Archive for the ‘Urbam Poetry’ Category

The Charge Of The Light Brigade Goes Urban

Friday, October 7th, 2011

Half a league, half a league, of Valu-Rite Vodka,
Half a league of cheap booze onward, yo
All in the valley of Compton
Rode the low rider:
‘Forward, bro!
Charge for the guns’ he said:
Into the hood
Rode the bloods and the crips.

‘Forward, bros!’
Was there a dawg dismay’d ?
Not LaDarius or Martel 
Some one dissed the colours, yo:
Theirs aint no how, nowhere, shit,
Theirs aint no reason, nowhere, shit 
Theirs but to pimp and chill,
Into the hood
Rode the bloods and crips. 

Glocks to right of them, 
Rugers’ to left of them, 
Marginalized youth in front of them
Where be my welfare cheque?;
Storm’d at the stock exchange,
Smelly hippies with no life,
Doing nuthin’ like the uselss swine, they is,
Into the midnight basketball courts

Rode the benefit hunters.

Food stamps in their right hand
packing heat in their left 
taxspenders and malcontents united,
Kill da man, yo! 
All the world wonder’d:
Plunged in the bong smoke
Right thro’ the line they broke; 
Enough energy to riot, just not to work. 
Reel’d from colonialism,
still feelings the effects.
Then they rode back, 
For more handouts, rode back in their Escalades, dat is. 

Glocks to right of them, 
Rugers’ to left of them, 
Marginalized youth in front of them
Where be my welfare cheque?;
Storm’d at the stock exchange,
Smelly hippies with no life,
Doing nuthin’ like the uselss swine, they is,
Into the midnight basketball courts

Left the benefit hunters.

When can their glory fade?
When austery is finally paid!
All the world wonder’d.
How we let these junkies plunder!
50% never pay a dime,
Hope & Change? Not this time!

Dr Seuss Goes Urban

Sunday, November 21st, 2010

Surprise, surprise, surprise.

What is that betwixt my thighs?

Would you like to see it with your own eyes?

It’s usually not that big on most guys.

Splickity, splackety, sploo.

Don’t you wish you had one this big, too?

My Gawd, it’s as big as your shoe!

Whatever am I going to do?

Crocket, tockit, dockit,

Care to see my pocket rocket?

It’s pretty impressive, don’t knock it.

It’s the size of a sheep dog, I have to go walk it!

 Flamity, Zamity, Slam,

Flanity, Manity, Sean Hannity,

Ziggidy, zoggidy, zoo,

pee pee poo poo pee pee poo.