Archive for the ‘Toronto City of Light’ Category

The CN Tower – 1975

Wednesday, January 23rd, 2013

The Toronto CN Tower was actually completed in 1976 and was, at the time, the tallest free-standing structure in the world. It has since been surpassed, but The Mayor couldn’t tell you by what or by where, and to look that type of information up would take valuable seconds. Try Wiki if you’re really curious.

The Mayor remembers the construction and opening of the tower, he was just a young lad at the time. He remembers commenting to his father that the CN Tower looked like a sword. Later that day The Mayor kissed little Molly Johnson on the cheek and then shit his pants an hour after that. What a day. What wonderful memories.

King St East, Toronto, 1856

Wednesday, January 9th, 2013

From the City of Toronto archives, this is one of the earliest known photos of the city.

King St runs east/west, and The Mayor is thinking this picture was taken around the King/Yonge area.

Could be wrong though. Buehler?

The City Of Light Skyline 2020

Monday, October 22nd, 2012

It certainly looks as though the next 8 or so years will bring many changes to Toronto. The obvious and biggest change the City of Light will see is that all new structures being built in the next 8 years will be either painted red, blue, yellow or green. That’s the power of diversity, all the colours of the rainbow are represented. My, aren’t we lucky?

Things You See On The Subway

Monday, October 1st, 2012

Gangbangers, people urinating in the cars, vomit on the seats, muggings, old meth whores pleasuring themselves, the mentally disturbed *expressing themselves*, and this. And that’s all on a good day. Ugggh.

Toronto City Councilors Kick Their Constituents In The Plastic Bag

Thursday, June 7th, 2012

Following the lead of their inbred, idiot cousins from Los Angeles, Toronto city councilors have voted to ban the use of plastic bags starting next year. Which proves that no matter what city you live in, if you were to take your councilors and put them in any other city in North America, you would not notice the political ideology change even slightly:

Toronto city council voted Wednesday to ban plastic bags effective Jan. 1 and to scrap the city’s five-cent bag fee starting July 1.

City councillors voted 27-17 Wednesday to prohibit all Toronto retail stores from providing customers with single-use plastic bags starting next year. Councillors also voted 23-21 to trash the three-year old nickel fee for plastic bags effective next month.

Canada’s largest city came to the decision to ban plastic bags in a surprising way. Councillors had been debating Mayor Rob Ford’s push to kill the plastic bag fee when Councillor David Shiner introduced a motion to ban bags. The bag ban vote came without legal advice, with no public consultation, no report from city staff and no statutory notice.

While he applauded the end of the bag tax, Ford said a plastic bag ban “doesn’t make any sense” and was “ludicrous”.

“I think we’re going to get sued,” he told reporters. “I don’t see how we’re going to win that.”

“It’s not a smart move by council to ban plastic bags.”

Notice how the very same socialist councilors that voted for and praised the 5 cent tax on plastic bags, and have now voted to get rid of plastic bags entirely, are now saying it’s a great thing for the public, as they have rid them of the 5 cent plastic bag tax which they themselves introduced.

There’s absolutely no justification for banning plastic bags, other than the socialists on council are trying to make Conservative Mayor Rob Ford look bad. As the grand poobah of idiocy, comrade Adam Vaughn stated, “Ford “can’t get an issue steered through council without all hell breaking loose.”

Of course, it’s the malcontents and deviants like Vaughn that are making things impossible for Ford, as they are the ones voting on such stupid things like this, instead of concentrating on getting Toronto out of the billion dollar debts and deficits that they themselves created by introducing such stupid taxes and laws like the one you see before you.

Folks, we have to face facts here: socialists want to see you dead. They’ll do everything in their power to make life miserable for you – imposing these completely insane laws, jacking up taxes that’ll get you to the point where sleeping in a cardboard box will seem like the Hilton, and taking away every right you have until you are powerless, broke, and suicidal. Socialists are evil swine that never stop imposing dumb shit on us. Toronto is falling apart and these morons are voting to ban plastic bags. Fiddlin’ while Toronto burns.

If you are a resident of Toronto and still have at least one functioning brain cell, get the hell out before they take it, tax it, or make it illegal to have it.

Jack Layton’s Name Memorialized

Wednesday, June 6th, 2012

Toronto Mayor Rob Ford will ask city councilors next week to rename the Toronto Islands docks The Jack Layton Ferry Terminal, as a tribute to the late Jack Layton:

Mayor Rob Ford will ask Toronto City Council next week to waive the usual two-year waiting period and formally rename the launching point for ferries to the Toronto Islands the “Jack Layton Ferry Terminal.”

The Mayor can think of no better way to memorialize Jack Layton and all he stood for than by renaming the docks The Jack Layton Ferry.


Ladies & Gentlemen – Your 2012 Toronto Maple Leafs

Thursday, April 26th, 2012

The Mayor is wondering though, why are the Sedin sisters posing for the 2012 Maple Leaf calendar? Has there been a trade? The Mayor knows that Luongo will soon become a Leaf. But the Sedin sisters? Getouttahere!

Toronto’s Glass Condo’s – They’ll Tumble For You

Tuesday, November 15th, 2011

Like the grades of the children of the plantation worker’ of Toronto, city condos are failing and falling apart, and within the next few decades will need zillions of dollars to bring them back to snuff:

Many of the glass condominium towers filling up the Toronto skyline will fail 15 to 25 years after they’re built, perhaps even earlier, and will need retrofits costing millions of dollars, say some industry experts.

Buyers drawn to glass-walled condos because of the price and spectacular views may soon find themselves grappling with nightmarish problems, including:

Insulation failures.

Water leaks.

Skyrocketing energy and maintenance costs.

Declining resale potential.

One developer calls glass-walled condos “throw-away buildings” because of their short lifespan relative to buildings with walls made of concrete or brick.

“We believe that somewhere between, say, five and 15 [years], many, many of those units will fail,” said David House of Earth Development.

Do you mean to tell The Mayor that those cheaply built 450′ glass condos that sell for $750,000 are soon going to be running into maintenance problems? Wow, colour me with disbelief.

The Mayor never did end up finishing the article, as he was too busy LAUGHING HIS ASS OFF. Dontcha worry though, Toronto condo owners’ – sure, you live in a shoebox. Sure, you’ll have health problems your whole life due to the mold problem that is about to attack your central nervous system. Sure, the condo you bought for $750,000 last year is now worth $121, 500. And sure, now maintenance fee’s with double every year until you’re dead in the ground (that’ll only be about 5-7 years though – lucky!), BUT, and this is a BIG but, a but slightly smaller than Rosie O’Donnell’s massive land blotch of an ass – BUT, at least you live in a trendy neighbourhood in a glitzy condo.

Now get outta here and go cough up a garbage bag full of blood and mucus, you trendy, glitzy kids!

Toronto The Shithole Is Going To Be Wiped Off The Planet

Wednesday, October 12th, 2011

According to a new report by the Toronto Community Foundation (???), half the population of Toronto faces a lower quality of life by 2025 if systemic problems are not immediately addressed:

The gap between the rich and the poor is growing.

Skilled immigrants are twice as likely to be unemployed as Canadians born here.

Child poverty rates increased more than 40 per cent in one year.

“The report projects a complete disappearance of the city’s middle income neighbourhoods by 2025. Already there are one million people living in Toronto’s low and very low income neighbourhoods, the report stated.

The widening income gap could have far-reaching repercussions for the overall well being of Torontonians, added the report, as poverty is a barrier to academic success, employability and good health.

“We need a vision for our city that sees us through for the long-term, and the world needs us to succeed,”said Bhardwaj.

Indeed. The world will cease to exist if it loses Toronto.

There are a few immediate steps we can take in order to remedy these serious and far-reaching problems. As everyone knows, immigration is our future. Therefore, we need to increase our already massive and unchecked immigration levels. We have been told for decades that immigrants bring prosperity to our shores, and seeing as though bringing 300,000 immigrants a year to this sparsely populated country has failed to raise our standard of living, it’s obvious we just haven’t been bringing in enough immigrants. Effective immediately, the Canadian federal government should raise the level of unskilled immigrants to 800,000. Seeing as though half of all immigrants go to Toronto to live, this will be a boon for Toronto.

More midnight basketball courts and community centers. Building even more midnight basketball courts and community centers not only creates construction jobs, but also strengthens our communities.

More social services. Welfare, *free* health care, *free* dental care, *free* housing, *free* prescription eyewear, *free* education at any college or university, *free* breakfasts for school children, food banks, etc, are simply not enough. In order to help the marginalized and downtrodden of Toronto, a program consisting of *free* midnight snacks should be available to each and every citizen of the City of Light®. Far too many Torontonians don’t have access to midnight snacks. Grumbling tummies make it hard to get a good nights sleep, and without a good nights sleep, it’s impossible to wake up in a good mood. And waking up in a bad mood makes it impossible for the downtrodden to get off their collective lazy asses and find jobs.

It breaks The Mayor’s heart (The Mayor of Mitchieville, that is), to know that new Canadians are not as rich as Canadians that have been here for generations. New Canadians should have access to immediate wealth. Heck knows if we went to their country of origin they would give us the same advantages. Boy, it sure is hard living in a racist shithole.

It’s Like Daycare For Unwanted Children

Sunday, April 3rd, 2011

There isn’t a garbage can big enough for all the ugly children The Mayor sees on a daily basis. Today was a prime example. Have you ever been to a town or city that you’re visiting and you notice that everyone around you is dirt ugly? Today, TLDG took The Mayor for a little trip about an hour or so outside Mitchieville, and we both noticed that everyone in this town was putrid. The children were especially ugly.

Everywhere we went in this place the people were either as ugly or uglier than the minute before. It was incredible. The Mayor isn’t even exaggerating. The best looking person in this town looked no better than a can of crushed arseholes.

Anyway, we were going to grab lunch somewhere in this town but decided to leave before we caught whatever those sorry bastards have that make them and their kids so bloody ugly.

Seriously, if you think The Mayor is putting you on, go there yourself. The place is called Toronto. Make sure you have a full tank of gas for escape purposes.

Portuguese-Centric Schools In Toronto? What A Great Idea

Wednesday, March 9th, 2011

To combat the 35% dropout rate of Portuguese-Canadian students in Toronto schools, Toronto school board trustee, Maria Rodrigues, is floating the idea of a “Portuguese-centric” school:

“We need to get to the bottom of this and maybe an alternative school for Portuguese students like the Africentric school could help,” said Rodrigues, the first in her family to go to university.

“We need to get to the bottom of this?” We are at the bottom of this. Portuguese kids are more likely to drop out of school because they prefer to work. There, done.

There’s no need to call together a task force to study the reasons why these kids drop out of school, it’s obvious to everyone. Portuguese parents don’t care if their kids go to school as long as their kids are working. And there is nothing wrong with that.

What is wrong is the mentality of many (non-Portuguese) parents. Many parents basically force their kids into higher education even though their kid should be digging ditches. We have too many kids going to university and not enough kids getting into trades. We have globs of lawyers and teachers and other useless parasites, and not enough people that can change a freaking lightbulb.

There are so many kids I personally know that hate going to university, but are there because their parents guilted them into it. When they graduate, they have this monster debt hanging over their heads for the next 20 years, and are stuck in a profession they absolutely hate. What a great life for them, their parents should be proud.

This country needs construction workers, we need tradesmen, we need people who like to work manual labour jobs. These folks are the heart of this country, they build things, they produce. Instead, we try to get our children into useless professions that produce nothing. Paper pushers, marketers, politicians, lawyers, all non-producing fleas. And at the end of it all, our kids are unhappy because they never were allowed to follow their dreams.

At least the Portuguese community are truthful to themselves and their kids. “You want to dig a ditch, Augusto? Here’s a shovel. Make good money, bring home a paycheque.”

Wow, the horrors of that.

Welcome To Toronto, Fozzy

Thursday, February 10th, 2011

Don’t you dare laugh, you hater. A bill brought forward by a NDP MP would “amend the Canadian Human Rights Act and the Criminal Code to include the terms gender expression and gender identity.”

An NDP private member’s bill to protect transgender people from discrimination was passed by the House of Commons.

Darcey, at Metis Online, has more.

So, when a chick with a dick uses the women’s washroom and is checking out your little girl, she/he isn’t a pervert, he/she is marginalized. Ya, that’s the ticket.

For too long, cross-dressers haven’t been able to use the bathrooms of the opposite sex without being stared at and harassed. It’s about time this injustice is brought to an end.

Now if you’ll excuse me, I see a hot broad going into the ladies washroom, it’s time to slip out of this suit and into something a little more frilly. Hey, shut it, haters, don’t you dare step on my rights!