Archive for the ‘Pictures’ Category

We’re Nearly There

Wednesday, February 20th, 2013

The comments are still down, the sidebar is a mess, but Fenris and The Mayor are now able to post. Better than nothing, The Mayor supposes.

Without enabled comments, think of Mitchieville as the ultimate in quiet time. Now there is no pressure to leave a comment. What’s that? You never commented in the first place? Wow, aint that something.

The picture above represents what the internet God’s have done to Mitchieville’s face. A perfect analogy, and a pretty amazing post, if The Mayor does say so himself.

Ya ya, no comment.

Spitting Image

Friday, January 25th, 2013

While this young lady isn’t in fact THE Lady Gaga, it’s quite possible she has swallowed portions OF Lady Gaga. The Mayor wouldn’t go as far as saying she ate the entire Gaga, but it’s quite possible the Gaga’s torso is stuck in the tummy of this future Obama voter.

Marketing Done Right

Thursday, January 24th, 2013

As consumers, we are all use to putting up with rampant false advertising. From that perfectly built hamburger you see in the commercial on TV that turns out to look like something your dog just puked up, to the high-tech two-way radios we saw in comic books as kids that turned out to be two Libby’s cans attached by a string. But this, booze and soda, well, not even your lying eyes could possibly have a problem with that.

It’s even smarter than attaching a Lindt chocolate bar to a pack of Maxi-Pads, or hooking up a bottle of Tums to a bag of pork rinds. It’s even smarter than giving away a stomach pump for every subscription to the Oprah Winfrey Network.

Good thinkin’s!

Seems Legit

Monday, January 21st, 2013

Vegetables are so disgusting that even they can’t stand themselves and prefer to be identified as meat.

It’s just a matter of time before fruit does the same thing, and The Mayor can hardly wait until the time he sees “Fruit Pork” on the shelves of his local A & P.

I Have A Dream…And A Side Of Bacon

Monday, January 21st, 2013

If that dream included bottomless coffee, The Mayor would be all over that like white on rice.

American Rates Of Travel

Tuesday, January 15th, 2013

And then when you get there the guy at the door tells you that your buddy moved a week ago. The Mayor hates that.

Goldmembersingh

Wednesday, January 9th, 2013

In order to impress the ladies, Datta Phuge of Pimpri-Chinchwad (or Chad, as he is known to his drinking buddies), ordered a custom-made $23,000 gold shirt:

He’s quoted as saying, “I know I am not the best looking man in the world but surely no woman could fail to be dazzled by this shirt?” It took 15 goldsmiths two weeks to make the shirt which cost him nearly $23,000.

Chad has a point – there aint a dame alive that could resist a golden shirt.

Women also like chocolate, and that’s why The Mayor has commissioned 25 chocolatiers to craft him a $70,000 pair of nougat, chocolate and caramel sweat pants. Want to see what’s under the sweat pants, ladies? Then prepare to eat yourself sick. Ya, baby. Is that a chocolate covered butter crunch toffee bar in The Mayor’s pocket, or is he just happy to see you?

The Mayor calls his chocolate sweat pants the “Hershey Highway Pants” because Hershey’s has the word Her and She in it, and after you taste The Mayor’s pants you’ll want to fondle his roasted almonds all the way down the highway.

Man, The Mayor now wishes he ended this post after the *or is he just happy to see you?” line.

Oh well, can’t take it back now. Google spider me, you bad bastards!

Glory Glory…

Tuesday, January 8th, 2013

And after Rob Ford is unceremoniously shuffled out of town, there is no doubt Mr Glory Hole will become Toronto’s new Mayor. Or Smitherman’s *Right Hand Man®*, if ya know what I mean.

Name The Planet

Tuesday, January 1st, 2013

The Mayor was able to identify four of the six. The top left is planet Plateatorium, the one beside it is Porcelainius, the bottom right is Earthenwaredroid, while the one beside that is no other than Pluto.

Pluto isn’t a planet any more? Hahaha, then that was a trick quiz.

What a cheeky monkey!

If You’re Happy And You Know It

Sunday, December 16th, 2012

But only crap them if you’re happy and you know it and you REALLY want to show it.

Ministry of Re-Adjustment

Tuesday, December 11th, 2012

Or, you could just buy a properly fitted suit.

Ta daaaaaaaaa!

Mila Kunis Without Makeup

Sunday, December 9th, 2012

And this is Mila Kunis WITH makeup. And so is this. And this.

Makeup is a game-changer. There is no doubt about that one bit. Without makeup, Mila Kunis looks like your ordinary hairy East European broad. With makeup, she looks less like an ordinary hairy East European broad.

Either way, if you ever have a say about it, try to get your woman to slap some makeup on her face. It can’t hurt, it can only help, and any woman that says she has a natural look, most likely has a mustache and a face like a can of crushed assholes.