Archive for the ‘Somali Pirates’ Category

Pregnancy Q & A

Wednesday, November 4th, 2009

Q: Should I have a baby after 35?
A: No, 35 children is enough.

Q : I’m two months pregnant now. When will my baby move?
A: With any luck, right after he finishes college.

Q : What is the most reliable method to determine a baby’s sex?
A: Childbirth.

Q: My wife is five months pregnant and so moody that sometimes she’s borderline irrational.
A: So what’s your question?

Q: My childbirth instructor says it’s not pain I’ll feel during labor, but pressure. Is she right?
A: Yes, in the same way that a tornado might be called an air current.

Q: When is the best time to get an epidural?
A: Right after you find out you’re pregnant.

Q: Is there any reason I have to be in the delivery room while my wife is in labor?
A: Not unless the word ‘alimony’ means anything to you.

Q: Is there anything I should avoid while recovering from childbirth?
A: Yes, pregnancy.

Q: Do I have to have a baby shower?
A: Not if you change the baby’s diaper very quickly.

Q: Our baby was born last week. When will my wife begin to feel and act normal again?
A: When the kids are in college.

**Theo Spark supplied the the chuckle

Somali Pirates Or Hell’s Kitchen Apprentices?

Monday, April 13th, 2009

Michael Faul and Tom Maliti from the AP, are reporting that the African (Somali) pirates that have been terrorizing the waterways off the East African coast may not actually be bad people:

The pirates’ primary concerns, however, are economic, and they have no interest in escalating violence.

Pirates armed with assault rifles and rocket-propelled grenades typically speed toward a ship in skiffs and use ropes and hooks to get aboard without shooting. Within days, a ransom of $1 million to $2 million is delivered, by sea or air, and the ship and crew are released.

No shot is fired. No one is harmed. Hostages have even told of being fed “sumptuously,” with pirates billing the shipping companies for the food and drinks.

Maybe I have pegged these young lads all wrong. At first I thought they were no more than terrorists and kidnappers, holding people hostage, exploiting governments, destroying families, and ruining lives, but I see now that they are more like culinary freedom fighters. These people don’t want to kill, maim, and exploit, all they really want to do is cook, explore various shipping lanes, and learn simple accounting procedures so as to adhere to GAAP.