Archive for the ‘News’ Category

Philippines Total Global Warming Disaster Watch

Saturday, November 9th, 2013

Like you, my bowels have been loosened by the news coming out of the Philippines. Not only is this completely unexpected climactic event complete proof of the existence of Global Warming, but it also highlights the systemic racism of Canadian society. I am disgusted. My poly-gendered neighbor’s nanny has shared with me many anecdotes of the perfect culture and society that is that island paradise. Her uncle (here for hip replacement) has added a layer of sunshine to our community that dispels the gloom of this Canadian climate.

For you Mitchievillians, a word of warning: do not be deceived by cynical, evil, right white wing extremists in their agenda of hate. These loathsome Christians could use pictures from Philippines Typhoon 2012 for Philippines Typhoon 2013. The swine.

I want you to show you care. This disaster highlights the needs for more social spending in Mitchieville. The Mayor’s pet project, the extension to the Mayor of Mitchieville Memorial Aquatic Center, needs funds. Do you care? I care. Insufficient volume of federal and provincial confiscated funds have found their way into the clutches of the Mayor of Mitchieville Memorial Aquatic Center funding committee. Without additional funding I am afraid that the Global Warming Awareness Sauna will remain inadequately paneled in poplar, and fresh birch branches unavailable for patrons, in keeping with Finnish tradition. There is a need for a diversity of towels (bath towel size, hand towels, and wash cloths) that borders on genocide.

Please, please help. Send your money to me, Fenris Badwulf. I care.

Remembering Aaron Swartz

Wednesday, October 30th, 2013

Mitchievillians, take a moment an remember Aaron Swartz. You know, that guy. To refresh your memory, an excerpt from one of his many obits.

The Economist, in a teary eyed obituary, casts doubts on the meme that prosecution sent the activist Aaron on his trail of self destruction:

The prospect of prison may or may not have been what pushed the 26-year-old, long struggling with bouts of depression, over the edge. Opinions varied as to whether prosecutors could secure a conviction.

If only Obamacare had been in effect then. He could have gotten affordable treatment for his depression. And, given Aar’s legendary computer skills, the Obamacare website would work.

I care. I am going to continue to remember Aaron Swartz.

No Pension for you

Tuesday, September 24th, 2013

In the ongoing spectacle that is the transformation of Western Civilization from racist shit hole to Third World paradise, one is always intrigued by the slow strangulation of the work ethic. In this case, the digestion of private wealth to serve the statist agenda. For your amusement, the news that Poland has gobbled up half of their pension assets. Research. Enjoy.

Of course, it would never happen here. Ha ha ha.

Monday, September 2nd, 2013

Just who the heck is Dick Gherkin? He was a character in an obscure Limey television show back in the last century. Guess what? ‘Dick Gherkin’ is applying for a job at Mitchieville Municipal. As I, Fenris Badwulf, am Human Resources Jefe for Mitchieville, all job applications cross my desk: for study, contemplation, termination, and sometimes, approval. Who the heck is Dick Gherkin? Who dares uses an assumed identity to seek out employment, pension, and benefits in Mitchieville? (more…)

Fenris Badwulf, caring person

Tuesday, August 6th, 2013

Ah, the satisfaction of heading out for a drive on an otherwise busy day. Some of us here in Toronto (the City of Light) have the Civic Holiday off work. There are festivities planned … public stuff to keep the neverworkers from looting, and private parties for friends and family. For my part, I like to mix both: I head out for a drive through the quiet streets of Toronto with a few friends. We take turns turning left, or just stopping in traffic to listen to music * . We laugh and laugh.

A recent guest of mine suggested we raise awareness about Dooring Cyclists. What the heck is that? What is dooring a cyclist? Apparently, it is when a parked car opens its door and a passing cyclist hits it, the door. This was explained to me quite clearly. A parked car. What if the car is in motion? What if the passenger, say, opens his door as a car overtakes a cyclist? There is a satisfying thump, some screeching of bending spokes on invincible steel, and the final vision of some brought low white racist who has finally come to terms with his/her/it’s guilt over the murder of Trayvon Martin. After all, bicycles are instruments of white oppression … how often do you see darkie on a bike? But ka-bonging a cyclicist with a door from a moving vehicle is not dooring.

What if it is not a door that hits the racist oppressor cyclist? It cannot be dooring, then can it? You can tailgate a bicycle such that you bung up their rear wheel, or just stop suddenly when they are behind you. Thumps and crumpling occurs. But it is not the door the hits the cyclist, but the bumper, hood, or side view mirror. This cannot be dooring, per se. And, like the unsportsmanlike conduct that is using steriods, equipping your car with spring loaded beams, sweeping sawzalls, or high voltage wallopers, is not really Olympic quality dooring. Such is what I said to my guest from Calgary, a plumber with too much time on his hands.

There is an underground interest in the sport of dooring. Assembly drawings are available for a diversity of devices that spring out, harpoon, or apply electric shock. The capacitor device looks like desk top computer box: it is really filled with capacitors (salvaged, recycled, from televisions), and provides a few tens of thousands of volts potential across two arms which can be sprung out by remote control. The capacitors are slow to recharge, taking a few minutes; but the entertainment provided lasts hours. And it is a victimless crime: the high voltages used usually erase the memory of the cyclist; the plastic arms easily retract upon impact so there is minimal tissue injury. As for the cartwheeling and intertwining of body and cycle that occurs later, well, that is Gaia’s doing. I am never responsible for my actions, after all. As for the harpoon side to the sport, developing the skill to fire a steel bolt (a re-worked railway spike, say) into the spokes, chain, sprocket, or cranium, takes too much effort except for the most serious Jack the Ripper behind the wheel.

Really, as responsible activists searching out for more tax revenue, more regulations, and tighter social control, we need to raise awareness about dooring. I recall the successful propaganda campaigns of the haters of the seal hunt. They went out and butchered a seal themselves, filmed it. It is going to take some grisly events to get our sluggish state to spend more money on this issue, to hire bureaucrats, and fund studies for consultants to write. Something grisly. But for a good cause.

I, Fenris Badwulf, wrote this. I care.

Remembering Trayvon

Monday, August 5th, 2013

No, this is not Trayvon Martin as he really was. This is Trayvon Martin as the racists wish to depict him. And, given the endemic racism inherent to Amerikkkan society, it is very much likely that Trayvon, if he had survived the murderous racist white-Mexican-American night ambush, would have followed the statistically likely path towards crime and prison. And ended up looking like this prison tattooed specimen. No stereotypes are true, except for inbred southern whites. Anyway, the death toll mounts, of blacks killed by white-blacks, white-Mexicans, white-cops, and white-whatevers. Check it out.

When a woman argues it is because Satan is possessing her

Monday, August 5th, 2013

That Satan, pushing his plans for Total World Domination. Watch out for those statists pushing Lithium in the drinking water. They could put it in your beer, or your tequila.

A hundred years in the making

Sunday, August 4th, 2013

Looking back on my education in socialism by my activist teachers in Ontario, I recall receiving many gems of progressive thought. Math, Science, and English grammar, not much; after all, what purpose is an education but an indoctrination in the Global Warming science of Socialism? Anyway, Comrade Canadians (voters all, citizens some …) one of the treasured books that were the pillar of mathematics and science was The Guns of August by what’s her name, the broad who wrote that book. I am rereading the book. One of the sentiments (of doom, of the tragedy of imperialism [the highest form of capitalism, comrades!], of the evils of allowing white men to have guns … ) is that the First World War set the stage for world history for a hundred years. Well, my fellow Unhyphenated-Canadians, if you count on your fingers, you will see that the hundred year mark is coming up soon, in a year. (For Hyphenated-Canadians, teacher will tell you the answer[s] so that you will be equal to the inbred cracker rednecks).

So, what is being undone from the hundred year shadow of the First World War?

Germany is no longer a big meanie. Certainly German war guilt is fading. Obviously the perfidious Israelites are taking their place. I can find people who will tell me that the horrors found in Israel today are worse than the horrors found in the Nazi state. Being stripped naked for roll call (twice a day) at Auschwitz, eating rotten cabbage soup, and being made into soap is but a walk in the park compared to the present day horrors found in Apartheid Israel. After all, our present day victims are denied choice in their banquets and buffets.

I could go on and on, but in a country without freedom of speech, it is best to keep your mouth shut. None the less, faithful readers of Mitchieville, you have a year to contemplate the New Age to come, the truly post world war one period.

I, Fenris Badwulf, wrote this. I care.

Fenris Badwulf caring person

Wednesday, July 3rd, 2013

OK, I think that putting Lithium in other peoples’ water is a good idea. I admit it. If the people of British Columbia think it OK, it should be OK with you. Only an insensitive bastard, er, fatherless, er, well, white-identified racist, would be opposed to putting Lithium in the water. Actually, Bastard-Canadians and Fatherless-Canadians are a misunderstood group, and victims of oppression. By ‘bastard’ and ‘fatherless’ I was alluding to racists, who tend to over value such things as family, effort, skill, and determination. Family-less, effort-less, skill-less, and/or determination-void cultural traits are as equal as anything any white culture has come up with. So, Lithium in the water. It is coming, thanks to the same sort of scintillating intellect that thinks Trudeau the Second would make a good leader. You are outnumbered. This being so, I took this as permission to start doping up other peoples’ water (and drinks, and food) with Lithium. I care.

Your neighbors are going to get Lithium in their drinking water. You should get on the band wagon and start putting Lithium in first. Try it on other people and see what happens. You are spreading progressive sunshine, but with a manure fork instead of a tea spoon. Your boss at work, some co-workers, or even that stranger you picked up hitchhiking deserve happiness.

More Wretched Pride

Sunday, June 30th, 2013

There is no crime during Pride. Kinda makes you proud, eh? Crime only happens when the Media allows you to perceive it.

Let us not go looking for it
, shall we? If you do, you can find it here. Unless you are looking for some sort of video only seen by journos type crime, which is brought to you by the same people, again.

The Future Perfect World

Sunday, June 16th, 2013

Gun Control looms on the horizon of the West. The Future Perfect world is here. There are more tapeworms, mosquitoes, and bedbugs than humans to feed upon. The anemic tax payers are starting to squeek, to move from high crime, high tax, high diversity areas to places less like the future and more like the past. The tax spenders, well, they just exist. Who wants to be like them? Besides, I do not speak never-English, celebrate literacy, and am intolerant of bedbugs. I cannot crawl out of my white skin which has Racist written on it. This is the Future Perfect World, where Mud People gather by the tribal campfire to squat in wisdom, and my confiscated income funds it all. Alliance with terrorists? Check! Watched by the State? Check! No Go N-people areas in my home town? Check! (more…)

Man Meets Man, Men Become Women, Women Beat Up Women Who Want To Be Men – Diversity Rocks!

Wednesday, June 5th, 2013

This is one of the few times The Mayor has needed both a calculator and the Urban Dictionary to figure out what the hell an article was about:

In what has been described as a “horrifying” incident two women were attacked  by a group of men who identified themselves as “transgender women” at the Portland State University “Law and Disorder Conference” which billed itself as a “provocative space for comparative critical dialogue between activists, revolutionaries, educators, artists, musicians, scholars, dancers, actors and writers”.

The women were attacked in a coordinated assault as they sat at a table which sold feminist books and literature. The men destroyed the books and marked up the table display with permanent markers. One of the women was also marked up by the men. Predominantly male conference onlookers by all reports allowed the attack to take place, watching in stunned silence. Two males affiliated with the same group as the feminists - Deep Green Resistance - were also in attendance and the “trans women” threw a projectile at the head of one of them.

According to reports, the transgender males or “trans women” took issue with the feminist content in the Deep Green Resistance materials. Specifically, a portion of the materials reflected the feminist position that social roles based on sex are undesirable and harmful to women.

The Mayor is a little confused as to what happened, but just as long as these fine folk are still allowed to adopt babies, join the Boy Scouts, and teach our children values, morals, and non-educational things in school, then all is fine.

Notice the highlit part of the article that says the “predominantly male onlookers allowed the attack to take place.” Keep in mind that’s assuming that the male onlookers were actually male.” The Mayor would not rush to judgement on that lest he be taken as a BLTaphobe. Also, even if the males were actually male, which they probably might or could have possibly been or not, why in the world would the onlookers defend feminists against their transgender attackers? That could, or may not possibly so or possibly not, be construed as a sexual hate crime against an oppressed group.

Best leave all the bitches alone and let them slap each other senseless until small trickles of blood drip from their collective noses.

The end.