Archive for the ‘Ruined Pictures’ Category

Oh Hairy

Thursday, September 13th, 2012

The Mayor thinks the Christmas cards coming out of Buckingham Palace this year seem a little risque.


Monday, September 12th, 2011

And now the village idiots are telling you and I what to eat. Even this picture is a perfect example of that. Why else would they show a slab ‘o lettuce sneaking up on that poor, defenseless chunk of steak?

Obama Supporter Totally Wigs Out

Friday, February 27th, 2009

It seems to be comedy day here at the Lair. First, Keyser finds hilarity in Bloomberg’s reporting on the Obama “Budget.” Next, Keyser came across the blog of some leftist guy who was an Obama supporter, but who found the State of the Union shtick the other night no more encouraging than Keyser did.

And boy, does this guy let it show! He’s written out the whole text and interspersed it with is own commentary. He’s apparently fond of emphasizing text with color, italics, bold and the like, and this psychedelic emotion is flying all over the place as he totally loses it. Here’s just a small sample (the first few words in normal type are Obama’s):

You should also know that the money you’ve deposited in banks across the country is safe; How do we respond to such crap? Our President gets up in front of the world, and without even a hiccup or without having his fingers crossed behind his back, he simply lies with complete impunity. I am depressed. I looked so forward to not having to listen to that stupid, smug son-of-a-bitch “W” Bush. I was really excited about the prospects of having a smart, eloquent, level-headed leader speaking in plain truths and common sense. I am such an asshole! What I have come to realize is that even though I found Bush-the-dumber virtually impossible to listen to, I always thought it was because he was such a self-congratulatory moron. But what I have quickly come to understand is that it was NOT his insipid, shit-assed grin, or his quasi-literate references to Noooquoooler Weaponsssssssssss that made me nutso, it was his lying. And the reason I know that now is because I feel THE EXACT SAME WAY about our new President. It is the lying and the bullshitting that makes me so fucking insanely furious!! It is the fact that these guys treat us like fucking children—little kids who can’t handle the truth. Well, FUCK YOU Mr. President!!! The truth is so very easy to uncover, despite your lies! NO, Mr. President, our money is NOT safe in our banks. You are a liar. The FDIC is virtually insolvent. Bank failures means no access to money. Sure you can make the claim that, in fact, our money is safe because BY LAW it is insured. But “BY LAW” is not reality Mr. President. You can sit up there and obfuscate and dissemble and speak in half-truths and hedge your words with the greatest of care so that, if challenged, you can—you litigious asshole!—use your legal double-speak to defend your lies. But in the end it is just that, lies.

Buyer’s remorse, much?

Anyway, go read the whole thing. Leftist or not, the man is right.

[Okay, this guy doesn't actually write out the whole speech, as he gives up in despair before the end. Better hope that's not a metaphor for the future!]

This glob of asphalt was personally poured into a pot hole over at Keyser’s Lair by Joey “Don’t nobody mess with me ‘cuz I’m dah man!” Biden.

Ruined Picture Week–Friday Edition (On Sunday)

Sunday, January 11th, 2009

I suppose there will some people out there in Mitchieville that think the half naked guy with his pants down by his ankles is one pretty messed up Japanese dude. I’m not one of those people. I can pretty much guarantee that if it was me living in Japan, I’d be doing the exact same thing in that park in front of those girls as buddy is doing. It’s not that I have a fetish for Japanese girls or anything, I just happen to get turned on by women that have no individuality and like to flash the hippy peace sign at the same time.

Ruined Picture Week–Thursday Edition (On Saturday Morning)

Saturday, January 10th, 2009

Make no mistake about it, the couple that are kissing in the picture are now dead. I think it’s also safe to assume that this isn’t the first couple the John Belushi/Chris Farley looking character has snuffed out. If I was a cop I’d check his farmhouse, I think they would find a cornucopia of lifeless bodies and people hanging from hooks.

I’m not sure this technically classifies as a Ruined Picture, but to date I don’t have enough pictures to form a Ruined Lives Week.

Ruined Picture Week–Wednesday Edition

Wednesday, January 7th, 2009

Welcome to another episode of Where’s Fat Waldo in A Speedo?  If you immediately found him, congratulations, you’re gay.

Ruined Picture Week–Tuesday Edition

Tuesday, January 6th, 2009


I had a picture all picked out and ready to go tonight, but then I saw this one. It’s not actually a terribly ruined picture, but when I first saw it I thought the kid in the background was the same fat, creepy kid that was in yesterday’s picture. Anyway, the chick isn’t all that and a bag of potato chips, but the little bugger behind her has a pretty funny expression on his face. And from what’s on the counter, I think it’s pretty safe to assume that they are both Pepper’s. Which means they’re both disgusting.

Ruined Picture Week–Monday Edition

Monday, January 5th, 2009

Maybe it’s just the remnants of the morphine talking, but this could be one of the funniest pictures I’ve ever seen. I’m not sure what to make of that kid behind the poser in the black dress, but I’m pretty certain it’s that Chuckie fella. Either that or it’s what you get when you cross Ronald McDonald and…well, I’m not sure, maybe a fat broad or something. There goes the theory that stripes are slimming.