Archive for the ‘Shrapnel Face’ Category

Shrapnel Face Week

Thursday, October 21st, 2010

According to the Guinness Book of World Records, Elaine Davidson is the “Most Pierced Woman in the World”, with over 600o piercing on and in her body. Yes, IN her body.

Davidson has over 500 piercings in and on her genitalia alone. Thems alot of genitalia piercings. Thems a mighty big genitalia. If you ever did the dirty with Davidson, it would be akin to bobbing for razors.

Shrapnel Face

Wednesday, October 20th, 2010

Imagine the look on TLDG’s face when she got out of the shower yesterday, reached for her towel that she thought was hanging on the towel loop, and found Igor the Impaler looking up at her. Imagine. I’m not saying you should imagine TLDG getting out of the shower, I’m a jealous kind of guy and knowing that you’re thinking in those terms, well, that’s just plain upsetting. How long have you been mentally molesting my wife for? Months? Years? Man, I thought I could trust you! Get out! Don’t ever come back to Mitchieville again.

Looks like it’s just me and you, Igor. Now, pass me that towel, will ya?

Shrapnel Face

Tuesday, October 19th, 2010

You know what The Mayor likes the most about this guys shrapnel face? Nothing.

Then again, when it comes right down to it, The Mayor has a soft heart. I mean, tomorrow morning when I have to travel into the City of Light in order to endorse George Smitherman for Mayor (he’s gay, adopted a child, ripped off e-health for a cool 1 billion, and was a crystal meth addict – but the Red Star says he has charisma and is what the city needs, while his main competitor is a big fat meanie Conservative) I’m sure shrapnel face will approach my SUV with squeegee in hand, and being the nice guy I am, I’ll wave him away from my cool ride, but still toss him a handful of pennies as I drive over his stupid foot.

There is no limit to my generosity, and that certainly is a contributing factor as to why I have received many citations and awards over my illustrious career.