Dec 7 – 2016
An unshoveled walkway resulted in the arrest of Donald MacVeign, 92, of 1137 Earthlove Parkway. Police were called to MacVeign’s residence last Tuesday after they received an anonymous tip to their hotline, by a patriot of Mitchieville. Police Chief Gerry Dugall, a 42 year veteran of the police force described the scene as a “war zone.”
“There was snow everywhere, snow where there shouldn’t have been snow. I was shaking. The community is in fear. I’ve never seen anything like this in my 42 years on the force.”
MacVeign was led away in handcuffs and is due to appear in court later this week.
Dec 8 – 2016
Acting on a noise complaint by a patriot, police were called to 7 Diversity Court, where they found a dog excessively barking. After releasing the dog from a bear trap, Dougie Little, 87, and his dog Snookie Wookie, 9, were taken away in handcuffs and booked at 43 division, SW Mitchieville. Mr Little will appear in court early next week, while his dog, Snookie Wookie, has been released to the care of the Mitchieville Humane Society, where it will be auctioned off at the Annual *Scratch & Dent Animal Sale*, scheduled to take place December 24.
Dec 8 – 2016
After multiple complaints from shopper’s, a Mz Edna Ryan, 97, of Tolerance Court, NW Mitchieville, was detained and arrested under section 23.403 of the criminal code – too many items in the 8 items or less grocery lane. Mz Ryan was a full 2 items above the legal limit and will face up to 6 years in prison if convicted. Staff Sergeant Bill Graft, a 50 year veteran of the police force described the situation – “It was a war zone. The community is in fear. I’ve never seen anything like this in my 50 years on the force.”
Mz Ryan said she thought she only had 4 items in her cart, but under a newly created law, having 6 chicken cutlets in a box counts as 6 items, not 1. “Ignorance of the law is no excuse”, said Staff Sergeant Graft. “Mz Ryan will definitely be spending the holiday’s in prison. We operate on the broken window premise. If we let this type of behaviour pass without consequences, who knows what this maniac will do next – probably slit the throat of the newspaper boy.”