Archive for the ‘Pamela Anderson’ Category

Leif Garrett Pleads No Contest To Heroin Possession

Tuesday, October 19th, 2010

Leif Garrett has been sentenced to a court-ordered drug treatment program after pleading no contest to heroin possession:

Former teen heartthrob Leif (LAYF) Garrett has pleaded no contest to heroin possession in Los Angeles and will enter a drug rehab program.

The 48-year-old actor-singer entered the plea Friday in Los Angeles and was sentenced to a court-ordered drug treatment program.

Garrett was arrested in February after authorities found him carrying heroin in a Los Angeles subway station.

The Mayor remembers Leif Garrett not so much because of his acting and singing career in the late 70’s and early 80’s, but because at the time, The Mayor was dating a girl who absolutely adored Leif. She was gaga over him, sang every ripped off song he sang, watched every show he was in, and had his picture up on her bedroom wall. Every time Garrett’s face showed up on TV she would get all flustered and her eyes would go as round as saucers. She loved him. I betcha she would have died for him.

Well how about now? Would you still die for him? Would you pull the dirty needle from his diseased arm and shove it into your ocular cavity if it would save his life? How about that, saucer eyes? There’s his picture right there, are you flustered? Well, are you???!!! Answer me, bitch!

~Breathe in, breathe out~ Serendipity now, serendipity now.

I shouldn’t be too hard on my ex-girlfriend, we’ve all had crushes on celebrities at some point in our lives. The Mayor remembers he use to have a crush on a very young and very hot Pam Anderson. But times change and we all move along. As for me, well, I went on to become The Mayor of the 49th fastest growing community in NE Durham Region, Ontario, Canada, North America, The World, The Universe; and as for Pam? Well, we all know what became of her.

Pamela Anderson Had A 9 Year Old Fashion Slave

Wednesday, October 14th, 2009

hollywood style awards 121009

At the Hollywood Style Awards over the weekend, Pamela Anderson shocked awards goers when she recruited a 9 year old girl to hold her dress up all night:

Gault, the daughter of a make-up artist who was said to be working at the event, followed the actress around and even sat on the floor as Anderson took her seat near the catwalk.

According to reports, the audience physically gasped when Anderson took to the stage, turned to Gault and patted her leg, shouting “daughter,” as if she was calling for a pet dog.

A source tells New York gossip column Page Six, “She didn’t even have her own seat and had to sit at Pamela’s feet, where people nearly stepped on her to get to the stage. The girl looked uncomfortable and kept tugging on her dress to get her attention, but Pamela waved her away.”

Another guest adds, “Pamela was telling people it was her daughter. And, after she presented David LaChapelle with an award onstage, she shouted “daughter” in front of the whole auditorium, and slapped her leg like she was calling a puppy. The girl rushed up to grab her train.”

A spokesperson for America’s Child Labor Coalition has now called for investigation into how the 9-year-old came to be “working” as part of Anderson’s entourage.

The rep says, “I would want to speak to the child to ask her if it is something she willingly did. Nine is very young, and an awards ceremony is a long time for a child to be out holding a dress.”

It’s not like I need another reason to hate Pamela Anderson, but yet this is another reason to hate Pamela Anderson.

This story should give you good insight into the feeble mind of Pamela Anderson and the PETA crowd. Pamela Anderson would chain herself to a fence and go without food for three weeks in order to bring attention to the way alligators are exploited in Florida Gator Farms, but yet has no problem exploiting a 9 year old girl for hours on end, treating her like crap, and then calling for the kid as if she’s some sort of mutt, all for a few shits and giggles.

I totally get why Pam Anderson would do this though: It’s all about attention. While most actresses that have been in Hollywood for 30 years actually have a portfolio to be somewhat proud of, Pam Anderson was never close at being a decent actress, she was only made famous because in the 80’s, guys seemed to get turned on by chicks with fake breasts and silicone faces. Anything Anderson once had that resembled beauty is now long gone. Now she has a face that looks like a piece of roasted chicken that fell out of  The Mayor’s car two weeks ago – half eaten by feralcats and surrounded by fruit flies. Doing what Anderson did to this little girl is despicable, but she sure doesn’t see it that way. If plastic face can get even one more night of attention by useless Hollyweird zombies, then it is totally worth it to her.

Fin.

Pamela Anderson–What The Hell?

Tuesday, August 26th, 2008


What in God’s name has happened to Pamela Anderson? I thought getting fake tits, fake lips, fake hair, and Hep C was suppose to keep one looking fresh and attractive? I suppose my theory was wrong. Pamela Anderson has slowly morphed into something that resembles a product Maple Leaf foods packaged in around August 21 of this year.

The 5 Best Things Aboot Canada

Wednesday, November 7th, 2007

POUTINE

PAMELA ANDERSON

CROWN ROYAL

PIERRE TRUDEAU HOCKEY

MITCHIEVILLE

Click to vote Mitchieville for Best Canadian Blog
(we would vote for you as long as you weren’t competing against us)

Pamela Anderson is Still Bouyant–And Diseasy

Wednesday, June 20th, 2007


I don’t know if I’ve ever used the word *Comical* to describe a woman’s breasts before, but I can’t help thinking that Pamela Anderson’s breasts look like what a 13 year old pre-pubescent boy would draw on a scrap of paper to make his little giggly-assed virgin friends laugh. Even though I take a few shots at Pamela Anderson now and then (only because she’s an idiot), I have to say that her breasts have withstood the test of time. And when silicon reaches $60 an ounce, she’ll have the last laugh, as she’ll have enough dough tied up in her left breast to buy Guyana. That’s right, I said Guyana.

Thanks Drunken Stepfather!

Pamela Anderson-If At First You Don’t Succeed

Tuesday, March 13th, 2007

Reports out of Los Angeles has Pamela Anderson romantically involved with an old beau. No, it’s not Kid rock again. No, it’s not Scott Baio. It’s that other idiot:

Pamela Anderson and rocker Tommy Lee have sparked reports they have rekindled their romance after being photographed kissing after a cosy lunch in Los Angeles.

Anderson split from Kid Rock last November after four months of marriage and has always remained close to her ex-husband Lee.

We all know that Pamela Anderson is a member of PETA. As a humanitarian and an animal lover, I am asking PETA to please let us put Pamela Anderson to sleep, it’s the only humane thing to do.

I’ll give you 9 reasons why Pamela went back with Tommy Lee

Pamela Anderson and Kid Rock Are No More—Boo Hoo

Tuesday, November 28th, 2006

Pamela Anderson and Kid Rock have filed for divorce. And the world is shocked I tells ya, shocked: Sources tell TMZ both Pam and Kid were in a race to get their papers filed first.

The process server for Kid was at the courthouse when it opened at 8:30 AM and filed five minutes later.

Pam’s website offers a short statement confirming the divorce, saying “Yes, it’s true. Unfortunately impossible.”

I liked the idea of these two being together, it meant that they were only spreading their filthy diseases to each other. Now they are apart and Kid Rock won’t be stuffing Pamela like a Thanksgiving turkey anymore, they are both free to go out into the world and infect what is left of this happy, pure planet.

That’s why it’s good idea to vote The Mayor on December 25. I’m completely against STD’s and don’t wish them upon anyone. Unlike Lisa. She’s for them. She can’t get enough of them and wishes them on everyone. And that’s not right.

They nearly made it 4 whole months!

Pamela Anderson is Traumatized

Monday, May 8th, 2006

Pamela Anderson’s passion for saving the worlds animals derives from recurring childhood nightmares that haunt her to this day:

I just happened to walk into the shed behind our house on Vancouver Island a few moments after my dad had returned from a hunting trip. “I opened the door and looked up. And there, hanging upside down, was the cutest deer. Or it had been the cutest deer. Its fur and its body were really drenched in blood. “I can remember shrieking and running as fast as I could. I don’t blame Dad and never will. Hunting is what men, Canadian men in particular, do. But the sight of that deer is a nightmare that has never left me.”

I feel for Pamela, for I share similar recurring nightmares of a scene that is close to her own experience.

It happened when I was about eight years old. My father had been spending the day hunting in Scarborough, around the Markham and Lawrence area. I came inside from a day of playing and saw my mother and father eating baby carrots at the kitchen table. I screamed in horror, the thought of poor baby carrots being torn away from their momma’s, and eaten alive made me sick to my fragile tummy. I tried to turn away but I froze like a baby carrot in the headlights, I can still see the orange skin of the poor baby carrot being torn away by my parents sharp, razor-like fangs.

To this day I still can’t eat vegetables, the thought of it makes me vomit. Shit, I just vomited because I thought about it again. Damn it, I just puked again, I really have to get that image out of my mind. For the love of Christ, I can’t stop barfing, this is truly disgusting. I need to settle down and…here we go again…excuse me, this is horrible, I must apologize.

I think the only thing that’s going to settle me down right now is if I go cook myself up some wolf, ya, that’ll do it.

I feel your pain, Pamela

Yet another Use My Computer pic

Pamela Anderson Tries to Be Smart

Sunday, April 2nd, 2006

Pamela Anderson, who, instead of filling her mouth with STD infected has-been rock stars, decided to fill her mouth with ridiculous talking points against the Canadian seal hunt:

“I don’t know how popular he is with young people (Stephen Harper,Canadian Prime Minister) but this is a great way to get popular with them because there’s not one young person, I think, in Canada that agrees with the seal hunt.”

It must have taken quite a while for Pamela Anderson to compile a list of every single young person in Canada and come to the conclusion that there is not one single person who agrees with the seal hunt. That my friends, is the epitome of hard work and dedication.

“I think when people think of Canadian club they should think of a good whisky, not jerks beating pups on the ice,” quipped Anderson.

I’m pretty sure that when people think of Canadian Club whiskey that they aren’t thinking about people beating seals to death on the ice. Mind you, after about two handfuls of whiskey I usually do think of beating seals to death on ice. As a matter of fact, I’ve had a few whiskeys this afternoon, and I’m seriously contemplating flying to Newfoundland and smashing in the heads of a couple dozen seal pups, mostly for shits and giggles.

The reason that no one with any functioning brain cells can possibly take Pamela Anderson seriously is because Pamela has been abusing and poisoning her own puppies with silicone and poison for years. Pamela should stick to what she knows best: Deep throating tattooed disease-filled scumbags, and showing off her fake tits. When I want to hear what Pamela Anderson thinks, I’ll knock on the top of her head and ask. Until then, shut the hell up Pamela and take off your clothes.

Pamela Anderson is smart. Just kidding.

Trish Stratus Challenges Pamela Anderson

Monday, March 6th, 2006

Trish Stratus, from WWE fame, has thrown down the gauntlet at Pamela Anderson’s feet:

“I could totally kick Pam’s ass,” Stratus said yesterday.

A few words to Trish: You are about to get into a fight with someone who has more disease than Rwanda. Get vaccinated.

I suggest this fight take place in my bedroom/octagon. To make things interesting, I suggest that the floor of my bedroom/octagon be littered with thumb tacks and shards of broken glass. Death metal will be the only music played, and normal UFC rules will not apply.

The winner of this fight must actually kill the other person, but not before the two combatants engage in random acts of homosexuality. Points will awarded for style, and pictures will be taken at random.

After I take of my executioners hood, peel myself off the bed and clean up, I will stand to my feet and applaud Trish Stratus for beating Pamela Anderson to death, and declare her the winner.

Things like this are just meant to be.

Let’s get ready to rumble, bitches!

Pamela Anderson marries Tommy Lee…again

Tuesday, July 19th, 2005

I’m going to need an abacus soon to keep track of how many times this has happened, but Pamela Anderson and Tommy Lee are getting hitched again.

July 19, 2005 — PAMELA Anderson is hoping her third wedding with Tommy Lee will be the charm. Lee, who has already walked down the aisle twice with Anderson popped the question again on Friday at the Palms Hotel & Casino in Las Vegas.

Although I’ve been married five times, I at least have the decency to never have married the same woman twice, let alone three times. Sure, I’m a glutton for punishment, but I’m not a glutton for punishment from the same broad over and over again.

I have to admit, I really like Pam Anderson, and it has nothing to do with her ginormous breasts. I’m kidding, of course it has to do with her ginormous breasts, why else would someone possibly like her, because of her acting abilities and her brain? C’mon, get real.

Most people live by the adage “once bitten, twice shy”, but not Pammy, she goes by the adage “hit me once, shame on me, hit me twice, shame on me, hit me three times, shame on me”.

The next time Pamela Anderson is mentioned on the pages of Mitchieville, rest assured it will be a link to the new sex video her and Tommy made that they didn’t want released.