Archive for the ‘Sheri Shepherd’ Category

Sherri Shepherd Eats Beats Her Children

Wednesday, December 19th, 2007

Blabbering on The Phew yesterday, resident idiot, Sheri Shepherd, told a shopping experience story that is sure to amaze and delight you:

Sherri Shepherd discussed taking her two-year-old son Jeffrey to a toy store that was having a sale instead of giving him a nap. She described the store, Giggle, as “a rich white folks’ store.”

What distinguishes a “rich white folks’ store” from any other store? For Sherri, it’s the inability to physically discipline her screaming child. Jeffrey was crying as they shopped for toys, but Sherri told the panel that, because she felt guilty about bringing him to the store instead of letting him nap, “I couldn’t do what I normally would have done. Plus the people [were] looking at me like, this wasn’t a store that looked like they beat the kids. So I had to do as the Romans do when I was in the Roman store.”

As for the rest of the panel, they cackled and cackled until a droplet of blood dripped out their eye-hole.

Honestly, judging by the panels’ reaction, this was the funniest thing that they have ever heard. I’m not sure I get the joke, but from what I make of it, when black people are in a racially mixed store, that may or may not include Caucasians, they feel at ease when beating the living shit out of their child. However, when black people somehow make it by the armed guards and get into a “White store”, they have to refrain from beating the snot out of their kids.

Hey, that is pretty funny, Sherri Shepherd is not only the village idiot, but she’s a child abuser, too. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA, I get it now.

Would you like to see the video?

Next–Woman gets two days in jail for murder of husband

And–Carmen Electra is looking like a dogs breakfast

The View Welcomes Sherri Shepherd

Thursday, September 6th, 2007

Barbara Walters will officially announce next Monday that the newest member of the cackling bitches The View, is none other than Sherri Shepherd:

Shepherd, who achieved moderate fame with a long-running stint on ABC’s Less Than Perfect, as well as roles on The Jamie Foxx Show and the recent big-screen bomb Who’s Your Caddy?, will fill the spot vacated by Star Jones Reynolds more than a year ago, marking the first time since spring 2006 that the chatfest will be able to boast a full fivesome at the table.

A fivesome? Hell, with this broad at the table, you can pretty well make it a two-hundredsome.

I’m not actually sure who this Sherri Shepherd unit is, but I do know one thing: I’m about to make a string of fat jokes at her expense.

When I look at that stomach she’s dragging around, I’m not sure whether I should read to it or play it classical music. Thank you. The animal print jacket is a real nice touch, although I suggest she stick to a more natural elephant grey next time. Thank you. A chick like that couldn’t even do it doggie style, although I hear she’s really good at doing it beluga style. Thank you. If she wants to make a few extra dollars, she might want to consider renting out her belly button hole to an Olympic swimming team. Thank you.

**I now realize that this chick might be pregnant, therefore, please disregard 3/5 jokes about her hugeness–or she may not be pregnant. Inthat case, feel free to openly laugh at her

She’s gonna be BIG fun!