Archive for the ‘Photo of the Day’ Category

Sounds Legit

Friday, May 24th, 2013

Give the old bird a call on her Obamaphone©, she has unlimited minutes.

Ice Storm Central

Friday, April 12th, 2013

Today’s ice storm battered Mitchieville harder than an ex wife beating the snot out of her ex husband after he was 15 minutes late with the child support cheque. Yes, it was THAT terrible.

The Mayor doesn’t have any pictures of downed trees, or 20 car pile-ups, or even a solitary picture of an old hag breaking her hip and laying in the slushy crap Mommy Nature gave to us today, so you”ll just have to take The Mayor’s word for it that things got ugly fast. Sure, maybe not as ugly as the thought of watching Michael Moore gnaw on a double cheeseburger and large fries, but bad enough, lets me tells ya!

It’s great to have the site up again, it’s even greater knowing that you have come back to read The Mayor’s nonsense. Which reminds The Mayor – get a life, people!

“Disenfranchised Youth” Riot For Third Straight Day

Thursday, March 14th, 2013

Still reeling from the effects of Colonialism in Africa and the chronic underfunding of social services for the inner-cities, youth of no particular colour clashed with Brooklyn po po for the third straight night:

At least 18 were arrested as fights between cops and angry teens erupted in East Flatbush. Police struggled to control a furious crowd that broke away from a planned peaceful vigil.

Protesters enraged over the fatal shooting of a teenager by police poured into Brooklyn streets for a third straight night Wednesday, pitching bricks, bottles and garbage in furious clashes with cops.

At least 18 demonstrators were arrested along Church Ave. in East Flatbush. Police struggled to control a hostile crowd that broke away from a planned peaceful vigil for Kimani (Kiki) Gray, 16, killed by police on Saturday night.

We need to remember this was a crowd that broke away from a Planned Peaceful Vigil® (not often do the journalistas need to put the word “peaceful” before the word vigil, but in this case they deem it necessary to drill that into our brains.)

Angry over the shooting death of a completely innocent African American (who has been arrested and charged three times in his short 16 years on this earth, and was carrying a loaded gun) by a cop, these same disenfranchised youth robbed, destroyed, and beat a white patron (a Reverend) at a pharmacy the night before:

The journalista didn’t find it necessary to mention the laundry list of convictions this marginalized youth has racked up in his short criminal career; didn’t find the need to tell us little Kimono (or whatever his name is) had a loaded gun at the time when he was shot, and didn’t feel the need to mention the little tyke was a member of the Bloods. The journalista didn’t mention the night before that these same blacks trashed a pharmacy and beat the hell out of a white patron. And by not telling those little morsels of truth, managed to fan the flames of racial hatred just a little more. Made sure to mention the thug was shot in the back, and didn’t include the fact the kid was carrying a loaded gun. Probably an illegal one, oh my!

That’s Journalism 101, dontchaknow.

Also, have a look at the pictures the journalista posted of little Kokomo (or whatever his name is). Isn’t he the sweetest looking thing?

We’re Nearly There

Wednesday, February 20th, 2013

The comments are still down, the sidebar is a mess, but Fenris and The Mayor are now able to post. Better than nothing, The Mayor supposes.

Without enabled comments, think of Mitchieville as the ultimate in quiet time. Now there is no pressure to leave a comment. What’s that? You never commented in the first place? Wow, aint that something.

The picture above represents what the internet God’s have done to Mitchieville’s face. A perfect analogy, and a pretty amazing post, if The Mayor does say so himself.

Ya ya, no comment.

Truth In Advertising

Monday, January 28th, 2013

And the really great thing about Fat & Easy Restaurants© is the ticket you can get punched when you go there. For every 10 Philly steak sandwiches, large fries and sodas you order, you get 10% off your next bypass surgery.

Fat & Easy©, saving YOU money.

Another Oshawa Saturday Night

Saturday, January 26th, 2013

Oshawa Saturday Night

Polish up those cowboy boots you stole from your dead uncle who was laying in his coffin, brush your good two teeth and give your auntie a kiss on the lips as you leave her subsidized townhouse, because it’s another Oshawa Saturday night!

You’ve got $42 left for the month, that’s enough to pay for the cab and a few brownies at the Corral. And look who is waiting for you when you get there – twins Blanche and Mildred!

Time to get drinkin’, Dougie, those twins aint gonna get better looking if you stay sober!

Sex Offender & A Very Bad Boy

Saturday, January 26th, 2013

Fido lashes out and humps because he had such a horrific family upbringing. His momma was a royal bitch, while his father was what is known in the canine world as a “hump & goer.” Sort of like Bill Clinton with a tail (not a piece of tail, but an actual, physical tail).

Fido grew up on his own, and isn’t looking for a hand out, he’s looking for a hand-up. Don’t judge Fido, that’s the last thing he needs. Send him money. Via the Fenris Badwulf School of Telemarketing Excellence.

Spitting Image

Friday, January 25th, 2013

While this young lady isn’t in fact THE Lady Gaga, it’s quite possible she has swallowed portions OF Lady Gaga. The Mayor wouldn’t go as far as saying she ate the entire Gaga, but it’s quite possible the Gaga’s torso is stuck in the tummy of this future Obama voter.

Marketing Done Right

Thursday, January 24th, 2013

As consumers, we are all use to putting up with rampant false advertising. From that perfectly built hamburger you see in the commercial on TV that turns out to look like something your dog just puked up, to the high-tech two-way radios we saw in comic books as kids that turned out to be two Libby’s cans attached by a string. But this, booze and soda, well, not even your lying eyes could possibly have a problem with that.

It’s even smarter than attaching a Lindt chocolate bar to a pack of Maxi-Pads, or hooking up a bottle of Tums to a bag of pork rinds. It’s even smarter than giving away a stomach pump for every subscription to the Oprah Winfrey Network.

Good thinkin’s!

Seems Legit

Monday, January 21st, 2013

Vegetables are so disgusting that even they can’t stand themselves and prefer to be identified as meat.

It’s just a matter of time before fruit does the same thing, and The Mayor can hardly wait until the time he sees “Fruit Pork” on the shelves of his local A & P.

I Have A Dream…And A Side Of Bacon

Monday, January 21st, 2013

If that dream included bottomless coffee, The Mayor would be all over that like white on rice.

Superior Auto Focus

Tuesday, January 15th, 2013

Kudos to the Nikon 42BBB camera, that was able to identify and capture all the rounded globes in the picture. Including the billiard ball in the background.

Look harder, it’s there.