Archive for the ‘Team Mitchieville’ Category

Mitchieville Marathon

Monday, December 6th, 2010

Tuesday, December 7th will be a Mitchieville marathon. Twenty four of our best posts from the past, one per hour.

I care,

Fenris Badwulf

When Should I Use I.E.?

Saturday, September 4th, 2010

I’m really sorry for posting this, initially, I thought it said “When Should I Collect UI?”

The Mayor knows he’s not the person who should be lecturing people on grammar, sentence structure, spelling, proper punctuation, or short-forms like i.e. But when it comes to UI (unemployment insurance in the land of the green eyed monsters), ya, I could learn ya a thing or two.

Punctuation and short-form though, that’s another matter entirely. When it comes to short-form The Mayor is about as helpful as a comb to the audience at a Rogaine seminar, i.e., three bushels of wheat.

Told you.

You Look Dumb, Stop It

Sunday, August 8th, 2010

The first time I saw someone wearing a Bluetooth was about 4 or five years ago. I was sitting in an Arby’s, enjoying a delicious roast beef sandwich and the bottomless Coca Cola™, when this muttering half-tard walked past me, yippity yipping away. I did one of those double-takes, quickly followed by looking down into my paper so as he wouldn’t think I was staring at his “condition”.

After about half a minute of this guy talking loudly for no apparent reason, it dawned on me that he was having a conversation of sorts with an actual human and not one that was a figment of his stupid imagination. Considering he was dressed in a suit and had designer glasses, I figured he couldn’t be half-tarded, there must be a logical explanation for his asshatery. THEN I saw the hearing aid attached to his head and finally figured it out. Bluetooth. The one thing I never did figure out though, and to this day I still can’t, is even though the earset lets you walk around wirelessly and all, why would anyone want to look like a complete stupid asshole wearing one?

Riddle me that?

On the Campaign Trail

Wednesday, September 3rd, 2008

If it seems like the citizens of Mitchieville line up at the election booth frequently, well, you’d be right. But a chance to overthrow that Mayor who usurped me in the last election should be an occasion to riot in the streets.

Let us have a look at what the Mayor has done for you lately. Just this past weekend, he flew off to New Orleans, effectively ignoring the flooding in his own town that was caused by an explosion of an old watermain. He has raised taxes and increased the photocopy budget at city hall. He has banned smoking in public and private establishments. The roads are nearly as pothole ridden as those in London Ontario; apparently, new office furniture is more important than the alignment of your vehicle. He was filmed by the National Enquirer hiding in the washroom of the hotel where his mistress is staying.

I could go on at great length, but we all know it’s time for the Mayor to go. The time has come to focus on the broken window fallacy.

The money that is taken from your pocket to fund the Mayor’s pet projects is money you do not have to spend on yourself and your family. Let us get selfish here and look at the reality of the situation. The streets are crumbling, the garbage is piling, the collective farms are yielding little food, and the town square is a shrine to the current corrupt Mayor. The price of gas continues to rise along with the temperature. What has the Mayor done for you lately?

As I begin my campaign for Mayor of Mitchieville, complete with a pounding headache, I am pleased to announce my campaign manager is none other than the infinitely talented dmorris, a proven mathematician at election times. He is a force to be reckoned with and brings a lot of cash to my campaign. He gets a gas guzzling truck, free gasoline for a year, and food from my kitchen, and power in exchange for his support.

Other important announcements are coming soon. Stay tuned. I, Lisa, care about your hard earned cash more than Fenris and the soon to be former Mayor combined. I wear black leather fiscal boots.

Vote for Lisa Foggy on October 14th. Vote for change you can believe in. If you doubt it, you will be crushed.

Mitchieville 2008 Election – Reg’s Hope For Change

Tuesday, September 2nd, 2008

After weighing the pro’s and con’s of the various contenders for the office  ‘Mayor of Mitchieville’ I have hastily made my choice.  I, Reg Reginaldson, Minister of Munitions, Textiles As It Pertains To Munitions Production, and Mitchieville Keg Restaurant Franchise Holder, hereby endorse LISA FOGGY for Mayor of Mitchieville.

I’m sure long time readers of Mitchieville will be shocked by this endorsement. Lisa and I have been battling on this sacred and hallowed blog for nearly 2 years now. Despite her cruel comments a couple months back about the reason for my current lack of female company in my life, I have chosen to forgive.  Forgiving is what good people do. I have come to realize that a woman as skilled as Lisa can give a man like myself that one thing The Mayor and Fenris never could: cooking lessons. 

Indeed, Lisa knows that her place is in her kitchen.  Lisa is a woman who can cook, and that my friends is proof of her solid anti-feminist social conservative credentials.  I  made a point of vetting her various blogs for almost 3 minutes tonight and with that exhaustive research complete I feel I can say that I feel the same way that Lisa feels or claims to feel with regards to the important issues facing Mitchieville in the one or two posts I actually bothered to read.  These clear and well defined policies of Lisa Foggy bodes well for the future of Mitchieville.

My Pro-Lisa Choice decision is more than about than pure policy though. Lisa is the senior blogger at The London Fog, and as such Lisa has been in command of the Home Guard there for the past 2 years now!  Let us not forget that London shares a border with Mitchieville’s mortal enemy – Fostertown – which of course means that Lisa is an expert dealing with defence issues.  What about foreign affairs you say?  Lisa is an expert at cooking African, Indian, Thai, Turkish, Greek, Mexican and Eastern European food.  With this kind of extensive international cooking experience Lisa shouldn’t be running for mayor, she should be running for leader of the free world!

I’ve only met Lisa in person twice, but I have a gut instinct that LISA FOGGY is the right woman for the job.  Sure I actually chat with LINDS a couple times a week, and comment regularly at Ice Princess, but my gut says Lisa.  I should add that Lisa’s husband, Mapmaster, a champion cartographer, is as handsome as he is handy.  And their pet cats, Cooter, Rosco, Enos, and Cletus, are well loved and I’m pretty sure all have either been spayed or neutered lest there be any kittens born during what would already be a stressful campaign.  I feel I can say with 1000% confidence that Lisa Foggy is the best choice for Mayor of Mitchieville.

Know that Service Hopes First for Change, VOTE LISA FOGGY on October 14!

THE MITCHIEVILLE VICTORY SONG

Friday, June 13th, 2008

We are together, together we are.
Are we together? Together we are.
Together we are, we are together!

We work for peace, peace works for us.
Does peace work for us? We work peace.
We work for peace, peace works for us!

We work for Victory Coffee, Victory Coffee works for us.
Does Victory Coffee work for us? We work for Victory Coffee.
We work for Victory Coffee, Victory Coffee works for us!

We are happy to pay our taxes, Taxes are happy when we pay them.
Are taxes happy when we pay them? We are happy to pay our taxes!
Thank you taxes, We Will Pay You!

Hurrah! Hurrah! HURRAH!

Copyright Mayor Mitch, Fenris Badwulf, and Reg Reginaldson

Friday Night Male Flesh – Wedding Essentials

Friday, June 13th, 2008

I want to start off by offering my warm congratulations to the Mayor and his bride to be. We Californians have recently joined league with our fair neighbor to the North is recognizing marriage for all citizens. So, my interest in marriage has suddenly been piqued. In fact, I’m now starting to think about the essential items that are necessary for a wedding. Because, you know, someday maybe even I’ll get hitched!

Everyone knows the basics: tux, wedding ring, brides and/or grooms, etc. And for the bride you’ve got to have something old, something new, something borrowed, something blue. But what about the groom? What essential items should he have? Well, I dug around the Internet and turned up two very important photos to help start to solve this puzzle.

manflesh_wedding_1These guys all seem to feel that a tux shirt and jacket are totally optional. However, it would seem that they value a few other important items: hairspray, facial hair, mullets, perms, white cummerbunds, gold chains, and chest hair. Hrm, I’m not sure about you Mayor, but I don’t think I can grow that much chest hair and I think I’d loose my membership to the Homosexualist Club if I grew a mullet or got a perm. I think I can manage the rest, though.

manflesh_wedding_2 Never in a million years would I have thought to dress up my buddy down below for my wedding. Of course I knew I had to wear a bow tie around my neck. But thankfully I found this picture and now I know that I’m also supposed to wear two bow ties. And who wouldn’t want to wear a silver thong underneath their tux? I certainly wouldn’t miss this special opportunity to put on a sexy silver thong. Mayor: Imagine the fun your newlywed wife will have on the honeymoon as she discovers you in such sexy boy undies!

 

manflesh_wedding_3 And what wedding would be complete without sexy man candy? Every bachelor party needs its entertainment. Louis here certainly would keep me entertained. In fact, I might be inclined to take Louis along on the honeymoon too! Mayor, I’m presuming Reg’s female specimens this week will be more in line with what you’re thinking for bachelor party fun. I just couldn’t resist sharing Louis here for all the lady folk in Mitchieville.

Let’s review. Based on what I’ve uncovered Mayor, you’ll need the following items to have a successful wedding: plentiful facial and chest hair, a mullet and/or perm, gold chains, and most importantly, special tuxedo-themed packaging for your special package! Hope my research has been useful.

I and all the readers of  Loganotron wish the Mayor and Mrs. Mayor all the happiest of days. Until next time, remember: Studies show that a weekly dose of Man Flesh actually improves your heterosexual health!

Wednesday, June 11th, 2008

As ratified by The Mitchieville Cabinet at the third session of the general cabinet meeting earlier this week, in honour of  the wedding of His Worship, Mitch, The Mayor of Mitchieville to The First Lady, The Little Danish Girl , the following resolutions are passed:

1. That this Saturday, June 14, 2008, be declared a statutory holiday in all of the sovereign dominions that this blog reaches.

2. At the hour of 9pm on the night of June 14, 2008 an alcohol toast (or two or three) shall be made by Mitchieville residents in honour of The Mayoral Couple.

3.  As Environment Canada has called for rain this Saturday, animal sacrifice offerings made in the name of Set, The Snake God, shall  be made at sunrise on the morning of the 14th by Darcey, Dmorris, Todd and Linds.

4.  Lord Fenris, in conjunction with the Minister of Finance will issue a rare Victory Latte this Sunday morning instead of the usual  watered down Victory Coffee.

5. Gifts are expected and can be forwarded to the Munitions Ministry where Reg will keep them safe from the hands of unscrupulous telemarketers until opened by The First Couple. (Fenris Badwulf abstained from this resolution)

6. Citizens of this hallowed and Nobel blog are advised that non-compliance of the above resolutions will be harshly punished.  The right to publish pithy and sarcastic comments at Mitchieville will be suspended until reviewed by the Punishment Review Board (Mayoral Protocol  Sub-Committee) monthly meeting at the Mitchieville Public Library. Those residents found guilty of non-compliance will only be allowed to watch Rosie O’Donnell Show reruns until appropriate reparations have been made to The First Couple.

 

Long Live Mayor Mitch and our First Lady TLDG!

 

Issued by Order of the Mitchieville Cabinet , 12 June 2008

Wednesday, June 11th, 2008

As ratified by The Mitchieville Cabinet at the third session of the general cabinet meeting earlier this week, in honour of  the wedding of His Worship, Mitch, The Mayor of Mitchieville to The First Lady, The Little Danish Girl , the following resolutions are passed:

1. That this Saturday, June 14, 2008, be declared a statutory holiday in all of the sovereign dominions that this blog reaches.

2. At the hour of 9pm on the night of June 14, 2008 an alcohol toast (or two or three) shall be made by Mitchieville residents in honour of The Mayoral Couple.

3.  As Environment Canada has called for rain this Saturday, animal sacrifice offerings made in the name of Set, The Snake God, shall  be made at sunrise on the morning of the 14th by Darcey, Dmorris, Todd and Linds.

4.  Lord Fenris, in conjunction with the Minister of Finance will issue a rare Victory Latte this Sunday morning instead of the usual  watered down Victory Coffee.

5. Gifts are expected and can be forwarded to the Munitions Ministry where Reg will keep them safe from the hands of unscrupulous telemarketers until opened by The First Couple. (Fenris Badwulf abstained from this resolution)

6. Citizens of this hallowed and Nobel blog are advised that non-compliance of the above resolutions will be harshly punished.  The right to publish pithy and sarcastic comments at Mitchieville will be suspended until reviewed by the Punishment Review Board (Mayoral Protocol  Sub-Committee) monthly meeting at the Mitchieville Public Library. Those residents found guilty of non-compliance will only be allowed to watch Rosie O’Donnell Show reruns until appropriate reparations have been made to The First Couple.

 

Long Live Mayor Mitch and our First Lady TLDG!

 

Issued by Order of the Mitchieville Cabinet , 12 June 2008

The Mitchieville Gun Club Meet and Greet

Monday, June 2nd, 2008

A little while back I introduced you to the founding members of the Mitchieville Gun Club. We had an informal meet and greet at The Manor on the weekend before hitting the ranges for an afternoon shoot.  The Mayor was pleased to see so many new members that I swear he almost cried.  The last time I saw The Mayor cry was when we rented Old Yeller.  The Mayor gets all weepy when Travis shoots Old Yeller.  Damn dog should’ve listened. Here’s our newest members:

guns007

OMMAG likes guns.  OMMAG likes to buy guns.  OMMAG like to buy lots and lots of guns.  OMMAG then likes to mount the newly purchased  guns on his living room wall to spook the couple that just moved in from Newfoundland across the street.  OMMAG likes to BBQ the animals he slays with his many guns.  The City of Winnipeg wishes OMMAG wouldn’t hunt at the municipal zoo.

guns010

Logan is a solitary lad who survives the mean streets of San Francisco with a small collection of hand guns and 12 a gauge shot gun.  Afraid to leave the safety of his one bedroom basement apartment, Logan passes time by cleaning his kitchen over and over and over again.  Seriously, what kind of single guy keeps a kitchen that clean and maintains such high personal standard of personal grooming? Weird.

12-400

This is Ice Princess and her hubby Dark Blue Tory with their two kids (and number three on the way).  They live well north of the urban sprawl that is Toronto because they think they are better than everyone else.  DBT believes in teaching his kids how to handle guns at a small age incase Pierre Trudeau comes back as a zombie and runs against Stephen Harper in the next election.

couple

I really shouldn’t brag, but this is me with my new squeeze.  We met about a month ago at a quiet little gun range just North of  Mitchieville Township and love blossomed.  We moved in together over the weekend and everything is sex, guns, working out, and more sex.   Being a physical fitness man like I am, I appreciate her slender physique and athletic build. I make the meals, she polishes the gun.  Does it get any better than this?

8-400

Good old Dmorris is a kindly old fellow. When he isn’t out walking Poochie or volunteering at the local mall community services counter he can be seen taking pot-shots at the local skate board freaks.  ‘Crazy Old Man Morris’ is what they call him.  Some of his bingo buddies call him ‘One Nut Morris’  but that story is for another day. Let’s leave Dmorris be so he can get a nap in before lunch time.

1-400

Frank from Purple Tory is a handsome young rouge is he not?  When not at school at some privileged East-Coast university, Frank bides his time in Kingston in his job as a "Historical Re-enactment  Entertainer" at Old Fort Henry.  Having little kids wipe ice cream on his scarlet tunic makes Frank angry and at night he takes his frustrations out on the many parolees Corrections Canada lets out every day. Hey Frank, what’s in the pizza boxes?

5-400 When MUGS  isn’t on the hammers or taking pictures of nekkid women at his "private" home photo studio he can be seen hunting on his property.  I see he even has two dogs and a bitch to keep him company.  I suppose I shouldn’t make *BITCH* jokes here as it appears that Mrs. Mugs can handle a piece.  A small piece to be sure but what does MUGS care, he’s happy as long as she’s happy. Now go fetch some critters for supper MUGS!

 

smchris-1

Todd is your typical Aussie punk-ass lay about with a chip on his shoulder.  With his trashy American girlfriend and disturbingly small handgun Todd wastes away the days in a drug fuelled haze of self hate and loathing.  Dirt poor, his "Sheila" makes low cost clothing for the Thai-boys who live across the hall. For entertainment Todd watches Yahoo Serious DVD’s on a stolen 10 inch TV.

7-400

ENIG-MAC is a man’s man if there every was one.  Rugged, good looking and one hell of a shot.  Not only did he shoot the animals mounted on his wall, he gutted them, carried them down a BC mountain, and then jogged back into Vancouver with the stags on his back.   In his spare time, Enig-Mac teaches fire arm safety at the local Public Library and volunteers at the local used battery depot.  Enig-Mac – what a guy!

Hat Tip

This Is a Test Post by Reg

Wednesday, May 21st, 2008

I’m trying out a new blogger program that The Mayor had in his Linkie Love post below.  Patience please while I give Windows Live Writer a whirl.

Oh, I like this so far.  Now let’s try and add a female flesh pic:

00111

Mayor,  this program rocks!  Much better than Blogger.  Now let’s try a linky link:

Fishing the Afghan way!

Oh, sweet – Mayor, you’ve have got to try this program out. 

And now I will edit —–  Get Window Live Writer here.

Introducing The Mitchieville Gun Club

Wednesday, April 9th, 2008

With the snow gone and the first spring flowers peeping out of the ground we can turn our attention to Mitchieville’s favourite recreational activity, shooting guns!

The Mayor smiles like a father with a newborn baby in his hands as he proudly displays his gun collection. The Mayor isn’t only a member of The Mitcheiville Gun Club, he’s the President and Financial Secretary as well. I suggest not asking him where the 2007 membership fees went.

The Hillman Family loves spending time together. Here we see little Sally on the computer helping plan the families next Seal Pup Hunt in Newfoundland while mom and dad substitute having real sex by polishing their guns. Killing baby seal pups makes Hillman feel like a real man. Heck, it makes us all feel like real men. Nice legs Mrs. Hillman!

Marginalized Action Dinosaur and his family take their guns seriously. The reason why they are smiling in this picture is because they just told the photographer he has a 5 minute head start before they hunt him for sport. I’m not kidding, run you stupid bastard!

If Steamboat McGoo looks like a hard ass in this picture it’s because he is one bad Mofo. Steamboat has an AR-15, the civilian model of the favourite yankee weapon of death, the M16. Steamboat lives in St. Louis, America’s most violent city, so it begs the question: why does Steamboat not have something a helluva a lot more powerful than an AR-15 to protect himself with?

It’s not easy being Fenris Badwulf. The sex, the drugs, the shit pay he gets from The Mayor; some days are harder than others. While a devotee of Set, The Snake God, we see that Fenris is paying tribute to a Hindu deity today. I think it’s best we don’t ask Fenris if that high powered sniper rifle of his is registered with the Canadian National Firearm Registry and just let him relax.

Pseudonym is a solitary fellow. Alone in his Thornhill basement plotting his revenge on Patrick Hillman, one wonders why God would even bring a person like this onto Earth? Look at him – obese, reclusive, never seen a nekkid girl before. I mean come on, he doesn’t even have a real name! We should feel sorry for Pseudonym, and then we should use him for live target practice.

You can tell who wears the pants around Kmorris’ house. Hubby has a pile of rifles behind him and still looks nervous as hell. Maybe that’s because Kate is armed with a handgun and smiles knowing she could easily pop a cap in hubby’s skull and dispose of his body without anyone caring. Sleep easy hubby, you’re not worth enough money (yet).

h\t