Archive for the ‘Thought of the Day’ Category

Rabies outbreak at the shopping mall

Tuesday, May 1st, 2012

Are you prepared? I looked over at the mob gathering outside the shopping mall, they were clustered around a Paramedic vehicle. In front of the EMS was a firetruck. A cop was parked in the wheelchair spot; he was doing something on his computer. But I knew that this daily hum drum, standard emergency response, was not the heteronormative scenario of heart attack, stroke, or child choking victim. I took a sip of my coffee and waited for the inevitable. This was a rabies outbreak at the shopping mall: and nobody was prepared * *



Friday, February 10th, 2012

The Mayor often wonders how many of the 650000 lives lost during the US Civil War could have been prevented had the Kellet Cobra XX-9 not been introduced by Yankee forces?


This Is True

Friday, January 21st, 2011

Anyone that owns or has ever owned a business knows that the above graphic is 100% true. So true that The Mayor printed off two thousand copies of it and wallpapered his office.

Journalista Warning Label

Wednesday, September 15th, 2010

Happens all the time. And not just by The Mayor of Mitchieville, oh no. This takes place by people whose job it is to actually report the news. How many times have you read an article only to realize that a few minutes before you happened to read large swaths of the exact same thing from another news source?

Journalista’s are lazy, but they’ll be glad to tell you how impossibly hard their job is. Because copy & pasting is brutal, back-breaking work.

**Tom Scott- who The Mayor has ripped off many times before…hey, look at me, I could be a “reporter”.

The Definitive Explanation of ……. Marketing

Sunday, November 15th, 2009


This will clear up any confusion …
You’re a woman and you see a handsome man at a party.
You go up to him and say, “I’m fantastic in bed.”
That’s Direct Marketing.

You’re at a party with a bunch of friends and see a handsome man.
One of your friends goes up to him and pointing at you says, “She’s fantastic in bed.”
That’s Advertising..

You see a handsome man at a party.
You go up to him and get his telephone number.
The next day you call and say, “Hi, I’m fantastic in bed.”
That’s Telemarketing. 

You see a man at a party, you straighten your dress.
You walk up to him and pour him a drink.
You say, “May I,” and reach up to straighten his tie, brushing your breast lightly against his arm…
And then say, “By the way, I’m fantastic in bed.”
That’s Public Relations.

You’re at a party and see a handsome man.
He walks up to you and says, I hear you’re fantastic in bed.”
That’s Brand Recognition.

You’re at a party and see a handsome man.
He fancies you, but you talk him into going home with your friend.
That’s a Sales Rep.

Your friend can’t satisfy him so she calls you.
That’s Tech Support.

You’re on your way to a party when you realize that there could be handsome
men in all these houses you’re passing. So you climb onto the roof of
one situated towards the centre and shout at the top of your lungs, “I’m fantastic in bed!”
That’s Junk Mail.

I hope you all have a complete understanding of Marketing now .

**The Retired Geez sent this to The Mayor via electronic mail. I could not be happier.

Thought Of The Day…

Saturday, August 29th, 2009


Andy sent this to me a few days ago, and it dawned on me that I should run a “Thought of the Day” every so often. This is the every so often I just told you about. Andy truly believes that everyone, no matter what race, colour or creed, should have at least one thought every day. I could hardly agree more.

And that’s my thought of the day.