The first round of the 2011 NHL playoffs are done, and boy are my arms tired! Hahaha.
Wait, that punchline was intended for another joke. Regardless, or as they say in Sudbury, “irregardless”, the first round is in the books. Let’s have a look at how The Mayor’s predictions panned out.
1) Canuckleheads vs Hawks
The Mayor predicted the Canuckleheads would win this in 5, but it took them 7. We’ll call this one a push.
What did we learn from this series? We learned that the Sedin twins are soft and characterless, and like most players that rack up huge points against useless teams in the regular season, when it comes to the playoffs, when it comes to the big games, they fold faster than a deck chair.
We also learned that Raffi Torres is a real piece of shit.
Finally, we learned that a team that The Mayor was cheering for to win the Stanley Cup is now off the list of the team The Mayor wants to win the Stanley Cup. If there is a more soulless, craptastic bunch of babies in the NHL, The Mayor has yet to find them. Even the Leafs, as much as they completely suck, have soul. The Canuckleheads, not so much. I suppose that’s what you get when you fill your team with European androids and general deadbeats (Burrows and Malhotra notwithstanding).
2) Capitals vs Rangers
The Mayor thought the Caps would win in 7, it took them 5. This series was kind of a disappointment, but none-the-less, it’s over now and we got rid of another low rung team. The Rangers are a team of the future though. And they always will be.
3) Red Wings vs Coyotes
The Mayor predicted the Red Wings would take it in 5, they took it in 4. You didn’t have to have a crystal ball to predict that series.
Man, the Wings sure look good. Man, the Coyotes sure look like crap. Phoenix (or Glendale) doesn’t deserve a hockey team and I’ll be glad for Winnipeg when they relocate there next season.
4) Ducks vs Predators
The Mayor’s first out-and-out miss. The Ducks were picked in 6 and lost in 6. No excuses for this one, Nashville is a better team and proved it.
5) Sharks vs Kings
The Sharks were picked in 7, they won in 6. Pretty close. Two good teams, the Kings did well, but, whatever.
6) Flyers vs Sabres
The Mayor predicted the Flyers in 5, they won in 7.
The Mayor was disappointed with the Flyers. The Flyers are a rough team, but The Mayor didn’t think they were a dirty team until he saw them play the Sabres in the first round. What a bunch of classless goons. That hurts to say, considering going into this the Flyers were one of The Mayor favourite teams. That all changed. It was a hard series to watch, the cheap shots kept adding up, the refs and the league dropped the ball as usual (a la Richards), and idiots like Carcillo and Laperriere made it impossible to cheer for the Flyers.
7) Bruins vs Canadians
The Mayor picked the Bruins in 7 and that’s how it ended up. This series was like watching 2 boxers you hate kick the crap out of each other – you don’t care who wins, as long as they spill each others blood.
This was another series that grated on The Mayor’s nerves, and that was due to the fanboy CBC announcers who basically fellated anything Montreal when they had a chance. Montreal is not a good team, but the way the CBC announcers told the story, this was the 1973 Canadiens. Montreal scared 5 goals in the last 2 games – 2 of them were on 5-3, 2 were on the pp, and 1 shorthanded. What an offensive dynamo!
Another thing – Subban in not Bobby Orr. You see, Bobby Orr had and has everything Subban doesn’t: class, style, and the ability to run the whole game from the blue line. Subban is a big-mouth jerkoff who hasn’t earned anything in this league yet. He needs to shut his face and concentrate on being even a decent defenceman. He’s not a decent defenceman yet, as a matter of fact he’s a bad joke.
Which defenceman was on the ice in every Bruin ot win? Subban. Which defenceman was caught out of place during every ot win by Boston? Subban. Which defenceman was on the ice during EVERY Boston big goal? Again, Subban.
Subban can lay out a check, but do you notice how he instinctively cowards away from anything resembling a hit against him? That makes him cough up the puck, time and time again. One day he may be really good, but right now he’s nothing more than a distraction with his stupid antics, he’s a detriment with his poor defencive skillz, and until he learn to control his play he’ll cost Montreal games and series like he did against Boston.
Penguins vs Lightning
The Mayor had Pitt in 7, they lost in 7. Boo hoo. No Crosby, no Malkin, the series still went to 7.
As for the next round:
1) Nashville vs Vacouver
Vancouver in 6
2) Detroit vs San Jose
Detroit in 5
3) Tampa vs Washington
Washington in 6
4) Flyers vs Boston
Flyers in 5
That should do it!
What say you, any predictions for the second round?