Archive for the ‘Orange-faced geeks’ Category

Suntan Week

Thursday, September 9th, 2010

Being the third whitest person in Canada, The Mayor feels the pain of this sunburned cockasian. That’s what you call white people, apparently. Cockasians. That’s how the coppers describe a suspect when they are white. “One Adam 12, be on the look-out for a male, cockasian, between 25-30 years old, brown hair, blue eyes.  Last seen buring a koran.”

Haha, stupid cockasian.

Orange-Faced Geek Week

Friday, March 5th, 2010


I feel that Orange-Faced Geek Week Part Deux never really took off. Maybe it was my bad health that threw things into the crapper, maybe it was lack of a real powerful geek picture, maybe Orange-Faced Geek has been done by every site now and The Mayor couldn’t add any real value to an already exploited meme. Maybe I’m thinking too much about something that has zero relevance in your lives. Perhaps I try too much, perhas I care too deeply, perhaps I love too hard. Yaaaaa, that sounds spot-on.

So I’ll leave you with the biggest Orange-Faced Geek the world has ever seen. Sorry for polluting your ocular cavity. Who knows what the world would have been like if this perfectly coiffed headed, pretty yellow bracelet wearing, fan behind him with eyes like Satan, Orange-faced geek became President of the USA. You folks to the south of us would have had a socialist, Manchurian candidate who hates America as your President.

Oh right…

Orange-Face Geek Week

Thursday, March 4th, 2010


This picture is proof positive that the orange face movement has become quite diverse. No longer is the orange face strictly a Gino phenomenon, but now, as you can see, a global phenomenon.

It’s gone international, folks. It has legs. It WILL be making a stop in your town, it’s just a matter of time. How can you stop it? Only one way.

With soap. Lots and lots of soap. And a really good power washer wouldn’t hurt.

Orange-Faced Geek Week

Wednesday, March 3rd, 2010


I have a feeling these guys know every last word from every Wham! song ever written.

The saddest part of this picture is that the orange faces aren’t the most ridiculous part of their collective ensemble. Yikes, did I just use the word *ensemble*? Man, is my face orange red. Yikes, time for bed.

Orange-Faced Geek Week

Tuesday, March 2nd, 2010



Orange-Faced Geek week has come in like a lion, and after this cartoon I can assure you it’s going to go out like a lamb. As in, it aint gonna get no betta than this.

Look at the lips on that geek. Perfect.

Orange-Faced Geek Week

Monday, March 1st, 2010



Orange-Faced Geek Week is back and it’s worsebetter than ever. Truth be told, I have enough pictures of orange geeks to run about a months worth of posts, but I feel in my heart that just wouldn’t be fair to my kind, sensitive, and sensorial constituents. In other words, there’s only so much of this shit one can take. Ya, I get it.

I wonder if you removed that dirty mop from that chicks head, chiselled away the 20 lbs of orange geek from her face, and gave her a lesson on how to smile properly, would she turn out to be a good looking woman.

Hahaha, noooooooo.

Welcome to Orange-Faced Geek Week, Part Deux.

Orange Faced Geek Week

Friday, February 20th, 2009

This is Chelsy Davis, the girl that was dating Prince Harry. The Prince and Chelsy split up around the beginning of January after dating for five years for obvious reasons–blue blood doesn’t mix well with orange skin. With all the different colours between them, if they ever had a baby, it could very well turn our chartreuse. I’m pretty sure chartreuse is what you get when you mix blue and orange. It might be mauve, but I’m pretty sure it’s chartreuse.

This mercifully ends Orange Faced Geek Week

Orange Faced Geek Week–Thursday Edition

Thursday, February 19th, 2009

I’m not going to lie to you, it’s been hard on the stomach posting these primates all week. The only thing that saved me is our collective hatred for the orange faced geeks. And now with this newest installment of orangeness, we can see what the end result looks like when a male and female orange faced geek reproduce. Ya, not good. Not good at all.

Orange Faced Geek Week–Wednesday Edition

Wednesday, February 18th, 2009

What are they doing? Seriously, what the hell are these orange faced geeks doing? Is this like some sort of mating call? Are these things breeding? Is there a spray we can use to exterminate them if I find them growing in my garden? Answers. I need answers.

Orange Faced Geek Week–Tuesday Edition

Tuesday, February 17th, 2009

I honestly don’t know why these people are orange. I’ve been racking my brain trying to figure it out and all I can come up with is that there’s either something in the water, they were the victims of a chemical spill, or maybe they’ve had too much vitamin C.

Help me out here, throw me a freakin’ bone.

Orange Faced Geek Week–Monday Edition

Monday, February 16th, 2009

How is it that every picture I have (I have 6 pictures) of an orange face geek, he is always surrounded by nice looking women? Did I miss something along the way where it’s now fashionable in dating circles for women to be attracted to guys that don’t even look human? Take these two raving spectacles for instance. By all accounts, guys with orange faces and matching sailor shirts should be hanging on meat hooks in a New Jersey warehouse, yet here they are mingling among the living with what looks like barely a care in the world.

It’s not fair, living should be for humans, not for walking plagues like these two lugans.

Orange-Faced Geek Week

Monday, February 9th, 2009

When the impending revolution comes and we take up arms against our fellow citizens, before I go hunting me some of them socialist douches, I intend to cull a few of the orange-faced creatures from the earth. After I take care of a gaggle, or flock, or herd, or pod, or whatever they like to call their groups, I’m going to off the women that go out with them. I want to make sure that I not only take care of the source, but the enablers that feed the source.

I’m talking crazy talk now, I know, but you try typing out a post with a belly full of whiskey and an eye-full of cigar smoke.