I went to a local shopping emporium today to buy a bag of skim milk. The two regular lines that were open had about 6-7 customers in each one, and then there was an 8-10 item line open that had three people in it. So I lined up there. As I waited, Large Marge called out, “I’m open over here, next customer please.” Well wouldn’t you know it but this old woman, she must have been 85, rushed over to the open line, setting all sorts of land speed records. I’m telling you, she barrelled herself THRU the other customers, all I could see was this flash of blue hair making a b-line for the open till. When she got there she pulled out a receipt and said to the cashier, “I’d like to return this _______ (whatever it was).
The Mayor was stunned. Let’s face facts – old people have NOTHING to do during the day, they should always give way to younger people who are trying to get on with life. Old people should do their shopping between 8-10 am, then let the living do their shopping the rest of the time. I’m not even sure what an old person is doing outside at 5:30 pm, but returning things to shopping emporiums shouldn’t be on that list. I would have been fine if someone had hip-checked the old bird, putting her in her place.
After that disgraceful display of oldness, I found myself second in line behind a kid of about 10-12 and his grandpa. The kid gets up to the counter and asks the girls for some Pokemon Platinum cards – $5.25 a pack!!!! He actually asked for two packs, and his grandpa says, “make it FOUR packs!” The Mayor was once again stunned. The chickie rings the cards in – $24 and change.
The idiot old man pays the girl and the kid starts opening up his Pokemon packs. I turn to the cashier and said, “Isn’t there some occasion taking place in 9 days where that guy could give those cards as a present instead?” She looked me right in my good eye and said, “Don’t even get me started, I see that crap every day”.
I have just given you two reasons why the world deserves to come to an end, and two reasons why you should hate the human race. Greedy idiots the whole damn lot. I can’t blame the kid, he was only doing what kids do – extend hand and ask it to be filled with gold. But the old man should be punched in the ear. Same with the old woman. And sure, while we’re at it, let’s punch the kid in the ear, too.
Have I mentioned tis the season to be jolly?