Archive for the ‘Police Blotter’ Category

Police Blotter

Thursday, December 15th, 2016

Dec 7 – 2016

An unshoveled walkway resulted in the arrest of Donald MacVeign, 92, of 1137 Earthlove Parkway. Police were called to MacVeign’s residence last Tuesday after they received an anonymous tip to their hotline, by a patriot of Mitchieville. Police Chief Gerry Dugall, a 42 year veteran of the police force described the scene as a “war zone.”

“There was snow everywhere, snow where there shouldn’t have been snow. I was shaking. The community is in fear. I’ve never seen anything like this in my 42 years on the force.”

MacVeign was led away in handcuffs and is due to appear in court later this week.

Dec 8 – 2016

Acting on a noise complaint by a patriot, police were called to 7 Diversity Court, where they found a dog excessively barking. After releasing the dog from a bear trap, Dougie Little, 87, and his dog Snookie Wookie, 9, were taken away in handcuffs and booked at 43 division, SW Mitchieville. Mr Little will appear in court early next week, while his dog, Snookie Wookie, has been released to the care of the Mitchieville Humane Society, where it will be auctioned off at the Annual *Scratch & Dent Animal Sale*, scheduled to take place December 24.

Dec 8 – 2016

After multiple complaints from shopper’s, a Mz Edna Ryan, 97, of Tolerance Court, NW Mitchieville, was detained and arrested under section 23.403 of the criminal code – too many items in the 8 items or less grocery lane. Mz Ryan was a full 2 items above the legal limit and will face up to 6 years in prison if convicted. Staff Sergeant Bill Graft, a 50 year veteran of the police force described the situation – “It was a war zone. The community is in fear. I’ve never seen anything like this in my 50 years on the force.”

Mz Ryan said she thought she only had 4 items in her cart, but under a newly created law, having 6 chicken cutlets in a box counts as 6 items, not 1. “Ignorance of the law is no excuse”, said Staff Sergeant Graft. “Mz Ryan will definitely be spending the holiday’s in prison. We operate on the broken window premise. If we let this type of behaviour pass without consequences, who knows what this maniac will do next – probably slit the throat of the newspaper boy.”

Police Blotter

Sunday, September 9th, 2012

King St. W. and Dundurn
Aug. 31: A man wearing a disguise of a rabid chicken and holding a pair of soiled underwear tells shoppers in a Yarn Barn not to move. A security guard approaches which sends the suspect running empty-handed, except for said soiled underwear. He flees on a motorized skateboard removing the disguise and soiled gotchies. He was last seen climbing down a sewer hole. Police are investigating.

Birch Ave. and Harvey St.
Sept. 1: Witnesses report a man driving donuts around the parking lot at Diversity Park, shooting debris and rocks from the tires at 6:30 p.m. The man exits the park quickly, almost hitting two raccoon’s and a dog tied to a fire hydrant.  As police speak to the witness, the suspect drives by as a passenger of another vehicle going south on Birch Ave. Police stop the car, and shoot 11 warning shots into his back The 28-year- old man’s funeral will be held at the Firkin and the Bankers Slut Wife, at 2 pm Wednesday.

Upper Gage St. at Brucedale Ave. E.
Sept. 3: A woman waiting for a bus at 6 a.m. is approached by a man who asks for directions. He then pulls out an unbuttered cucumber sandwich and asks her to spread Miracle Whip on it or he’ll punch her in the vagina. He grabs face with a hockey glove and yelled obscenities in a foreign language (possibly Spanish or Ebonic) . It’s unknown if he drove or if someone was waiting for him. Police are investigating.

Mitchieville- The Mitchieville Community Police Service have received approximately 3 reports of stolen bicycles between June 2012 and August 2012. The Mitchieville Community Police Service would like to remind bicycle owners to take the time to lock your bicycles, place it in a secure shed, garage or risk losing it. These thefts have been reported throughout Mitchieville and the bicycle range in sizes. Also, remember Mitchieville’s Castle Law (wink wink, nudge nudge).

Police Blotter

Tuesday, March 6th, 2012

Police were called to 1785 Lickpole Ave in NE Mitchieville Thursday morning, as residents called 911 claiming they heard gunshots. Police arrived and found no evidence of gunshots, but did find two tomcats inside a garbage can. The tomcats were taken away by animal services and are being held without bail at the Mitchieville Penitentiary and Re-Education Center until further notice.

This Saturday, March 10th, 2012 Mitchieville Police Services is hosting its 3RD Annual Polar Bear Dip fundraiser for Single Mother’s Against Apartheid (SMAA). Registration commences at 12:00 p.m. in the front lobby of the Harry Shoe Community Centre. The Dip occurs at 1:00 p.m., tentatively scheduled at the beach located immediately north of the Community Centre’s playground. Awards, ceremonies and prizes will occur in the front lobby at 2:00 p.m. Please bring a perishable food donation for needy and hungry mothers.

A debit card was taken March 1 from a vehicle on the 3100 block of SW Mitchieville. It was used for two purchases at gas stations, police said. It was later found that the owner of said card was the actual user of said card. The owner of said card is being held without bail at the Mitchieville Penitentiary and Re-Education Center.

Anyone finding a Lotto 6/29 in the Vicinity of Laggart and Brumion St, with the numbers 3, 14, 15, 18, 22, 29 and the bonus #31, is asked to return it to the Mitchieville Police Services on the l0wer mainland in Upper Mitchieville.

Winter & Emergency Parking – As everyone knows, overnight parking (01:00 – 07:00 hrs) on city streets is now prohibited (ref. sec.324.517.15553 of Traffic By-law 2009-075, paragraph 8, subsection 9, line 13 A-R, Volume 6) until the 1st of April 2012, for what we commonly refer to as the “snow by-law.” Normally there is no overnight parking allowed in the City Parking Lots either. Not obeying this and any law pertaining to “snow-by-law”, will result in the perpetrator being held without bail for an indefinite amount of time.

911 Oakland – We’re Not Here

Tuesday, September 7th, 2010

The City of Oakland may as well sell the phone number 911 to a pizza chain, because it seems they sure as heck don’t need it any more:

“If you come home to find your house burglarized and you call, we’re not coming.”

Clear enough? Cutbacks in places like Oakland have forced police to prioritize crimes as never before, and to simply “stop responding to fraud, burglary and theft calls as officers focus limited resources on violent crime.”

According to Legal Blog Watch, Oakland laid off 80 officers from its force of 687 last month. Other cities such as Tulsa and Norton, Mass have done the same thing, too.

Among the list of other non-crime crimes the coppers won’t come to investigate, unless it is a crime in progress, include:

•  Lost Property
•  Theft
•  Vandalism
•  Vehicle Burglary
•  Vehicle Tampering
•  Residential Burglary 
•  Identity Theft 
•  Annoying and Harassing Phone Calls 
•  Barking Dog 
•  Violation of a Restraining Order 
•  Reporting a Runaway 
•  Violation of a Court Order 
•  Violation of a child custody order where one parent failed to return the child at a specified time. 

This may seem like bad news for Oakland residents, but they should sleep well tonight knowing that although police services have been cut to the bone, there is still enough money in the City of Oakland budget for two spanking new splash pads, and a host of diversity workshops in and around town, every week until the cows come home.

Cutting officers from the police payroll tells me one thing: there is very little crime in Oakland, and by cutting down on officers, city councilors are proving once again that they are fiscally responsible and have zero tolerance for waste, inefficiencies, and a bloated bureaucracy.

Good on you Oakland, we could all learn a thing or two from you!

Police Blotter

Sunday, October 18th, 2009


Police in NW Mitchieville, 43rd Division, were called to 1326 Woodgreen Cres on Wednesday morning, after the owner of the residence reported her cat had climbed up a large maple tree. After waiting for more than 7 minutes, police were able to get a clear view of the cat and managed to shoot it out of the tree. There was no reported damage to the tree. The cat was taken away in a Sobey’s bag.

A disturbance was called in to 31 Division, SW Mitchieville, at 10:57 pm Thursday night at Casa Hanga Moona restaurant on King Mayor Drive. Owner, Luigi Bagnolli, heard loud noises and what sounded like a fight occuring behind his restaurant. A search by Mitchieville police uncovered two raccoons making love in a dumpster. Mitchieville police also uncovered the decomposed body of a drifter in the same dumpster. The raccoons were set free, the drifter taken outside of city limits and also set free.

Police were called to 731 McGraph Blvd in Upper Mitchieville on Friday night to investigate an illegal gaming operation. When police arrived, they found a crowd participating in an illegal Bakugan match. Billy Dunlop, 6, Ryan Keegan, 4, & Tommy Williams, 5, were all arrested & charged with Trading Cards Without a License. The three culprits are being held without bail at the Maximum Security Prison in Lower Mitchieville. They are also not allowed milk time or nappy time.

Police Blotter

Monday, May 11th, 2009


A pellet was shot through the window of a home on Stevens Blvd. in south Mitchieville Sunday. Damage was $35. Arrested and convicted of property damage is Jimmy Harrison, 7, of Taber Court. He was sentenced to 12 years in maximum security prison in the Mitchieville Penitentiary and Re-Education Center.

Police report Fung Goo Lau stole 75 cents worth of penny candy from the Candy Barn on Old Mill Street East in Mitchieville proper. Fung Goo Lau of parts unknown, was arrested, convicted, and sentenced to 25 years in maximum security prison in the Mitchieville Penitentiary and Re-Education Center.

Police report that Merril Scott Thimsby of the Mitchieville Retirement Village and Apple Farm, was caught cheating at the weekly bingo tournament and Soft Food Eating Contest, and was arrested, tried, and convicted of fraud under $100. Thimsby was sentenced to life in prison in the Mitchieville Penitentiary and Re-Education Center, with no hope for parole for 15 years.

Mitchieville Police Blotter

Friday, February 27th, 2009

On 2/23/09 at about 8:35 pm, officers from the Mitchieville Police Division were dispatched to Bosom Buns Bakery at 2180 Southgate Road in South Western Mitchieville, to investigate the destruction of a large crusty loaf of white bread. Officers found that the culprit squished one half of the loaf of the bread, rendering the crusty loaf unsellable. The suspect then left the store and sped away in a 2008 Smart car. Police have taken prints of the loaf of crusty loaf, but the doughy nature of the bread makes the prints virtually useless.

On 2/25/09, officer Stephen Bulinski of the Mitchieville Traffic Enforcement, observed a suspicious vehicle in the Bronte Road/Wellington Ave area at approx. 9:46 pm. After obtaining probable cause to stop the vehicle, the officer pulled the car over and demanded licence and registration. After inspecting the documents and finding there wasn’t anything suspicious about the situation at all, officer Bulinski dismissed the vehicle owner.

On 2/25/09 at approx 11:14 pm, investigators from the Mitchieville Special Unit were dispatched to the Taco Depot at 376 Trappington Blvd in lower Mitchieville, to investigate a robbery. Employees from the Taco Depot showed the officers the condiment storage jar where approximately 85 ketchup condiments were absconded. This is the third such incident in less that four years that has occurred at the Taco Depot. Police are warning the public not to carry condiments on their person. There are no suspects to date.

If you have information about these, or any any other crime, please phone the Mitchieville Police Department.

Vancouver Police too busy for gangs, rely on beating innocent civilians

Wednesday, January 28th, 2009

In the interest of fairness in justice, everything in this article will start with the modifier alleged.


Mitchieville Police Blotter

Monday, December 8th, 2008

On Sunday, December 4, 2008 at approximately 7:04 a.m., officers from the Mitchieville Police Division were dispatched to 2304 Sunray Drive, in regards to a dog that was stuck in a tree. Officers tried to 35 minutes to get the dog out of the tree, but *Fifi* was uncooperative and wouldn’t come down. The officers tried to pepper spray the animal, but that just only seemed to irritate the French poodle even more. Backup officers arrived, and agreeing that is was unnatural for dogs to climb trees, they shot Fifi four times. Fifi fell out of the tree immediately. Fifi was pronounced dead on arrival at the Mitchievillian Animal Rescue Center on Fenris Blvd at 8: 03 a.m.

On 12-05-08 at 0129 hours, MPD officers received a report of a home invasion at 1447 S Murray Bl. in east Mitchieville, across the street from the Ribbons R Us Depot. Upon arrival, police found two suspects carrying silver trays from the house and placing them into a white van. Officers yelled for the perpetrators to stop, but they either ignored the officers or possibly didn’t hear them. Officers proceeded to fire 15 warning shots into the backs of the suspects. Dead are James Washington of Ballymorra Drive and Cindy Harrison of Cambrera Street, Mitchieville. Both Jameas and Cindy were volunteers at the Meals on Wheels program, central Mitchieville. They will be sorely missed.

On Friday, December 5, 2008, at approximately 7:19 pm, officers from the Mitchieville Police Division responded to a serious injury call at the home of Craig Gonzales of 45 Hillsburg Cres. Mr. Gonzales was complaining of a soreness in his right leg, a shooting pain described as something akin to a heart attack. Officers placed Mr. Gonzales on the floor and found a tack stuck in the back of Mr. Gonzales leg. It seems Mr. Gonzales sat on a tack. He was rushed to emergency and was kept overnight for observation.