Archive for the ‘Singles’ Category

Singles Week

Friday, August 6th, 2010

I got caught up watching a movie tonight with TLDG and nearly forgot to post a Singles Week single. Fortunately for you, I remembered. Lucky.

I figure I’d save the cream of the crop for you for the last day. Unfortunately the cream of the crop picture got lost, so you’ll have to settle for the cream of the crap. Oh well, better than a kick in the ear with a cold boot on a warm day my pappy use to say. At least I think that was my pappy that use to say that. Actually, it might have been Andy. Ya, it was Andy.

Singles Week

Thursday, August 5th, 2010

Flamingo’s, a dirt lawn, and a skinny dude with 80’s fashion sense, this is what it’s all about ladies. The Mayor has certainly brought the women of Mitchieville heaping plates of manmeat this week, and I can proudly say I’ve been thanked with absolutely NO COMMENTS to any of these posts thus far. It’s as if the women of Mitchieville don’t appreciate the eye to detail, the special attention The Mayor has when it comes to taking care of the finer sex. That’d be you, yo!

I’ll just leave you with this picture, an image I’m sure has been burned into your eyes and heart already.


Singles Week

Wednesday, August 4th, 2010

Those are three words in the English language that will send a mighty shiver down any guys spine. In this case though, well, enough said really.

The best answer to “whatcha thinkin’ about?” was by that numskull Al Bundy. Al was talking to Steve and said something like, “and when Marcy asks you *whatcha thinkin’ about?*, say to her her, *If I wanted you to know, I’d tell ya!*”

In Fantasyland, population YOU, that line is a killer. In Realityville, that answer will get you killed. Not physically, death won’t come that easily for you.

I kinda went way off track with this post, yet it turned out much better than I could have imagined.

Singles Week

Tuesday, August 3rd, 2010

Funny thing, it only occurred to The Mayor less than a minute ago that the single gentleman I posted yesterday was actually Lemmy Kilmisterfrom the metal group Motorhead. The Mayor isn’t sure if Lemmy is still single, but if he is there’s one obstacle out of the way right there. The other obstacle to overcome might be a tad harder to overcome though – Lemmy is as gay as a toothpick.

Anyway, you’re probably over Lemmy by now and have your site firmly planted on this fine specimen. A chef, a fashion icon, and a guy who is obviously very concerned about his facial hygiene. What a catch.

Name: Bobby Buttmeister

Occupation: Hot Beef Injection Engineer

Likes: Cooking, fashion, fruit, exploring, showtunes, dancing

Dislikes: Sports, beer, whiskey, guns, fast cars, arm wrestling, loud noises

Looking for: Someone to cuddle with. Someone to listen my problems and my lisp. Someone who is open and understanding and can fill me with their love. Or fill me with other stuff. Whatever.

Singles Week

Monday, August 2nd, 2010

Not long ago, The Mayor received a complaint from a female constituent via electronic letter. In this electronic letter, my constituent thought The Mayor showed a lack of diversity in Mitchieville because I always post pictures of delicious looking women, but nary a delicious looking man. Looks like someone didn’t tune in to Scott Baio Week not long ago. But I digress….

The electronic letter upset The Mayor, I could hardly finish my steak tartare and the glass of Chateau de St. Cosme Gigondas 2007. After pondering this letter for a few minutes, The Mayor Googled the word “diversity” and then decided that I needed to do something that would show the female folkage of Mitchieville thatI care, that I do cherish “diversity”, that I am VERY interested in satisfying every female wants and needs (unless those wants and needs include lending cash, listening to problems, or anything to do with the subject of “time of the month” -double ewwwwy).

And that is when The Mayor came up with the idea of Singles Week.

This week The Mayor intends to showcase some of the hottest manflesh available on the planet. I would like to showcase THE hottest pieces of manflesh, but The Mayor is married and for some reason whenever anyone takes a picture of Fenris, the picture never comes out. Hmmmm. Therefore, the women of Mitchieville will have to settle for third best. Which is pretty good, dontchaknow.

Without further adieu, I present Zoltan “Lemmy” Szendrizdzi

Location: Sandusky, Ohio

Occupation: Chimney Sweep

Likes: Heavy metal, tats, chicks with giant racks, long walks on the beach

Dislikes: Pay washrooms, warm beer, small caliber weapons, racial intolerance

Looking for: “Someone that can love me as hard as I can love them. But it has to be hard. Really hard. I’m talking REALLY hard. For instance, if some broad says she loves me hard, she has to be willing to split my head open with a meat cleaver and then lick the blood from my face and then make sweet love to me hard. But as I say, it has to be hard.”

“And I really like cats.”

Never been married, no kids, occasional drinker.