Archive for the ‘The Mayor's Lunch’ Category

The Mayor’s Breakfast

Monday, September 17th, 2012

The Mayor suggests trying this delightful cookie with a tumbler of Lagavulin 16-Year-Old Scotch. For those more *price conscious* Mitchievillians, The Mayor suggest downing these wonderful cookies with a stein of Valu-Rite vodka. No smell, no tell, biznitch!

What’s In The Mayor’s Lunch?

Thursday, February 10th, 2011

It’s been two and a half years since we last played What’s In The Mayor’s Lunch? Today though, The Mayor woke up at 4:30 in the am, and the first thought that came into his head, after “man, I really gotta take a leak”, was, “today, we play What’s In The Mayor’s Lunch?”

True story. Tell your friends.

For those of you not familiar with this game, the rules are rather complicated, but after a few months of playing I’m sure you will catch on to the many subtleties of this award-winning (Juno) game.

Here are the rules:

1) Guess what is in The Mayor’s lunch.

You may want to take a minute to digest that.

From time to time The Mayor will give you a hint as to what is in his lunch. Unfortunately for you, today is not the day The Mayor is going to do that. I will tell you though that The Mayor packed (or had one packed by his manservannt, Cheaves) a nutritious lunch. One that included a drink of a fruit variety.

What do you know, there’s a hint where one wasn’t suppose to be.

What’s In The Mayor’s Lunch?

What’s In The Mayor’s Lunch Today?

Tuesday, December 7th, 2010

**What’s in The Mayor’s Lunch Today? goes all the way back to June of 2008. Remember June 2008? Unemployment under the evil Bush was about 4.5%, America still had an economy, and the world hated the USA but were too scared to do jack-shit about it. Now? Uh huh, double everything and add 20, my friends.

For those of you not in the know, What’s In The Mayor’s Lunch? was a game that was part of a larger contest, that when all was said and done, Chris Taylor was the victor. Chris was promised a bunch of prizes, but The Mayor managed to stiff him and never paid out. I will get you those prizes, Chris, I’m just waiting for spring for the new crop of maple syrup. Man, did it just get uncomfortable in here?

The only secret that was guarded more than What’s in The Mayors Lunch?, was the secret to how they got the caramel into the Caramilk bar. Now that we know that they get the caramel into the Caramilk bar by shoving the crap in with their fingers, that makes whatever is in my lunch a bigger secret.

I thought I’d share that with you this morning, I know you care.

Here is what I had in my lunch last week: Turkey sandwich on rye, orange juice, chips, pudding cup, can of peaches.

Out of 70, I would rate last week’s lunch at about 42 1/2.

Let’s see what is going on at the leader board:

Todd –0/5 = 155 carbon credits
Chris Taylor –1/5 = 145 carbon credits
Larry–1/5 = 135 credits
Dmorris–0/5 = 105 credits
Rhebner 0/5 = 85 carbon credits
Nancy 2/5 = 75 carbon credits
Reg–0/5 = 75 carbon credits
Linds 0/5 = 75 carbon credits <—– VERY pregnant
Mech Eng–0/5 = 45 credits
J.M. Heinrichs 0/5 = 45 carbon credits
Darren 0/5 = 45 carbon credits 55 carbon credits
Cudgel–1/5= 45.214325 carbon credits
Mr Fortner–30 Credits
Daily Bayonet–0/5 = 30 credits 30 credits
Fenris Badwulf–0/5 = 30 credits
OMMAG 0/5 = 30 carbon credits
Polska 30 carbon credits
Frozen Tex 20 carbon credits

Nancy made her way up the board this week rather nicely. Even Cudgel, who doesn’t even want to win, managed to finagle his way up a few spots. It is getting very crowded at the top of the board though. Only a few points separate Todd, Chris and Larry.

I’m convinced that if you want to get up the board, play this game. To make it a little easier this week, I’m going to give you a few hints as to what I packed.

I have a sandwich in my lunch this week, and it has meat in it. I have a bottled drink. I have fruit in the form of something that was picked off a tree.

There you go, three hints to help you.

I have five things in my lunch this week, you are allowed five guesses only. Each correct answer this week results in 20 points. Holy crap, 20 points? Thems alot of points, padre.

What Is In The Mayor’s Lunch Today

What’s In The Mayor’s Lunch Today?

Monday, June 23rd, 2008

If you guessed that The Mayor had anything other than a ham and Swiss on rye, a juice box of OJ, a bottle of water, some wedding cake and a Swiss roll, in his lunch last week, then you sir/madam, were incorrect. Or, you may have been partially correct.

Some folks have pointed out that the lunches I have packed the last several weeks are not very nutritious. Others have pointed out that my lunches are bland and weak. Some of you have pointed out that I am a mountain of a man and if I wanted to I could probably smite the whole damn bunch of you. I will answer all three of these responses accordingly: 1) fuck you 2) fuck you 3) you are wise.

Lettuce (haha, I meant let us) have a look at the revised totals for our little game:

Chris Taylor –1/5 = 245 carbon credits
Todd –0/5 = 220 carbon credits
Larry–1/5 = 220 credits
Dmorris–1/5 = 140 credits
Nancy 1/5 = 105 carbon credits
Linds 1/5 = 95 carbon credits <----- VERY pregnant
Rhebner 0/5 = 85 carbon credits
Cudgel–0/5= 56.8481 carbon credits
Reg–0/5 = 75 carbon credits
Mech Eng–0/5 = 45 credits
J.M. Heinrichs 0/5 = 45 carbon credits
Darren 0/5 = 45 carbon credits 55 carbon credits
Polska 1/5 45 carbon credits
Mr Fortner–30 Credits
Daily Bayonet–0/5 = 30 credits 30 credits
Fenris Badwulf–0/5 = 30 credits
OMMAG 0/5 = 30 carbon credits
Dino 1/5 30 credits
Frozen Tex 20 carbon credits
Dave (new player) 1/5 20 Credits

A few things to note this week: I’m surprised not more of you clued in that I would bring wedding cake with me for lunch last week considering I got married but a few days before that. Secondly, Larry is now ties with Todd (who didn’t play), meaning, Todd is sinking faster than the Titanic and Larry is but a few points away from top spot. and finally, considering that cudgel hasn’t actually answered one question correctly out of all the games we have played, he is doing quite well.

This week, I have three things in my lunch and all of them are worth 10 points each. I’ll give you a hint as to what two of them are: One of them is of a juice box variety and I also have a sandwich.

Good luck to you all, we are near the finish line. This is a race that will go down in the annals of blog history (haha, that word is close to anal)

What’s In The Mayor’s Lunch Today?

Monday, June 16th, 2008

The bean counters who are suppose to be keeping track of the totals for this contest were obviously high on Elmer’s glue when they totaled the MindTrap Friday questions from a few weeks ago. Instead on multiplying, they divided. Instead of adding, they subtracted. Instead of coming to the correct totals, they dropped the ball and will be reprimanded by a series of swift kicks to their balls.

Here are what the revised totals look like, before I add the new totals from last week’s What’s in my Lunch?

Todd –0/5 = 220 carbon credits
Chris Taylor –1/5 = 215 carbon credits
Larry–0/5 = 165 credits
Dmorris–1/5 = 125 credits
Rhebner 0/5 = 85 carbon credits
Nancy 1/5 = 95 carbon credits
Reg–0/5 = 75 carbon credits
Linds 1/5 = 95 carbon credits <----- VERY pregnant
Mech Eng–0/5 = 45 credits
J.M. Heinrichs 0/5 = 45 carbon credits
Darren 0/5 = 45 carbon credits 55 carbon credits
Cudgel–0/5= 49.214325 carbon credits
Mr Fortner–30 Credits
Daily Bayonet–0/5 = 30 credits 30 credits
Fenris Badwulf–0/5 = 30 credits
OMMAG 0/5 = 30 carbon credits
Polska 30 carbon credits
Frozen Tex 20 carbon credits
Dave (new player) 1/5 20 Credits
Dino 1/5 20 credits

This is where it gets tricky. First, I will count up the points from last week’s What’s in The Mayor’s Lunch. I will leave out the trivia points until we do trivia again, which will be this Friday. Then we will be fully caught up. Possibly.

Here is what I had in my lunch: I had 2 hamburgers from the grill, an orange juice-box, an apple, a granola bar and some left-over noodle kaboodle (that’s kind of impossible to guess).

Let’s see how everyone did:

Todd –1/5 = 220 carbon credits
Chris Taylor –1/5 = 215 carbon credits
Dmorris–2/5 = 165 credits
Larry–0/5 = 135 credits
Rhebner 0/5 = 85 carbon credits
Nancy 0/5 = 95 carbon credits
Reg–0/5 = 75 carbon credits
Linds 0/5 = 95 carbon credits <----- VERY pregnant
Mech Eng–0/5 = 45 credits
J.M. Heinrichs 0/5 = 45 carbon credits
Darren 0/5 = 45 carbon credits 55 carbon credits
Cudgel–0/5= 49.214325 carbon credits
Mr Fortner–30 Credits
Daily Bayonet–0/5 = 30 credits 30 credits
Fenris Badwulf–0/5 = 30 credits
OMMAG 0/5 = 30 carbon credits
Polska 30 carbon credits
Frozen Tex 20 carbon credits
Dave (new player) 0/5 20 Credits
Dino 1/5 40 credits

There is a good chance that those totals are completely correct.

I’m without a juicebox this week, I have a can of juice, but what juice could it possibly be? Once again, I have some food off the bbq, and I also have some snacks kicking about from the wedding. Notice how I mentioned *snacks* and not snack. I pluralized that son of a bitch.

Good luck to all, we are nearly in the home stretch.

What’s In The Mayor’s Lunch Today?

Monday, June 9th, 2008

We had a good response to last week’s What’s In The Mayor’s Lunch Today? I attribute the good response to the overall fascination people have, and have had, with my lunch.

Ever since I was a little child, kids have been wondering what was in my lunch. I remember in grade 2, little Jimmy Wiseborough asked me every day for a month what was in my lunch. It took a series of beatings and a restraining order to get Jimmy to fly right and stop violating my rights. That same year, little Suzie Pritchard told me that she wanted to actually be my lunch. Looking back at that now, I’m sure Suzie meant that she wanted me to eat her like she was my lunch, suggesting something of a sexual nature. I feel nothing but pity for Suzie, she was a slut from the get-go and deserved God’s wrath when he gave her an incurable STD.

The lunch that I had Larry from Dust My Broom pack for me last week consisted of Ham sandwich on white, a bottle of apple juice, a pear, a stinkin’ granola bar and cheese and crackers.

Let’s have a look at the Leader Board and admire the people that are adorning the top of it:

Todd –1/5 = 175 carbon credits
Chris Taylor –1/5 = 165 carbon credits
Larry–0/5 = 135 credits
Dmorris–1/5 = 125 credits
Rhebner 0/5 = 85 carbon credits
Nancy 1/5 = 95 carbon credits
Reg–0/5 = 75 carbon credits
Linds 1/5 = 95 carbon credits <----- VERY pregnant
Mech Eng–0/5 = 45 credits
J.M. Heinrichs 0/5 = 45 carbon credits
Darren 0/5 = 45 carbon credits 55 carbon credits
Cudgel–0/5= 49.214325 carbon credits
Mr Fortner–30 Credits
Daily Bayonet–0/5 = 30 credits 30 credits
Fenris Badwulf–0/5 = 30 credits
OMMAG 0/5 = 30 carbon credits
Polska 30 carbon credits
Frozen Tex 20 carbon credits
Dave (new player) 1/5 20 Credits
Dino 1/5 20 credits

I liked the idea of giving you a few hints last week, so, I think I’ll try that again. This week I have no sandwich, I have something that I made on the BBQ last week. My drink is in a juice box and once again, the fruit I have packed will have been picked off a tree.

I will accept your first 5 answers with each correct answer counting for 20 points. If you haven’t submitted your answers to last Friday’s trivia questions, you only have a few days left, so, chop chop.

So, What’s In The Mayor’s Lunch Today?

What’s In The Mayor’s Lunch Today?

Monday, June 2nd, 2008

The only secret that was guarded more than What’s in The Mayors Lunch?, was the secret to how they got the caramel into the Caramilk bar. Now that we know that they get the caramel into the Caramilk bar by shoving the crap in with their fingers, that makes whatever is in my lunch a bigger secret.

I thought I’d share that with you this morning, I know you care.

Here is what I had in my lunch last week: Turkey sandwich on rye, orange juice, chips, pudding cup, can of peaches.

Out of 70, I would rate last week’s lunch at about 42 1/2.

Let’s see what is going on at the leader board:

Todd –0/5 = 155 carbon credits
Chris Taylor –1/5 = 145 carbon credits
Larry–1/5 = 135 credits
Dmorris–0/5 = 105 credits
Rhebner 0/5 = 85 carbon credits
Nancy 2/5 = 75 carbon credits
Reg–0/5 = 75 carbon credits
Linds 0/5 = 75 carbon credits <----- VERY pregnant
Mech Eng–0/5 = 45 credits
J.M. Heinrichs 0/5 = 45 carbon credits
Darren 0/5 = 45 carbon credits 55 carbon credits
Cudgel–1/5= 45.214325 carbon credits
Mr Fortner–30 Credits
Daily Bayonet–0/5 = 30 credits 30 credits
Fenris Badwulf–0/5 = 30 credits
OMMAG 0/5 = 30 carbon credits
Polska 30 carbon credits
Frozen Tex 20 carbon credits

Nancy made her way up the board this week rather nicely. Even Cudgel, who doesn’t even want to win, managed to finagle his way up a few spots. It is getting very crowded at the top of the board though. Only a few points separate Todd, Chris and Larry.

I’m convinced that if you want to get up the board, play this game. To make it a little easier this week, I’m going to give you a few hints as to what I packed.

I have a sandwich in my lunch this week, and it has meat in it. I have a bottled drink. I have fruit in the form of something that was picked off a tree.

There you go, three hints to help you.

I have five things in my lunch this week, you are allowed five guesses only. Each correct answer this week results in 20 points. Holy crap, 20 points? Thems alot of points, padre.

What Is In The Mayor’s Lunch Today

What’s In The Mayor’s Lunch Today?

Monday, May 26th, 2008

My lunch wasn’t as delicious last week as it usually is. I find that out of the three main meals I have every day, I look forward to lunch the most, but yet it is my least favourite of the big three. Breakfast is suppose to be the most important meal of the day, dinner is the big meal of the day, and lunch? Ya, it’s the red-headed step-child.

Still though, we push on. We push on towards 300 Carbon Credits to Fortune and Fame. What was in The Mayor’s lunch last week? A can of Coke, a ham sandwich, Rice Crispy treats, and apple and a bottle of water.

Some people have asked me why I bring a plastic bottle to work when I can have free water from the tap and cause less of a harm to the environment while doing it. Well, first off, I don’t like that kind of commie talk at City Hall, and secondly, people should stay out of my lunch like I stay out of their bedroom. My lunch isn’t a discussion piece for a bunch of Stalanists.

Todd –1/5 = 110 carbon credits
Chris Taylor –1/5 = 15 credits 85 carbon credits
Larry–3/5 = 75 credits
Reg–1/3 = 15 credits 45 carbon credits
Mech Eng–1/5 = 45 credits
Rhebner 40 carbon credits
Mr Fortner–30 Credits
Daily Bayonet–2/3 = 30 credits 30 credits
Dmorris–2/3 = 30 credits 30 credits
Linds 30 carbon credits
Fenris Badwulf–1/5 = 15 credits
Nancy 30 carbon credits
Polska 30 carbon credits
Frozen Tex 20 carbon credits
Cudgel–1/5 = 15.63
Darren 10 carbon credits

A quick look at the board tells me that Larry was the big winner last week, going 3/5. You would figure that Larry would have gone 5/5 as he packs my lunches every day, but no, he only went 3/5.

I live a simple life, I have simple lunches. Looking back on the history of this game, I can see that my lunches really do need some improvement. Although that won’t happen this week.

This week, all correct answers are worth 15 carbon credits. Good luck to all those whose participate. For those of you that are not participating, I’m taking names, so watch yer step, partner.

So, What’s In The Mayor’s Lunch Today?

What’s In The Mayor’s Lunch Today?

Tuesday, May 20th, 2008

The march towards 300 Carbon Credits to Fortune and Fame continues. At last tally, Todd was winning by an ever so slight margin. I’m sure though that after last week’s What’s in The Mayor’s Lunch Today?, the leader board will have a new face and everyone’s totals will be drastically changed.

Let me look through the answers from last week. Well what do you know? Not one person correctly guessed even one thing I had in my lunch last week. Meaning, Todd is still in charge, leading the way with 50 carbon credits. As they say in Australia, “Good job, Todd”. Man, those Australian’s sure do have some funny sayings.

For those of you that are interested, meaning, none of you, I happened to have a turkey sandwich on rye, a bottle of water, an orange juice, a maple granola bar and a small can of peaches in my lunch last week. And it was delicious. Fuck you.

This week I am awarding 15 carbon credits for each correct answer. I have exactly five things in my lunch, and you have five guesses. I would say that I am excited to bring this contest to you again, but it seems this segment of the contest is turning into a colossal disaster. Good thing disasters are a fetish of mine.

So, What’s In The Mayor’s Lunch Today?

What’s In The Mayor’s Lunch Today?

Monday, May 12th, 2008

The quest to attain 300 carbon credits continues today, you best be closing the door, we wouldn’t want the excitement to escape. Do you see what I did there? I made the word excitement into a human form and gave it characteristics of a human. I feel as if the creative writing course I have been taking has paid immediate dividends.

If you have not yet read and participated in last Friday’s Trivia, you have until this Thursday night to get your answers in. Even if you are not sure of all the answers, even if you only know one answer, it will still help, all correct answers count for 10 carbon credits. And truth be told, that’s nothing to sneeze at.

We now move on to What’s In The Mayor’s Lunch Today? We had a trial run of this game a few weeks ago and it was a smashing success. The energy level was high, the booze flowed like water, and the chicks really digged my shit.

Not many of the participants of the game answered correctly as to what I had in my lunch, but a few of the participants had a couple of things right, which impressed The Mayor.

For instance, Linds thought I had an orange juice in my lunch, which I did. Dmorris thought I had a granola bar, which I did. Dinosaur thought I had a spoon, which I did. Most of you thought I had some form of booze, which I didn’t, but I congratulate you for taking the piss out of me.

This game is simple: I have 5 things in my lunch today, it is up to you to guess what those five things are. You are allowed a maximum of five guesses. Each correct answer is worth 10 carbon credits. By the way, you look great in those pants, your ass does not look big at all.

Good luck to everybody, I wish you could all win. However, in truth, very few of you are winners, most of you will stand on the sidewalk and clap as the winners walk by. There is nothing wrong with that.

What’s In The Mayor’s Lunch Today?

Monday, April 28th, 2008

I’ve been mentioning for a few weeks that Mitchieville was on the verge of running one of the most exciting contests the blogosphere has ever seen. And you know what? We are still on the verge. We are on the verge, but closer to the verge than ever before. We are so close to the verge that we can smell the verge’s breath.

We would have had the contest up and running sooner, but with Fenris’ bad health, that thing that happened with Reg and the mule, and that whole bullshit restraining order I had slapped on me by the Mennonites, the timing just wasn’t right.

However, starting this Friday, the contest of all mothereffin’ contests will begin. Not only will this contest be the most exciting contest you have ever witnessed, but it will also be the most confusing and rule oriented contest you have ever seen. There are now officially over 340 rules and regulations–all fun and exciting rules and regulations, designed for maximum jollity.

There are three games (so far) that will be part of the contest: MindTrap, Trivia Tuesday with Fenris (I hope he’s feeling better), and What’s In The Mayor’s Lunch Today? The object of all the games is to answer as many questions as you can correctly. The first person to reach 300 carbon credits is the grand champion and will be showered with prizes and gifts (gifts and prizes to be revealed this Friday).

Along the way, there will be special questions with an extra amount of carbon credits assigned to the question, special prizes awarded, and a whole host of things we haven’t invented yet. All this is designed for you, our loyal Mitchievillian reader.

I’ll discuss this contest a little more as the week goes on. First though, let’s play What’s In The Mayor’s Lunch Today?

This game is relatively simple, so simple even a garden variety socialist could figure it out. I have a lunch bag and in that lunch bag is my lunch, duh. Today I have 6 articles of food in my lunch. If we were playing the contest, each correct answer you get would be worth 10 carbon credits. It is your job to guess the various food articles I have in my lunch bag.

Simple? Oui.

So, What’s In The Mayor’s Lunch Today?