Archive for the ‘The Facebook’ Category

#Twitterfail

Thursday, April 30th, 2015

Twitter shares fell nearly 20% Tuesday night after a financial service company posted Twitter revenue, first-quarter earnings, and user figures:

Revenue jumped 74 percent from the year-earlier period, but the total was worse than even the most pessimistic of the 36 analyst estimates compiled by Thomson Reuters.

The company’s second-quarter revenue outlook of $470 million to $485 million was also well below the average Wall Street forecast of $538 million.

“We anticipate the factors that affected our first-quarter results will also affect our 2015 guidance,” Twitter CEO Dick Costolo said in the company’s earnings call.

Monthly users went up and advertising revenue actually skyrocketed by 80% but the stock got clobbered after hours.

When it comes to social media sites like Twitter, the thing that always amazes The Mayor is not the increase in revenue they seem to turn every quarter, but the fact that their revenue is more than 1 cent. The Mayor can’t figure out how any of these sites make actual money. Do they make it by clicks? If so, does anyone know anyone, ever, who has actually clicked on one of their ads? Other than by mistake, of course.

How does Twitter make half a billion dollars not producing anything but clicks, and Facebook makes a magnitude of 10x what Twitter makes by actually not selling anything but clicks?

The Mayor knows there is more to it than that, but really there isn’t that much more to it than that.

The fact that social media sites make anything is astounding. They produce nothing. They can’t even outsource jobs to China because there aren’t any jobs to outsource.

Twitter, Facebook, Snapchat, LinkedIn, Pinterest, Instagram, Flickr – they are all worth billions, but eventually they will all have the same place in history alongside Myspace.

The Facebook Week – Wednesday Edition…On Thursday

Thursday, October 27th, 2011

The Facebook Hate Train® keeps a rollin’ down the track, and today The Mayor gives you another reason to avoid The Facebook at all cost. Look at that reptilian, wanting to be your *friend*. Really? You want to be my friend? Clean out my pool, you greasy gob of phlem.

The Mayor needs The Facebook friends like he needs *help* from the government. In other words, he doesn’t. You caught that though, right? The Mayor didn’t really need to explain it, amiright? Boy, the post sure took a wrong turn fast. Let just end this one right now.

**If you’re thinking Marc in Calgary√ is responsible for sending The Mayor today’s The Facebook page, you could not be more wrong. Pardon? He DID send The Mayor today’s The Facebook page? Then blame him, not The Mayor.

The Facebook Week

Tuesday, October 25th, 2011

The Mayor has been off The Facebook for about four months now. And when he says *off  The Facebook*, he means that he closed his account and never looked back. Zuckerman is part of the problem. He meets secretly with The Obama, and other than playing hide the weenie, who the hell knows what those two are up to. Whatever it is though, rest assured it aint helpin’.

Zuckerman is a top shelf liberal, a big big supporter of liberal causes and a big, big friend of the white house. So screw him and his stupid The Facebook. Besides, Zuckerman ripped off The Facebook idea from…well, you probably already know the story. Zuckerman is a thief, a liar and an Obama supporter and gives freely of his money to liberal causes. And is probably taking your private information and giving to you know who (and when you find out who, tell The Mayor).

Those are the reasons The Mayor is off The Facebook. Oh right, plus, The Facebook is boring as hell.

However, if there were more people like this guy, The Mayor would have to consider going back.

**Marc in CalgaryØ, who may or may not be on The Facebook, is pretty much solely responsible for this whole The Facebook Week.

The Facebook Week

Monday, October 24th, 2011

The Mayor came up with the idea of The Facebook Week after receiving an email from Marc in Calgary® a few week’s back. Marc© sent The Mayor a few examples of what could and should be included in The Facebook Week, as well as asking The Mayor when he was going to have The Facebook Week. It was at that exact moment, or perhaps a few days or week’s later, that The Mayor thought he should have a week called The Facebook Week and include every single thing Marc in Calgary™ said to include.

Poof! Pure magic, baby!

What is The Facebook Week all about, you ask? Again with the questions, again with a splitting headache from hell.

This right here, THIS is what The Facebook Week is all about.

**With help from Marc in Calgaryζ