Ya, instead I’ll have a bottled water and a toothpick.

Even celebrity moose knuckle can’t class this segment up any. Especially when The King is sportin’ a hunka hunka burning little knuckles betwixt his tights.

No, thank you very much.

You would think by now, everybody would know that nothing good ever comes from hanging around Freddie Kruger. Oh sure, he may seem all cool, listening to Bryan Ferry on his flashy new Sony Walkman, but the minute he steps out onto that resort cottage way up north, consider yourself dead. DEAD!

I’m not sure why kids nowadays don’t know about something I would consider public knowledge. Maybe it’s due to their lack of access to state-controlled television outlets. That’s my guess. If only kids would watch more tv…

Bloomberg - U.S. Economy: Pending Sales of Existing Homes Decline

Politico - First-term Rep. Eric Massa announced Wednesday that he will not seek reelection, saying his doctors have told him that he can’t continue to “run at 100 miles an hour.”  But several House aides told POLITICO that the House ethics committee has been informed of allegations that the New York Democrat, who is married with two children, made unwanted advances toward a junior male staffer.

Before It’s News - Since 2001, The U.S. Has Lost 42,400 Factories, 90,000 More Set to Close

Before It’s News - Fannie to Buy up to 200,000 Delinquent Mortgages in March

Global Economic Analysis - Range of snow impact on jobs, have your snow job decoder ting handy?

The Economic Collapse - The 2009 Financial Report Of The U.S. Government Is Out - America’s Economic Goose Is Cooked

Money & Markets -The Senate on Wednesday rejected a proposal by President Barack Obama to give people on Social Security a $250 bonus check.

The Automatic Earth -  Swaps and robbers

Business Insider - Why The Situation In Japan Is About To Get A Lot Worse

Fashion, like art, is subjective. One man’s filthy, smelly, crack-smokin’, lice infested street urchin is another man’s suave, sophisticated, snausage sucking, pathetic little effeminate girlie man.

Who wears a bike helmut.

Seeing as though Mitchieville’s Cabinet Members and Senatorial leadershave this week’s Hump Day Hotties well taken care of, I thought I would switch gears and add a new element to the HHH meme ‘o theme.

We’ve all experienced this before: you see a person who you immediately classify as a hottie, only to see them at again at a different time and place and realize that they aren’t a hottie at all, that they are in fact more of a Not-E. What the devil happened? When did this Not-E transformation occur? Did your eyes deceive you? Is the Lord playing pranks with your vision? Or is the Hottie/Not-E playing some sort of Jedi mind trick with your brain?

When I think of a Hottie/Not-E, Liv Tyler comes to mind. I look at this picture and think that she is certainly a hottie. She looks like a tall, refreshing drink of Fanta. Then I see this picture and to me it looks like she just escaped from a frozen lake and is now on her way to murder teenage campers at a remote resort in Northern Ontario.

What the dillio is going on? Damn you and your Jedi mind trick, Liv Tyler. Mind you, it’s obvious what happened in picture #2, the Not-E pic. Someone took away the trowel and the gallon on animal fat that Liv uses to freshen up her long, distorted face every morning, and replaced it with a cold, hard dose of reality. Damn you, reality, damn you and your Jedi mind trick.

I’m not saying Liv Tyler isn’t pretty, because she is. I’m saying that her official classification of a Hottie should be replaced by the official classification of a Not-E.

Mind you, the Hottie/Not-E debate is subjective, as beauty often is. However, not agreeing with The Mayor on this one indicates you have no taste. That’s another hard dose of reality for you. A hard pill to swallow, as pill swallower’s like to say.

So there you go, another post in the books, another raging debate ready to rage. It’s Wednesday, and I haven’t taken a shower yet and it’s already 9:30 am. I thought I’d let you in on how things are progressing in the higher echelons of Mitchieville this morning.

Wow, I didn’t know Lilith Fair was back in town already.

A party isn’t a party until children start draining the nectar from a ponch-bellied, fig leaf wearin’, barrel totin’, Swedish man’s fluffenheimer. All those bases are covered? Then rock on!

Kitler was never the most popular cat. As a matter of fact, all the cats hated his kitten guts. You see, Kitler was very territorial. Kitler would move into another cats territory, stay there, and never leave. He acted like he owned the joint.

Kitler’s long gone now. Sure, there are the rumours about where he went, blah blah blah, but no one really knows where Kitler is. Some say Kitler manifests himself in the souls of other living kittens. The Mayor tends to buy into that theory. Then again, The Mayor is a borderline alcoholic.

**Picture courtesy of Cats That Look Like Hitler

It was a solid career move forthe young man to let Hitler take his seat. Sure, he’s not going to get the drumstick or any cranberry sauce this year, but on the bright side he won’t get a bullet to the noggin either. Cranberry sauce or bullet to the noggin? “Can I get you some more wine, Mr. Hitler?’”

One man locked inside a small steel box for 30 days and 30 nights with £30,000 cash.

Find him and win the money.

The twist is that he doesn’t know where he is. He was blindfolded and driven around in a car for 10 hours before being put in the box. All he has been told is that his location is somewhere that is meaningful to him - a place that he has been before - a place of personal significance in the UK.

With live streaming from 2 cameras inside the box 24 hours a day, watch him as he attempts to recall all the places he has been over the past 35 years. Can you work out where the box is and win the money before he cracks up? Its FREE TO PLAY and you can enter as many times as you like.

**Thanks to Bits & Pieces

I had a stir fry tonight for dinner, first time I’ve ever tried one. It wasn’t strictly a vegetable stir fry, although there were vegetables in it, of course. It had some sliced pork, broccoli, sugar peas, carrots, mushrooms, bean sprouts and some delicious sauce. I have to say, although I’m not a big vegetable guy, it was pretty delicious. It’s funny how I’ve gone decades without ever trying a stir fry because I thought it sounded sissyish, but then all of a sudden I try it and I end up liking it. Funny how things work out like that. Granted, it’s not something I would eat all the time, but maybe once or twice a month.

I hope you had a lovely day.

Is your child suffering from a blocked nasal cavity? Is he/she/it finding it hard to breathe? Well now you can relax, because help is on the way.

The new Syphonator 5000 from Fenproducts is the newest, bestest way to unclog your child’s congested proboscis. Simply slip one end of the Siphonator 5000 into your child’s nostrils, and slip the other end of the Syphonator 5000 into your mouth and suck. And suck. And suck your child’s mucus away. Say goooooodbye epithelial cells, leukocytes and esophageal secretions, and say hello to fresh air and unclogged cavities.

You always said you would take a bullet for your child; you always said you would die for your child; you always said that if you could, you would take your child’s sufferings and make them your own. Now it’s time to walk the walk, now is the time to suck the gunk.

The Syphonator 5000, in better stores near you.