As part of the maintenance package on his fleet of massive SUV’s, The Mayor insists that regular oil changes are done every 5000 km. Before the metric system was introduced, it was every 5000 miles, but now it is 5000 km. Funny that.
Since The Mayor’s personal mechanics are on summer vacation (2 week’s a year, unpaid), The Mayor had to take his favourite massive SUV in for an oil change today, and my, what a great experience it was.
The Mayor arrived at The Royal Dipstick Oil Changers at precisely 9 am, the time in which they open their bays. The Mayor was greated by a young lad who was about 17 years of age. He was the manager of a crew of 7.
The Mayor asked for the $29.99 special, which included an oil change, filter, and a check of some of the inner-workings of his vehicle. He was told that wouldn’t be a problem, but for a few extra dollars, his SUV’s oil could be upgraded to a far superior kind. “Let’s do that, The Mayor said, nothing is too good for this truck”.
A few minutes after the work began, the young lad of 17 came out from the service bay and gave his Honour some rather bad news – The Mayor’s massive SUV would need a new air filter. The air filter which was currently installed was dirty and clogged with crud. “Put ‘er in, The Mayor said, nothing is too good for this truck”. So it was done.
A few short minutes later the young lad of 17 came out with some more bad news – the windshield wipers were showing signs of wear, and the serpentine belt was on its last legs. This startled The Mayor, he needs safe windshield blades and a serpentine belt. “Why yes, install those bad boys, The Mayor said, nothing is too good for this truck. So it was done.
From there, the news kept getting worse and worse. “Your struts are kaput. Your brake line is leaking. Your left headlight is shot and your right taillight isn’t working. Would you like us to fix that for you, Mr Mayor?”
“Yes, yes, yes and yes.” So it was done.
As if things couldn’t get any worse, The Mayor was soon informed that his cooling system needed to be flushed, his fuel injector would have to be cleaned, the driveline fluid needed changing, the engine needed to be flushed, and the PVC valve needed to be replaced.
“That sounds reasonable, said The Mayor.” So it was done.
And then the bad part came – The Mayor’s massive SUV would also need a battery (or two, everything is a bit foggy), an engine shampoo, 2 litres of anti-freeze, 1 litre of pro-freeze, and a few buckets of power steering fluid.
“Heck, that is all part of regular maintenance, The Mayor supposes, let -er be done.”
And with that, the oil change was complete.
The Mayor handed over his VISA Infinity card (air miles, dontchaknow), and the young lad of 17 charged up $1435.98 on The Mayor’s card. The best money he’s ever spent, by the by.
Thank you, The Royal Dipstick Oil Changers. You have always been completely honest with The Mayor.