Archive for the ‘Smackdown’ Category
George Will the Third, that pretentious twit with the twee little bow ties, is among the crowd of Palin haters. This quasi-Republican is spending the last days of the campaign slagging the Republican ticket, with that smug “I’m smarter than you but I’ll talk in comparatively small syllables so cretins like you can see how much smarter I am than you” tone of his: (more…)
So, a “real” man these days is supposed to be some sort of metrosexual who is “in touch with his feelings,” and pretends to enjoy watching Terms of Endearment and know what in the hell arugula is, right? Well, that can get you into trouble:
Inspired by Reg’s gift of some homemade salsa sauce, I got to thinking that his food offerings are designed to make me forget about the public culinary smackdowns that Reg is now too cowardly to participate in after a continual onslaught of my delicious food. Accordingly, his superb salsa is met by my Homemade Spicy Lime Flavored Tortilla Chips. A truce is in order, especially if Reg agrees to send some more 7 layer dip my way. The secret recipe is also an acceptable exchange.
Let Sargon decide based on the cards and tea leaves.
It’s that time of year again when the Reginaldson family gets together for the annual ‘Slaughter of the Vegetables’, otherwise known as salsa making season. Unlike other bloggers (who shall remain nameless) that never show you how their food was prepared and then posts pictures of food taken from other blogs and present it as
her their own, I will gladly provide you with the pictures to prove my culinary prowess.
Reginaldson Family Homestyle Extra Thick Salsa Sauce (Medium Heat)
To start you need two (2) bushels of Roma Tomatoes, one five (5) pound bag of Spanish Onions, and twelve (12) large Green Peppers. You also need a combination of eleven herbs and spices for flavour but just like the Colonel I’d rather cut my own tongue out than tell you what they are. Click on the pics for a bigger view.
Like Mitchieville town politics, making salsa is a family affair. While my brother, sister-in-law and I peel the two freaking bushels of tomatoes, mom is taking our picture. To peel the tomatoes we boil them a dozen or so at a time for 3-4 minutes. We then dip them in cold water and the skin comes off fairly easy.
It only took 3.5 hours to peel, dice and strain the juice from two (2) bushels of tomatoes. Once you get the juice you add vinegar and start to boil the mixture down to half the amount you started with. This takes 3 or so hours. The fluid that drains out of the tomatoes after this is almost clear and is thrown out. This helps increase the yummy tomato flavour later.
While waiting for the juice to boil down finely dice your green peppers and onions. Once the juice boils down add all of the veggies and spices. We then boil the mixture down again for another 3-4 hours.
This is taken from the back deck at my parents. Mom and dad have 5 acres in the heart of Hastings County, which is located in East-Central Ontario. You can see that the leaves are just starting to change colour. While waiting for everything to boil down much family bonding occurs. Mom, sister-in-law and nephew go for a nap. Little brother decides to sight in his .270 rifle for Moose hunting next week. Reg (spotting with a set of binoculars) and little brother are lazy. We sight the rifle off the back deck. The .270 makes a big bang and scares the bejezus out the afternoon nappers, much swearing occurs. All is soon forgiven as mom dishes up homemade lasagna for supper and we have a family meal.
Yes we are still waiting for everything to boil down. To the left you can see the salsa just before we added the tomato paste. On the right is the 75 litre pot we use to cook everything in. This is the same pot The Mayor makes stew in every Wednesday night at the orphanage. The propane burner works better than the stove, and by cooking outside the house doesn’t get crazy hot (Safety tip – do not use propane burner inside house). You need a full tank for the day.
After adding 256 ounces of tomato paste the mixture needs about another hour to boil down. Like our town motto, safety is #1 – we have already sterilized some 80 jars and lids for the canning process.
After nearly 9 hours of cooking we carefully bring in the very hot pot of salsa. Dad is helping now, much swearing occurs. The key is to can everything while the salsa is still steaming hot. Dad scoops, mom levels and grabs lids, sister-in-law get the jars, little brother mixes the salsa, I tighten down the lids and set them aside to cool down. It took us about 45 minutes to jar all of the salsa.
The end result, 98 Jars of salsa! 98 jars today + 50 from two weeks ago = a whole lot of salsa. The sound of lids popping fills the air. In about two weeks the salsa will be ready to eat. After doing all of the dishes it is after 9:30PM – we’ve been making salsa for over 12 hours.
Favoured friends, various lovers and supporters of the noble Mayor of Mitchieville may all have a jar of ‘Reginaldson Family Homestyle Extra Thick Salsa Sauce (Medium Heat)’ after a declaration of fealty to His Worship. The Mayor gets his own private stockpile. Sister-in-law and I tried the salsa tonight and it tastes incredible. Friends and family recall the 2004 vintage salsa that was out-of-this-world for taste and thickness, this 2007 batch is even better than the 2004. This salsa will go great with my famous 7 Layer Dip.
Lisa of *Bitch* and Reg are at it again tonight with Smackdown II – ‘Revenge of the Flatulence’. In tonight’s culinary tete-a-tete we offer up versions of our own homemade Chili. Let’s see what Lisa has for us.
Lisa’s Vegetarian Chili Paneer (#)
Mmmm, looks good Lisa. Certainly looks a lot better than the gruel you cooked up in the original Smackdown . I mean its Chili, who doesn’t like chili? Wait a second, what’s this paneer stuff Lisa? “Paneer cheese has a consistency much like tofu, only it’s made from whole milk, rather than bean curd, and much tastier.” Tofu eh? Let’s take a look at what Reg has got on the menu:
Reg’s Meat Lovers Texas Chili
The secret to good chili is fresh spice and lots of it. Fresh cumin seed, chili peppers, ground chilli and s-loads of fresh minced garlic are essential to bringing the flavour out. The chili paneer Lisa made had white fleshy chunks in it, my chunks are red and fleshy, there is a reason for that – them are chunks of AA Top Sirloin Alberta Beef Mitchieville and you know what’s cozying up beside them chunks of tender goodness – little chunks of lean ground beef goodness. That’s right Mitchieville, good chili is made with fresh spices, love and two different kinds of bovine goodness. My mouth waters just typing about it.
Before you leave your vote in the comment section below I have a terrible news for everyone. Lisa has told me that she intends to post this Smackdown at Dust My Broom and London Fog to gather more interest in the Smackdown. Don’t buy her sweet as a Nanaimo Bar head games. Lisa is poaching these sites for more votes. I care not one whit of the quaint little foggers, my fear is of the broomers. The broomers and their leader Darcey are the Mongol Hordes of the internet. Oh I’m looking at you OMMAG, Fergy, Shere Khan and dmorris. If it wasn’t for Bob and Ulli I would be afraid to go to DMB most Friday nights. A vote for Lisa is a vote for the broomers, a vote for the broomers is a vote for anarchy. A vote for Reg is a vote for Mitchieville, a vote for Mitchieville is a vote for stable corrupt governance. The choice is clear.
Posted by Reg “Big Tex” Reginaldson
PS: Don’t forget that Lisa try to steal the election from Mitch. *Bitch* indeed!