Archive for the ‘Test Your Awareness’ Category

Driving Test

Monday, December 13th, 2010

It’s been a few years since the Mayor opened up his driving handbook to refresh himself on the rules and regulations of the road. When faced with the question, “are you allowed to stay behind this bike?”, the Mayor can honestly say he’s not sure what the proper procedure is?

I do know one thing for certain: the young lady on the bike should be wearing a helmet. It would be a shame if something happened and she fell off her bike and cracked open her melon.

We, as global citizens, must protect women and their melons. The Mayor of Mitchieville vows from this day forward that he will do whatever it takes to help women and their melons.

Women and their melons are our future.

Help The Mayor help women and their melons.

This Is Only A Test

Friday, December 10th, 2010

I see 17 dolphins. Every time I look at that picture I spot a few more. And they’re doing disgusting things to each other. OMG, one of them is reading Margaret Atwood to the others. Where are the Japanese fishermen when we need them??!!

Testing, Testing 1, 2, 3…

Friday, October 15th, 2010

Via electronic letter, J.M. Heinrichs sent The Mayor an interesting quiz that I would like to share with you now. Here’s goes:

How do you put a giraffe into a refrigerator?

Stop and think about it and decide on your answer before you scroll down.

The correct answer is: Open the refrigerator, put in the giraffe, and close the door. This question tests whether you tend to do simple things in an overly complicated way.

2. How do you put an elephant into a refrigerator?
Did you say, Open the refrigerator, put in the elephant, and close the refrigerator?

Wrong Answer.

Correct Answer: Open the refrigerator, take out the giraffe, put in the elephant and close the door. This tests your ability to think through the repercussions of your previous actions.

3. The Lion King is hosting an animal conference. All the animals
Attend …. Except one. Which animal does not attend?
Correct Answer : The Elephant. The elephant is in the refrigerator. You just put him in there.? This tests your memory. Okay, even if you did not answer the first three questions correctly, you still have one more chance to show your true abilities.

4. There is a river you must cross but it is used by crocodiles, and
You do not have a boat. How do you manage it?
Correct Answer:? You jump into the river and swim across. Have you not been listening? All the crocodiles are attending the Animal Meeting. This tests whether you learn quickly from your mistakes.

According to Anderson Consulting Worldwide, around 90% of the Professionals they tested got all questions wrong, but many preschoolers got several correct answers. Anderson Consulting says this conclusively disproves the theory that most professionals have the brains of a four-year-old.

The Mayor couldn’t get by the first question. A giraffe in a refrigerator? That’s keraaaaaaazy!

Anti-Semitic Currency

Tuesday, November 17th, 2009

anti-semetic-currency

The file name for this picture is *anti-semetic (sp) currency*, but I see nothing anti-Semitic about it. Actually, it’s rather pro-Semitic. Now, if the President’s name on the bill was Jacksonstein and he was eating some hamantashen and drinking an gogl-mogl, and the $20 bill was changed to $20 shekels, well, someone would definitely have some ’splainin’ to do.

For now though, you apikoros’ need to settle down.

Test Your Awareness–Cyclist Test

Friday, December 5th, 2008

I’m sure by now most of you have had enough of the Awareness Tests I’ve been running over the last few weeks. I have news for you: so have I. You’re sick of looking at them and I’m sick of posting them. However, I gave my word to an unnamed bureaucrat at some obscure agency in London that I would post the whole series, and I’ll be damned if I go back on my word. My word is my bond, and you could learn a lot from me if you’d just throw away your childish antiquated notions about fairness and morality.

In a nutshell (help me, I’m in a nutshell and I can’t get out! Haha, remember when Mike Myers was funny?), the Awareness Tests have gone like this:

First test: Amazing
Second Test: Great
Third Test: Average
This final test: Piss poor

This is not so much a lesson for you as it is for me: Don’t go to the well too many times. Wow, it’s only 6: 30 am on a Friday morning and I’ve managed to learn more in the hour I’ve been awake today than I have in the whole month so far.

Any way, take the test and feel awkward like I did.

Test Your Awareness–Phone Joke Test

Friday, November 28th, 2008

I told you last week that Martin Utley, who works on behalf of Transport For London, sent me a few Test Your Awareness clips in the hopes that I would post them up for the good folks of Mitchieville, in order to bring awareness to London’s Transport Awareness program.

The Mayor agreed to post them, of course, I like doing things for my brothers and sisters across the pond. Besides, I really dig their funny accents and find it hard to say no to people that have these dialectical disabilities.

Test Your Awareness : Whodunnit?

Friday, November 21st, 2008

A while back I posted a YouTube vid regarding awareness. It was the Basketball Awareness Test and it was pretty great.

Well, Martin Utley who works on behalf of Transport For London, was kind enough to send me a few more Awareness Tests. Martin was also nice enough to send me a bus pass, and a coupon for 10% off fish & chips at Simon’s Fish House & Chip Emporium in downtown London. Those British folk sure are swell. As they say in London, “throw another shrimp on the barbie!”