Sure. how about a Trebec, two Shatner’s, a Plummer and an Aykroyd?

“Mr. Watson — come here — I want to see you.”

“Can you hold, please?”

That was March 10, 1876. In 1877, the first switchboard was set up. And in 1878, Bell Telephone Company opened, and later changed their name to AT&T.

What’s that word again that describes taking pleasure from one’s pain? Oh ya – jerk. Smiling dog is a jerk.

Marc in Calgary© sure knows how to spin a yarn.

The Mayor is telling you right now, and with total honesty, that he is having 500 of these cards made up tomorrow with his name on it. And by “his name”, he means The Mayor.

The Mayor figures that while comprising this list, the person in charge mistook the word *Orientation* for the word *Oriental*. If that makes sense. As in, he/she/it probably thought the title was *Sexual Oriental*.

Once again, The Mayor has developed a crushing headache.

The question isn’t “Could he have fit?” on that piece of rubbish (because it’s obvious he could have), but rather, “could that piece of rubbish hold both of them?”

Here’s the answer:

Actually, the question should be, “Could that door stay afloat long enough for them to sexually satisfy each other?”

Sure, The Mayor believes the door would have stayed afloat for 25 seconds.

“Freshness you can Taste.”

Indeed.

When you can get Shitdick for less than .25 cents per 100 grams, cram as much into your cart as you can. Deals like that don’t come by every day. And considering Shitdick isn’t even in season, wow, what a bargoonie! Unless you live in San Fran or Toronto, then Shitdick is available for cheap every few blocks.

Rosie O’Donnell – seen in picture showing reporters how big her anus is – was shit-canned from the Oprah Network weeks ago (The Mayor was on his The Mayor World Tour 2012© and couldn’t get around to posting it at the time, but had to revisit this piece of news).

Here’s what the less chubby of the two behemoths had to say (Oprah):

“I thank Rosie from the bottom of my heart for joining me on this journey.”

And what a garbage journey that must have been. Going on a journey with either one of those lards must be a journey from hell. It would be like journeying off to a sliver factory where they strip you naked and slide you up and down bare planks. That would be terrible, you fetish monkey. And then after that journey, you take another journey to the vinegar factory, where fat, Turkish man-boys lather up your slivered body in extra tart vinegar. From there your journey takes you to a UN peacekeeper barrack where you are toyed with and fondled by greasy, hairy European men who sport less than a tooth a piece and haven’t showered ever. Finally, your journey takes you to Rosie O’Donnell’s house where you have to watch her eat lunch. Oh for the love of any God but the Christian God, bring me back to the sliver factory!

“The Rosie Show” launched Oct. 10, 2011, drawing barely a half million viewers. The format of the show, which taped at Harpo Studios in Chicago, was tweaked over the next five months but was unable to improve its ratings.

Funny how a whale like O’Donnell taped her show at Harpo Studios. Me wonders whether it was an actual studio, or a target practise range for Japanese fishermen?

It was a great year for me. I wish the show was able to attract more viewers, but it did not. So I am headed back to my home in New York, with gratitude. On we go!”

Snort. The Mayor can picture in his mind after she said that, she turned, and stink lines rose from the cracked pavement whence she stood.

One white skank down, one black one to go.

Boy, it’s hard not to get lost in Jennifer’s eyes, isn’t it? Even the wandering one. The artist has captured Jennifer’s essence exquisitely, you can nearly feel her beauty jump off the canvas. Just be careful it doesn’t jump on you, The Mayor hears that getting rid of cooties is a bitch.

What a decent chap. Imagine, taking the time to respond to an angrily worded letter. What a guy! I betcha he’s handsome as well.

There are any number of reasons why this house is burning down, and The Mayor guesses it had nothing to do with the fella in the picture smoking in bed. It was probably an oil fire that started when he left a pot of Crisco on the stove. Happens all the time. He looks like he cooks with Crisco. He just has that look about him.