It seems too many mushrooms on a pizza can create a real cloud.
We’ve all heard of a suitcase nuke; a tactical nuclear weapon which uses a suitcase as its delivery method. But a nuclear Tostino? Well, that’s just…ah…ummmm, delicious really.
It seems Oshawa Madge has already seen you with your clothes off. Is that a look of excitement? Terror? Wonderment? All of the above? Or, is she straining her eyes? Could it be possible that the last time Oshawa Madge saw something that small she had picked it out from her teeth?
You are one lucky guy, hooking up with Oshawa Madge. Not just any guy gets to kiss a neck that big. And as an added bonus, this week you won’t be kissing a neck that has an Adam’s apple. You da man, big guy. But remember, treat her like the princess that she is.
Hiyooooooooooo!!!!!!
Big deal, so you have a key and some loose change stuck to your face and chest. It would have been way more impressive had that tire-iron The Mayor threw at you actually stuck. But did it? No, no it didn’t. It BOUNCED off your face. Ya, the amount of blood that spilled from your head was quite impressive, and the way you twitched on the ground made for good theatre; but when the only thing to stick to you afterwards are some gauze pads smothered in hospital tape, well, lady, you lost your title of Magnetic Woman.
Do they even make Mars Bars any more? I think the last time The Mayor had a Mars Bar was back in the early 70’s when my folks and I visited England. What does this have to do with this picture, you ask? Well, for one thing, it took your mind off of it for 14 seconds.
Remember the Mars Bar saying – A Mars Bar a day, helps you work rest, and be gay.
The Mayor is also a big fan of barbed wire cribs. Just one line across the top of the crib will stop your child from falling out. It’s proven, yet some people at Health & Safety Mitchieville seem to have a problem with my idea. I thought it was *all about the children*.
Anyway, Cellophane babies are a great idea. The cellophane keeps them fresh. Need I say more?
That looked pretty impressive until The Mayor noticed that one mangled dog hanging from her maw. Somehow she managed to chew that one dog up, turn it around in her mouth and send it back out is anyones guess. But one thing is for sure: if she didn’t win America’s Got Talent, then The Mayor is swearing off TV for good.
The crazy thing is, that’s not a typo. Nope. He really crapped that beast out. All 215 lbs of it. That’s not Tyler’s record though, not even close. I’d tell you the story of the time Tyler went on safari to go elephant hunting, but I’m afraid you’d vomit up your Frosted Flakes. And if you did that they wouldn’t be gerrrrrrrreat!
The Mayor is pleased to announce that he has finally solved that nasty problem where I would post a picture and nothing would show up on the screens of my fellow Mitchievillians. Sure, it took a few thousand dollars of worth of IT expertise and hours and hours of in-depth computer innard exploration, but all in all I would say it was worth it. The result speaks for itself.
The photo above is one Marc sent to The Mayor about three weeks ago. Every time I see it I bust out laughing. The expression on the mules face is priceless, and I’ll be damned if I can figure out how that midget got his whole arm in there lol. The bystanders look like they’re going to have a stoke, but I suppose if you witness that you’d have a stroke too. That is quite possibly the greatest picture ever!
One thing is for certain, The Mayor is going to get no less than 40 comments on this amazing picture.
I don’t know, that looks awfully fattening.
Seems those cops really like the pants the chubby guy is wearing. Are they Calvin’s?
Having said that, the *pullers’* on both sides should be asking themselves one question and one question only: do we really want to win? I mean, it’s obvious from the picture, the guy being stretched like Elastic Man isn’t exactly the gold standard. You’ll probably have to feed him, too.
It looks as if he’s not a big fan of adults, children, bugs or anything else for that matter.
Typically, the the “red eye effect” is caused by the light of a camera’s flash reflecting from the retina. With this guy though, the red eye effect is actually cause by him being the devil.
Over the past year, Marc from Calgary has sent The Mayor some pretty darn interesting pictures. There is never one central theme with Marc, he seems to have a pretty varied collection of photos. Many of Marc’s photo’s come from Marc’s own camera. Like this one, for instance. Here’s the explanation Marc gave The Mayor about this picture:
30 minutes ago, as I walked in the rain to the No Thrills for cheddar and bread (and lotto tickets…)
is there a gold rush going on?
The Mayor giggles every time he sees this picture, it’s very Canadian (I know it says Oregon, but that don’t mean nuttin’!) I’m just surprised there aren’t two moose hooked up to that wagon.
