, under our Glorious Leader, the Mayor of Mitchieville, has risen to this existential challenge.

How about a different name? Like progressive for Bolshevik? Great idea. And, like a pinch of cardamom improves the cinnamon, a little change in agenda. So, alt-fiscal conservative! And, instead of running shotgun over Stalinist bureaucrats spending; how about infiltrating into the gravy train and redirecting the fiscal fertilizer back into the hands of tax payers? What an image.

Black History Month usurped by International Women’s Day in Mitchieville

Wednesday, March 8th, 2017

Double dipping never got better.

Albertan Communist’s

Monday, March 6th, 2017

Sometimes you get a picture in your mind of what you think something should look like, but then reality hits you square in the gob and it turns out that what you thought was, isn’t.

When The Mayor was a little child, he use to think that commies were hard and tough guys who broke skulls and stuck knives into truck tires for no reason other than they could.

But as you get older, things start coming together and you meet a few of these people that once shaped your mental pictures – like commies. All of a sudden, you not only not fear them, but you start feeling sorry for them, as you figure out they are not only weak, but relatively stupid and have horrible social skillz. They probably smell terribly, as well.

Kind of like those antifa losers. The Mayor read an article a while back that said the antifa were training in the martial arts. The Mayor is sure many youngin’s (and a few oldens) read the same article and thought, “oh noes, our side of the political spectrum are in deep trouble now”.”Oh noes, the antifa probably know jujitsu.” The thing is with fighting, unless you are a fighter, knowing a martial art will get you nowhere.

Like the saying goes, “the last guy talking always loses the fight.” The antifa are made up of mostly rich kid losers who can only do damage when surrounded by like-minded simpletons. Like internet tough guys you run into on any message board. On their own though, that’s another story. When you get them one-on-one, it’s like you’re Ike Turner and antifa bitch is your Tina.

The only thing to fear is fear itself. Wow, The Mayor just made that one up, too. This turned out to be a pretty impressive post. First The Mayor posts dinosaur chickens and now an antifa post which is sure to win The Mayor a buttload of blog awards in some form.

Have a nice night.

Black History Month in Mitchieville

Friday, March 3rd, 2017

Black History Month in Mitchieville

Wednesday, March 1st, 2017

The funding has moved on, but here in Mitchieville we are oozing happiness at the fine harvest of white guilt money we raked in for submitting creative, ebonical accounting paperwork to various ability challenged progressive ruling administrations. Thanks for the cash!

Black History Month in Mitchieville

Sunday, February 26th, 2017

Black History Month in Mitchieville

Saturday, February 25th, 2017

Black History Month in Mitchieville

Friday, February 24th, 2017