Archive for the ‘Safety Week’ Category

Safety Week

Friday, April 29th, 2011

Work safety

Everything seems straight forward until one of the “holders” has to scratch his foot. When that happens, a whole Looney Tunes episode breaks out.

The Mayor thinks this whole set-up is a safetyconcern. Not so much because someone could get hurt, but due to the fact that those three guys are way too close to each other. There has to be a 2′ rule or something. Any dude gets that close to The Mayor, and trust me, there’s a major safety concern going on. Ifyouknowwhatimean.

Safety Week

Thursday, April 28th, 2011

There’s all the proof you need that Mitchievillian made mounting brackets are the toughest in the world. And as you can clearly see, even the brackets below, sans AC unit, are still intact.

Does anybody else automatically think to themselves “Russia” when first viewing pictures like this?

Safety Week

Wednesday, April 27th, 2011

If this guy goes down, I sure hope China has a big enough workforce that they’ll be able to replace him. Hoping for the Chinese over here, boss.

More than any other safety faux pas in this picture, the thing that concerns and disturbs The Mayor the most is that there aren’t proper ventilation nose holes on this guys mask. How is he even breathing? Is he Kreskin? Is he performing some sort of Oriental martial art skill?  It’s hard to tell, the Chinese always seemed to be masked in secrecy.

Total pun intended, bitchez.

Safety Week

Tuesday, April 26th, 2011

The Mayor counts at least seven, er, make that eight workers that aren’t wearing safety hats. That makes The Mayor vomit. Safety first, people, safety first. What if a train came barreling down those tracks right now? Without safety hats, those guys could get seriously injured.

I’m still vomiting.

Safety Week

Monday, April 25th, 2011

The Mayor likes to run Safety Week at least twice a year, as he finds this segment really drives home the point that safety is and always will be job #1. Or, for our Spanish Mitchievillian’s, jobero numero uno.

The obvious safety hazard shown in this picture is, errrr, ahhh, obvious. You should never use the top rung of a ladder in order to support another ladder. It’s plainly stated on the top of every ladder that it should never be used as a step. I’m pretty sure it’s not meant to be used to support another ladder either. Although in all fairness, I didn’t check the safety code to check if my statement is correct. I betcha it is though.

Fire Safety Advisory

Thursday, September 9th, 2010

Opponents of the Safety Box® say that if a person is pulling the alarm and there is an actual fire, by the time the fireman or policeman arrive it will be too late, the Safety Box® puller will be charred beyond recognition.

The Mayor says fiddle faddle.

The world needs martyrs. If one or two citizens are burned alive, well, that’s a small price we have to pay for a safer world – a world free of mischievous Safety Box® pullers.

The only thing The Mayor would like to see added would be a Guillotine Release Mechanism™, or GRM. If a mischievous Safety Box® puller is caught, the Guillotine Release Mechanism™ would be activated, allowing the blade to be dropped, separating the wrist from the Safety Release Box® pullers arm.

You are correct when you think that this is an idea whose time has come.

Safety Week

Friday, August 20th, 2010


Fenris will be the first to tell you, because he’s seen his fair share of charred and mutilated bodies while, well, let’s just say, “wiring things up” over the years, and Fenris always says this: pay your union dues. ALWAYS pay your union dues.

Ponder that. Meditate on those words. Tread carefully.

And so ends Safety Week. Mercifully.

Safety Week

Thursday, August 19th, 2010

I’m not sure about you, but The Mayor think the International Brotherhood of Electrical Workers’ Local 353 of Toronto has gotten rather lax when it comes to safety procedures. Those loose fitting clothes on Ja’meel could easily get caught in any number of power tools, causing irreparable damage. To the tools.

Safety Week

Wednesday, August 18th, 2010

There are quite a few safety infractions The Mayor immediately spotted when I first viewed this picture: no safety boots, no safety hats, and if I’m not mistaken, no flame retardant vests.

For shame.

I’m sure there are quite a few other infractions my good readership have spotted, and I’d love to hear what they are.


I’d LOVE to hear them.

Safety Week

Tuesday, August 17th, 2010

At least there’s a 3 ton limit on that bridge, anything over that would be dangerous.

There’s a sign on that bridge that I’m having trouble reading, but I think the writing may be Russian…which would explain a lot. Russian engineers are miles ahead of western engineers. Imagine, we in the west stress ourselves over the mechanics of how a bridge is constructed, taking into account such frivolous things like how the forces of tension, bending, torsion, shear and compression are distributed through the structure, when really all we had to worry about is whether the 20lb or the 25lb cinder block is big enough to support an entire road sitting on the foundation.

Makes me feel kinda stoopid.

Oh right, this is Safety Week, there has to be a safety tip: Don’t throw banana peels on the ground, someone might slip on one and hurt their back.

Safety Week

Monday, August 16th, 2010

I suppose the only way Raj could be less safe is if he had his bare foot in a bucket of water. Regardless, I’m sure he’ll be calling me tonight to offer some great deals on bundling my Bell services.

Finn, Mitchieville’s Safety Czar, asked The Mayor to run these timely safety pictures in order to bring attention to some of the daily mistakes some of us might make and how we can correct or even avoid deadly safety mishaps. Haha, just kidding, Finn wants me to post these because they’re freakin’ hilarious.

Safe-ish Sex

Thursday, July 29th, 2010

Whoa, whoa, dummy this down for The Mayor, please. Am I being told here that I can have sex with this guys wives and not get AIDS, but if I do his brother’s wife there’s a good chance I’m going to look like Tom Hanks did in the movie Philadelphia?

Because my second biggest fear in life, is that one day lightning will hit me in the face and I’ll look like Tom Hanks ~shudder~. My BIGGEST fear in life is that one day I’ll wake up and look like Tom Hanks did in the movie Philadelphia.

For those of you that don’t understand what I’m saying, I’m trying to tell you I think Tom Hanks is a mutt.

Man, nice job keeping up with the tour.