Not long ago, The Mayor received a complaint from a female constituent via electronic letter. In this electronic letter, my constituent thought The Mayor showed a lack of diversity in Mitchieville because I always post pictures of delicious looking women, but nary a delicious looking man. Looks like someone didn’t tune in to Scott Baio Week not long ago. But I digress….
The electronic letter upset The Mayor, I could hardly finish my steak tartare and the glass of Chateau de St. Cosme Gigondas 2007. After pondering this letter for a few minutes, The Mayor Googled the word “diversity” and then decided that I needed to do something that would show the female folkage of Mitchieville thatI care, that I do cherish “diversity”, that I am VERY interested in satisfying every female wants and needs (unless those wants and needs include lending cash, listening to problems, or anything to do with the subject of “time of the month” -double ewwwwy).
And that is when The Mayor came up with the idea of Singles Week.
This week The Mayor intends to showcase some of the hottest manflesh available on the planet. I would like to showcase THE hottest pieces of manflesh, but The Mayor is married and for some reason whenever anyone takes a picture of Fenris, the picture never comes out. Hmmmm. Therefore, the women of Mitchieville will have to settle for third best. Which is pretty good, dontchaknow.
Without further adieu, I present Zoltan “Lemmy” Szendrizdzi
Location: Sandusky, Ohio
Occupation: Chimney Sweep
Likes: Heavy metal, tats, chicks with giant racks, long walks on the beach
Dislikes: Pay washrooms, warm beer, small caliber weapons, racial intolerance
Looking for: “Someone that can love me as hard as I can love them. But it has to be hard. Really hard. I’m talking REALLY hard. For instance, if some broad says she loves me hard, she has to be willing to split my head open with a meat cleaver and then lick the blood from my face and then make sweet love to me hard. But as I say, it has to be hard.”
“And I really like cats.”
Never been married, no kids, occasional drinker.