Archive for the ‘Tombstone & Headstone’ Category
Short, sweet and to the point. The Mayor also heard the same guy has a plot for his pooch, and the inscription on it is “Dog”.
He’s a man of few words, but the ones he does know he knows how to use ‘em.
The Mayor is sure that most of you are still waiting for the conclusion of Best Fast Food French Fries Week, and since you have been so patient The Mayor will give you a hint as to who walked away with the gold medal – it was McDonald’s. That was actually more of an answer than a hint, wasn’t it? The Mayor has always had trouble distinguishing between the two. Just as he has trouble distinguishing between a headstone and a tombstone.
I suppose the main difference between a tombstone and a headstone is that a headstone is a marker at the head of a grave, where as a tombstone is a city in Arizona. When you think about it there really is a river of differences between the two.
As for today’s tombstone/headstone/gravestone (gravestone – don’t get me started), even though The Mayor is of British descent, he still digs the fact that buddy offed a bunch of my peoples, then got shot, bayoneted, beaten and left for dead; yet survived and lived to a ripe old age. It would have been tons cooler though if he offed a bunch of Mexicans instead, but it’s a little late to change history.
Mel Blanc was Jewish? A Jew in Hollywood? Wow, talk about fighting the odds.
Small wonders never cease. What next, a gay guy hosting a home decorating show?
And that concludes Tombstone & Headstone Week. Put a fork in it, it’s done.
I’ve posted this picture before, but I had to bring it back for Tombstone Week, it packs a powerful message. If I was to guess, I would say John was a rather crafty fella. I think I would have liked him.
I once got into an argument with this woman who claimed to be Merv Griffin’s lover. This was a day or so after Merv passed away, and I posted a title called, “A Flaming Homosexual — Who Is Merv Griffin?” Some chick lost it on me and emailed me telling me how Merv was straight and was such a caring and warm man, blah blah.
I issued her an apology, properly titled, “An Apology To Merv Griffin’s Lover”.
You should go read the apology I wrote her. I had forgotten about that episode until a few minutes ago when I pulled up his tombstone picture. I can honestly say, I’m not proud of that post, but hot damn did I just finish with a bout of the giggles.
I still miss Merv, but not as much as I miss Vanilla Coke. Man, that stuff is the shit!
At first I thought this was the headstone of the dude that was center square in the Hollywood Squares. Then TLDG told me that the center square guy is actually Paul LYNDE, So, the headstone you see in front of you doesn’t belong to a homosexual actor/comedian wh0 may or may not have killed his gay lover 43 years ago by pushing him out a 9th floor window after a drug and booze-fueled party weekend.
Then again, it very well might be. It’s really a 50/50 chance.
I haven’t made up my mind what the wording will be on my headstone when I pass away (not that I’m sick, but I did pull my back out yesterday afternoon), but I’ll probably incorporate, “He was The Mayor of the 49th fastest growing community in NE Durham Region, Ontario, Canada, North America, The World. And now he’s maggot food”.
Possibly too wordy, I might just have to go with, “Blogging killed him”.
Ten bucks that’ll end up being accurate.