Archive for the ‘Photo of the Day’ Category

MENSA Friday – Gun Control! Edition

Friday, December 21st, 2012

Mitchievillians have spoken loud and clear, and they want Gun Control! And when do they want it? They want it now. Right now. Not tomorrow, but right this very second. The Mayor has received literally millions of emails the last few days demanding Gun Control! The Mayor is listening, and watching, but mostly listening, and what he hears is that Mitchievillians want Gun Control!

Darnell from Cambridge wrote The Mayor and said thusly:

I want Gun Control! I don’t feel safe without it. I don’t want to send my daughter to school because I fear for her life. I want Gun Control! And a ban on peanuts and legumes.

That speaks volumes.

The average citizen is frightened. They cannot operate without governmental assistance. The citizenry is screaming out for more government control, more Gun Control! The Mayor will be happy to control them.

Today’s MENSA Friday Trivia extravaganza is brought to you by Ted’s Liquor in the Front, Poker in the Rear Emporium. Located in the beautiful town of Courtice Ontario. Open 7 days a week, and where every night is half-price chicken wing night.

Let’s git ’er dun! 

1) In what year was Mirror editor Piers Morgan fired , after he conceded that published photos of soldiers abusing an Iraqi were fake.

A) 2007

B) 2004

C) 1776

2)  After being implicated during the Leveson Inquiry by high-profile figures such as Jeremy Paxman, how many claims have been brought against Piers Morgan  in regard to his role in Britain’s phone-hacking scandal?

A) 3

B) 2)

C) 4

D) All of them

3)  The just released Leveson Report describes Piers Morgans testimony in just two words. Are those two words:

A) “All lies”

B) “Utterly unpersuasive”

B) “Hamburger Grease”

4) Which has more hits when entered into Google search?

A) Piers Morgan is a lying piece of shit

B) Piers Morgan is a pompous ass

C) Piers Morgan likes to lick the toilet seats in bus terminals

Wow, that was a rather informative MENSA Friday, wasn’t it?

If the Mayan’s are right, and we have no reason doubt them, we will all be dead meat today. Nice to know you.

Not Living The Dream

Tuesday, December 18th, 2012

The Mayor is absolutely positive that after Obama gets his way and has an assault weapons ban passed that Kevin Mack will no longer feel any negativity about his life. After all, an assault weapons ban IS life. Chin up, Kevin Mack, Obama has your back!

Forward!

If You’re Happy And You Know It

Sunday, December 16th, 2012

But only crap them if you’re happy and you know it and you REALLY want to show it.

Parasites Are Our Future

Tuesday, December 11th, 2012

The Mayor insists, you try it first. No, no, no, please, you go ahead. Your inflammatory bowel disease is far worse than The Mayor’s, so get those parasites into you. The Mayor isn’t suffering from a bleeding rectum and projectile diarrhea like you are, so he’d like you to try the parasite treatment first. After you’re finished, let The Mayor know what it’s like to have parasitic worms crawling around your rectum. What, it damn near killed ‘em? Great to see you still have your sense of humour.

Mitchieville’s Mad Manic MesmErizing Mystery Movie

Tuesday, December 11th, 2012

The year was 1983 and the Rubik’s Cube, Cabbage Patch Kid’s, and Post Smurf-berry Crunch ruled the day. The Mayor was in high school at the time, and you could always spot him by the way he rocked his denim jacket, tight stonewashed jeans, and long layered hair. He had a girlfriend at the time, but for the life of him he can’t remember her name. Although, the name “Hey You”, and “Stupid” seem to come to mind. Actually, her name might have been Stupid. The Mayor believes her name was Stupid.

Today’s movie was released in 1983 – the year of poor fashion taste. There’s a saying that fashion skips every other generation. It skipped The Mayor’s generation, but not before it set it on fire, and then doused it with the urine of ten billion lab rats.

That creepy looking freak in the picture above is no other than Christopher Walken. Brooke Adams was also a notable in this flick, and trust The Mayor, that’s the only time ever that Brooke Adams has been called *notable*.

Directed by David Cronenberg, and released in 1983, here is a brief description of the movie:

Christopher Walken wakes from a coma due to a car accident, only to find he has lost five years of his life, and yet gained psychic powers. Foreseeing the future appears to be a ‘gift’ at first, but ends up causing problems.

The Mayor hates problematic psychic abilities. At first The Mayor’s psychic abilities seemed like a gift, but now they are a pain in the ass. Like the time The Mayor saw into the future, and found out that they will no longer distribute Vanilla Coke to Canada. Talk about problematic. Talk about a life-changer. Screw you, Coke, screw you.

Do you know what this movie is? Do you have psychic abilities that are problematic? Tell The Mayor a problematic psychic story, lean on The Mayor’s ear, he’s here for you. Unless you intend to ramble on about boring stories that have no ending, then maybe it’s best to keep your ridiculous problematic psychic stories to yourself. No one likes a rambler, especially a gifted one. Asshole.

Mila Kunis Without Makeup

Sunday, December 9th, 2012

And this is Mila Kunis WITH makeup. And so is this. And this.

Makeup is a game-changer. There is no doubt about that one bit. Without makeup, Mila Kunis looks like your ordinary hairy East European broad. With makeup, she looks less like an ordinary hairy East European broad.

Either way, if you ever have a say about it, try to get your woman to slap some makeup on her face. It can’t hurt, it can only help, and any woman that says she has a natural look, most likely has a mustache and a face like a can of crushed assholes.

Learned Behavior

Thursday, December 6th, 2012

Most likely learned behavior from watching the Republicans and Democrats argue over the details on how to fix the *fiscal cliff*. Although, to more accurately display their learned behavior, there needs to be more bending over, howling at the moon, and the eating of one another’s feces.

Possibly Racist

Wednesday, December 5th, 2012

Now THAT’S something The Mayor would watch. Right up until the time when the human asks the ape, “And how did that make you feel?” Then it’s right back to watching Duck Dynasty.

iHitler

Monday, December 3rd, 2012

The Mayor isn’t sure how much more proof you need to prove the authenticity of this picture?

Hell, The Mayor even has a picture of iHitler sporting duck lips. He’ll post that for you one day, if you’re good.

It’s Funny Cuz He’s Blind

Thursday, November 29th, 2012

Also funny is that little white dude in the bottom left corner of the picture. He’s not blind or anything, but he’s still funny.

Blowing Bubbles

Wednesday, November 28th, 2012

Here is a newly discovered picture of a young Sandra Fluke. While taxpayers paid for the bubbles, the blowing part was a learned trait. And man, Fluke sure learned that part well…or so the bathroom walls would tell us.

Piece Of Art Or Piece Of Shit?

Monday, November 26th, 2012

“Honey Boo Boo Rendered in Trash” is today’s Piece of Art or Piece of Shit? candidate.

Not since The Mayor first laid his eyes on Dog’s Playing Poker has he been so impressed with an artistic piece of work. The detail, the broad garbage strokes, the eye to detail – this is the real thing, yo!

If you are not familiar with the real life Honey Boo Boo, then God (any God but the Christian God) has spared your soul. And eyes. And heart. However, if you are familiar with her/it, then you know rendering her in garbage couldn’t be more apropos.

You know what The Mayor thinks, but the question remains – what do you think?

Piece of Art or Piece of Shit?