Archive for the ‘Strong Broad’ Category

Tonya Harding – Living The Good Life

Sunday, February 5th, 2017

It’s hard to believe that it’s been nearly 25 years since the whole kerfuffle regarding Tanya Harding/Nancy Kerrigan/Jeff Gilooly/Shawn Eckhardt took place (if a plot to kill a cute figure skater days before she was to compete against you at the Olympics can be described as a *kerfuffle.) But The Mayor stands by his word and will not relent.

The Mayor actually remembers the whole event somewhat wrongly. The Mayor thought Jeff Gilooly whacked Kerrigan on the knee making her scream out *WhyEEEEEEEEEEEEE?*, when in fact it was actually Shane Stent that whacked Kerrigan on the knee making her scream out *WhyEEEEEEEEEEE?*

It was Gilooly and Eckhardt who hired Stent to whack Kerrigan (WhyEEEEE?), and Harding claims, to this day, that she didn’t know about the whole plot to destroy her nemesis, Nancy Kerrigan.

Kerrigan went on to win a silver medal and Harding came in 8th. The Mayor also remembers during one of her first skates, Harding’s skate got messed up and she had to stop and ask for help. She started to cry. She looked so sad. And The Mayor wasn’t there to give the chubby Harding a warm hug. That’s probably why she lost so badly, That, and the fact she was a horrible skater with incredibly bad decision-making abilities.

Anyway, there’s an updated picture of Harding, sitting outside her home, having a coffee and a smoke. And if any of you folk tell me that’s not EXACTLY how you pictured her 25 years in the here and now, The Mayor would have to size you up and call you a lying asshole.

Strong Broad Week

Thursday, September 23rd, 2010

I think The Mayor can speak for everyone when he says, “holy mother of Pearl!!”

Those are pretty much the biggest anything I have ever seen on a woman. At least, it’s the most of a lot I’ve ever seen on one woman. Sorry, my thoughts are jumbled here; what I meant to say is that there is more everything on that woman than any woman I have ever seen before. Nope, that didn’t make much sense either. Those are by far the biggest everything ever on any woman that has ever had any bigness at all.

Wow – I wasn’t sure I was going to come around with a clear thought, but man, I totally nailed it.

Strong Broad Week

Wednesday, September 22nd, 2010

Being in shape is one thing. Being really strong is another thing. Projectile vomiting while deadlifting 400lbs? Ya, you’ve just crossed the Rubicon and you ain’t never coming back. Now get over here and kill this icky spider.

**NSFW puking

Strong Broad Week

Tuesday, September 21st, 2010

 

I like Helga, I really do…but I have to say that sometimes she comes across as being rather vein vain. Plus, playing the staring contest with her is plain creepy. She’s never lost. I tell ya, she could scare paint off my pick-up truck. And those aren’t erect nipples Helga’s sporting, she actually sharpens her breasts right before a big competition to make herself more symmetrical.

Strong Broad Week

Monday, September 20th, 2010

It’s good to see Madonna is starting to take care of herself.

When The Mayor was finishing high school, I suppose that was when I was 2817 or so, I dated a woman who was a semi-professional body builder. Most men are rather intimidated by very muscular women, but The Mayor isn’t, I don’t have a problem with them in the least. As a matter of fact, The Mayor finds strong women to be rather handy. For instance – I remember one night going to a movie with this body building girl, and as we were driving to the theatre, my car broke down, “damn American cars, I exclaimed!” Okay, I never exclaimed that, but I certainly would now that Obamma is running the show. Anyhoo, the tire went flat and as luck would have it my jack was being impounded as some sort of crime scene evidence. So Gertrude, that was the giant broads name, she grabs hold of the bumper and lifts the car can clean over her monstrous head. So The Mayor grabs the spare tire and replaces it. So ya, Gertrude’s bigness really came in handy that night. If it wasn’t for her strength and The Mayor’s superior mechanical abilities, we never would have made it to see Flashdance on time and I wouldn’t have gotten to experience Jennifer Biel’s rock-hard nubile young body on a giant screen.

That night, and especially that movie, made me who I am today – The Mayor of the 49th fastest growing community in NE Durham Region, Ontario, Canada, North America, The World, The Universe.